I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

I know I’ve made a big to-do about how Zombies freak me out and how I’ve had to institute a self-ban of “The Walking Dead” and all that fun, f’d up stuff.  But they really are the only thing that freaks me out (ok, that’s a sort of lie, I’m a little freaked out by The Violator…but that’s a whole ‘nuther post).  To help prove my point, let’s talk ghosts.

I just saw Clint Eastwood’s latest talkie “Hereafter” about a psychic, a near death experience and a lost soul mate.  The following post was inspired by that movie and by recent events in my own life…

Ghosts are one of those taboo topics that fit into the conversation lexicon somewhere between “religion & politics” and “Uncle John was a serial killer with a lovechild.”

So, naturally, I’m going to bring it up 😉

It really isn’t spoken about, especially amongst non-believers and those of certain generations. But 100 years ago that simply wasn’t the case.  Manufactured séances were a dime a dozen.  Sarah Winchester fell victim to them, going so far as to follow a medium’s advice of constant construction on her San Jose mansion.  That lasted 38 years until her death and resulted in a house designed to confuse the ghosts of those killed by the Winchester Rifle.

The original “ghostbuster,” Harry Houdini was passionate about exposing these frauds.  A mission that cost him the friendship of none other than Sir Francis Conan Doyle.  Ironically, after his death, his wife held séances every Halloween (he died on October 31, 1926) for 10 years, anticipating the moment he would return in spiritual form and whisper the agreed upon phrase, “Rosabelle believe.” She gave up after the 10th attempt proved fruitless.  Others are still trying though, with his wife’s permission, of course.

There have always been and always will be those who prey on the desperate loved ones of those who have passed away.  Here in Southern California there is a psychic on every block, most of them from a few gypsy families that operate very much like the mafia: http://www.10news.com/news/17967709/detail.html There is an entire website devoted to exposing them: http://www.gypsypsychicscams.com/realstories.html

Oh wait, wrong Gypsy...

Having descended from Bohemia (modern day Czech Republic) on my mother’s side, it’s a little disheartening that these people give genuine psychics a bad name.

You heard me right.  Genuine psychics.  They are out there.  I’ve known some of them for years.  They keep quiet about it and are very weary of anyone knowing about their abilities, which vary from person to person.  I have never once met someone who can predict the future.  What they can do; however, is communicate with and sense the dearly departed.  Some of these people feel a moral obligation and assist with criminal investigations.  Others are horrified and do everything they can to push away what they see as a curse.  Most are ambivalent and accept it for what it is and never do much about it.  One thing they can all agree on is that spirits are all around us.  Most believe in reincarnation.  All believe in heaven and some form of afterlife.

There’s really no way to prove any of this or that ghosts exist and wander among us, but it’s food for thought and a source of comfort for those of us who have lost a loved one.

Except, of course, when you’re knocking boots in the bedroom.  Then, notsomuch.

Dear Walking Dead

Dear AMC’s “The Walking Dead”,

We’ve been on a couple of dates now and, frankly, I’m a little concerned about the direction our relationship is heading in.  I knew going in that you weren’t my type but everyone said you were great so I figured I would give you a chance.  I’m just not convinced that we’re right for each other.  I was anxious during both dates and had nightmares about future dates.  Ten minutes after our last date my hands were still shaking, I just don’t think that’s a good sign of what is to come.

I have to admit that your appearance is a big part of what bothers me.  I’m all for focusing on what’s inside, but your personal hygiene is a real turn off.  It doesn’t look like you’ve brushed your teeth or bathed for weeks.  You’re really starting to smell.  Ironically, you seem to be really attracted to the way I smell and when you start to stumble towards me like a drunken idiot, it makes me really uncomfortable.  It’s like you’re constantly trying to invade my personal bubble.  You also get this look like you want to eat me and there are certain things that even I won’t do in the bedroom.  Not that I would invite you into my bedroom anyway, so don’t get any ideas.

AMC's The Walking Dead

I mean, you look like you USED to be hot....

I also didn’t appreciate the way you treated that Sheriff on our last date. (spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen it) He seemed like a good guy even though he sounded kind of British a couple of times.  And trying to get into the house uninvited?  Really?  Who DOES that?  Ok, I’ll admit that the guy on the roof was really obnoxious.  Unlike you, I’m willing to compromise on some issues.

All that being said, I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there who would love to be in a relationship with you.  Really, you’re a catch!  You’re smart and well-rounded.  I know it sounds cliche but, it’s not you, it’s me.  There, I said it.  I’m going to try not to let my friends pressure me into going out with you again, it’s not healthy for either of us in the long run.  And don’t you try to pressure me either with your talk of what’s to come, I don’t need any more surprises in my life, it’s complicated enough as it is. I wish you a long, happy life.

Ok, maybe we can still be friends.  But no benefits!

Hot Nerd Girl

Tracey Zombie

Still hot, right?

P.S – credit for all zombified pictures of HNG goes to the amazingly talented Brett DeWall