Sucker for Sucker Punch

Sucker-Punch-Movie-with HNG+

{Spoiler Ahead!  You have been warned.}

Maybe I just really like to see girls kicking ass.  Maybe I just have a really big hard on for Zach Snyder. Maybe it’s the fact that my Dad alternates between calling me Sweet Pea and Spike.

Whatever.  All I know is that I finally saw Sucker Punch on Saturday night and I fucking loved it.  Not only did I love it, but I really don’t get why everyone is hatin’ on it.  The only answer I can come up with is that they just don’t get it.

My Mom grew up a feminist in the 60’s and 70’s, she would get in political fights with my Grandfather at the dinner table and stand her ground against a man that is renowned for being a tough opponent in an argument.  I saw this movie with her and the instant it was over we turned to each other and simultaneously said “I loved it.”  I tell you this because it seems that much of the criticism I’ve seen has been by women that are pissed off about this movie being anti-girl power.

Anti-girl power my ass.


If anything, I see this movie as being about empowerment, strength, focus, and the will to fight and not take shit sitting down.  You’ve got Baby Doll who fights back against her asshole stepdad (in a fantastic opening sequence), is forced into a mental hospital and then fights for her freedom.  She just happens to solve her problems using metaphors.  She’s in a helpless and demeaning situation so she envisions herself trapped in a place that is equaling as demeaning – where girls are forced to dance and act as prostitutes – a sort of sex slave version of Moulin Rouge and a situation I sure as hell would want to escape from.

She then takes a cue from Inception (or Scrooge McDuck) and has fantasies within her fantasy where she acquires four of the five objects she needs to escape – a map, a source of fire, a knife, and a key.  In her fantasies she battles against giant samurai, Nazi zombies, some of the orcs from Lord of the Rings, and a pissed off dragon mama.

Nazi zombies people!



What isn’t there to like about five hot chicks kicking Nazi zombie ass???

I might be slightly biased on that particular point.

Like the chicas, the other main players are the same throughout each fantasy world.  The helpful old guy who guides her, hotty mctottie Carla Gugino (who I heart big time), the cook, the pyro orderly, the evil step-dad, and most evident of all, the creepy head orderly who has a thing for torturing the girls on the side.  Even Don Draper gets to play double duty as a doctor/High Roller who’s appearance provides the deadline the girls are trying to beat.

I’m not gonna lie, I got a little verklempt when Baby Doll realized that she was the fifth and heretofore unknown item on the list and then proceeded to sacrifice herself so that Sweet Pea could escape.  I so badly wanted Baby Doll to escape as well.

She certainly took that spike to the brain like a man.

Sci Five 3.53.5 out of 5 sci-fives

A “Super” Review

Super-movie-poster_with hot nerd girlIt’s been a while since I’ve done a movie review (Harry Potter/RED) of anything because quite honestly I’m one busy little hot nerd. But, when I saw the trailer for Super I just knew I had to see it.


Super, as I’m sure you all know because you just watched the trailer, is the latest film by James Gunn, the deviant mind that brought us Slither, about a man who has decided to become a super hero. To give just enough back story, it’s very similar to Kick-Ass but with one major difference; its way more f**ked up. Here are the main points that kind of weirded me out, without giving too much away.

The beginning is very similar to Kick-Ass in terms of story structure. Frank (Rainn Wilson), seemingly had no real prior exposure to super hero’s before watching an episode of the Holy Avenger (Nathan Fillion) as opposed to Kick Ass whose Mom died of a brain embolism or something something SCIENCE! Suddenly, Frank has a bee in his bonnet to stop crime and does so by dressing as the crimson bolt and beating people with a plumbers wrench. He goes out, posting signs telling “Crime” that he’s coming, much like Kick Ass made a…. what was it?…. *Googles Kick-Ass*…. WTF is MySpace? Whatever…. to advertise their badass-e-ness.

HolyAvenger and hot nerd girl

I would fight crime with him any day of the week!

Both are obviously out of a need to feel something other than they are feeling, which kind of digs at the heart of a lot of the current super hero trend. Super hero’s become hero’s for a lot of different reasons but the most overwhelming is just to feel something different. At least as far as the movies go, some do it to get away from guilt (Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man) while others do it to make the rest of us look like assholes (Superman, Captain America)

But those are really where the similarities end. While both movies are very, very violent, Super is more visceral in its violence. There are no sweeping ballets of Big Daddy or Hit Girl taking out numerous thugs. It’s mostly just Rainn Wilson beating people with a wrench until the very end where guns finally come into play.


Now Libby (Ellen Page) is where Frank gets all his super hero knowledge. She’s basically like me, filled with nerdy knowledge about comic books and stuff but in a much more demented package. Kind of like a shitzu on steroids this girl does some crazy stuff. And I mean just… weird. She eventually figures out that Frank is the Crimson Bolt and forces him to accept her as his sidekick Boltie. This is the point where the movie moves from kind of violent to blood everywhere.


Shortly, before the cat fight....

It’s also the point not where the movie lost me, but kind of overwhelmed me. It kind of turned from watching a super hero movie into watching something more akin to Full Metal Jacket. Everyone kind of starts to lose it and by the end I felt a little…. violated. Not in a good way, but not necessarily in a bad way. Most superhero movies leave you wanting to be like the hero, saving the day and doing some good. But this ending leaves me feeling like even attempting to be a superhero would be a bad idea.

It’s a very honest ending, that I won’t ruin, that totally falls in line with the spirit of the movie. It’s just that this movie makes me just happy to have what I have and not have to go through what Frank went through; some very serious catharsis.

Sci Five -3.5

Three and a half out of Five sci-fives