My sister-in-law and I were at WonderCon on Friday and somehow we got on the topic of “Cheat Sheets.”
And no, I’m not talking about the school variety.
The “Cheat Sheet” I’m referring to is a list of people you’re allowed to get it on with and your significant other can’t hold it against you. You both get one and the list is full of people you don’t even remotely stand a chance with. For example, Robert Downey Jr. and Christian Bale are on my SIL’s list. Isla Fisher and Gretchen Mole are on my brother’s list. They are only allowed 5 each.
Now, I’ve written a number of articles about sexy women, the 2 most popular being 10 Hottest Babes of Sci-Fi and Maxim’s Hot 100 Lucky 13 but I have yet to write a post about nerd-worthy sexy men. This kind of blows my mind. It also got me thinking about my own list and who would be on it. I certainly know it when I see it if I’d hit it…but can I narrow it down to a list?
It’s was a difficult challenge but one that I was willing to accept.
Yeesh my job really sucks sometimes
After much thought, meditation and Google image searching, I’ve put together my Cheat Sheet. I couldn’t narrow it down to 5 so I get 7. Because I’m HNG and I say so. So there. Naturally everyone on my list fits nicely into the nerd ‘verse….cause that’s all I ever pay attention to anyways…ahem. Sorry if you don’t bat for this team and it’s not your kind of list. I’m an equal opportunity sexy list maker and I can’t (nay won’t!) neglect the fans who will appreciate this.
So without further ado, here’s my list in alphabetical order:
I studied for my college finals every December for 3 years in a row while waiting in the 5+ hour line for opening day of the latest Lord of the Rings movie. I graduated Cum Laude so I must have been doing something right. The first time I saw Legolas on screen I was 100% convinced that I was going to marry him one day. Then all the teeny boppers jumped on that bandwagon (especially once Pirates of the Caribbean came out) and it turned me off big time. But still, I can’t help it. I think he’s adorable. Thankfully most of those teeny boppers have moved on to RPatz. I used to see Orlando outside my work sometimes, once with Dominic Monaghan (and cue borderline creepy stalker pic) and my heart would still leap into my throat. So he stays on the list.
Does this one really need an explanation? I didn’t think so. But I’ll give one anyway. Actually, I wrote a whole blog about it back when HNG was brand spankin’ new and I stand by it. But aside from the fact that he’s Malcolm Reynolds, Captain Hammer, Richard Castle, The Holy Avenger, etc etc etc…Nathan himself has an amazing sense of humor. I don’t pay much attention to my Twitter account (although I probably should) but every once in a while I go on and just read back through his tweets for fun. I’m often told that I look like Stana Katic, Nathan’s source of sexual tension on Castle. I disagree about the physical similarities but I would gladly trade places with her and experience some of that sexual tension for myself. ….please….?
Five of the men on this list are foreigners with deliciously sexy foreign accents. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as proud an American as they come, but GD I love a good accent. There’s a scene in This Means War when Reese Witherspoon meets Tom Hardy for the first time and she asks him to say something again because it sounds so awesome. I could not have said it better myself. Tom Hardy first came to my attention as the Captain Picard clone in Star Trek: Nemesis. I went to see it on opening day with about ten guy friends. About five minutes into the movie I started crying (because I’m a movie psychic and I’d already figured out what would happen to Data) much to the horror of every guy I was with. I will never forget the moment when the friend next to me asked me if I was ok and I looked over and saw ten grown men staring at me like I had tentacles sprouting from my face. It was HI-larious. But I digress. The other thing that stood out was Tom. He’s been charming me ever since, crooked teeth and all. Seriously, he was my very favorite character in Inception. I think I’m the only person on the planet that isn’t looking forward to seeing him as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. I know he’s going to be brilliant but the thought of him like that just makes me cringe. But I’ll still watch it. Over and over and over again.
If you’ve been following the blog for a while this will come as no surprise. If you are a newbie, allow me to explain. I’m a big Thor fan. 1. He’s my favorite comic book character and 2. I’m a ridiculously proud Scandinavian who grew up listening to stories about Odin and Asgard while we made lefse and sauerkraut. The first time I remember seeing Thor on a movie screen was when Vincent D’Onofrio reluctantly accepted the title in Adventures in Babysitting, one of my very favorite movies of all time. So I had very high hopes for whoever Kenneth Branaugh cast in his Avengers set up. I wasn’t sure what to think about Chris Hemsworth at first. I remembered him being Kirk’s daddy in the latest Star Trek and I thought he was mighty cute but not big enough to be the God of Thunder. Then he took his shirt off and I had a conniption fit. OMFG. Seriously Chris, you just have to say the word and it is on like Donkey Kong.
I think my attraction to James mostly has to do with his Scottish accent. And his eyes. And the fact that he’s a brilliant actor. And his eyes. And his accent. All of which I discussed in my review of X-Men: First Class. But aside from all that, he’s uber talented. Mr. Tumnus is one of those literary characters that is beloved by fans of The Chronicles of Narnia and James did good by our favorite faun. Plus, he rocks the Jane Austin-type stuff and you know us girls eat that shit right up.
Another choice that needs no explanation. Easily the sexiest of all the Doctor incarnations, his 3 series and 8 specials are the most popular and well-loved of the long running Doctor Who BBC show. Then he had to go and seal the deal with Harry Potter and Fright Night, forcing me to adore him forever. His face is so malleable, he can twist and turn it in countless ways. But when he just stop and smiles, your heart melts. David, I am so sorry (see what I did there?), but I just can’t quit you.
Now, my brother’s name is Michael and normally I’m totally weirded out by the thought of banging someone with the same name as someone I’m related to but in this case I will totally make an exception. I fell head over heels in love with Anders the second he showed up on Battlestar Galactica. Lee who? Seriously, I wanted to punch Starbuck in the face for the way she treated him. Even the fact that he was a Cylon could not diminish my love. It sucked when he went all vegetable and yet I would still probably hit that. I’m a little grossed out by myself right now but damn, that is a fine ass man. He also had memorable guest spots on Big Bang Theory and Castle (where my celebrity look alike got to have a nice little love triangle with TWO of the people on my list. Bitch.)
Richard Madden – Game of Thrones
Kit Harington - Game of Thrones
Chris O’Donnell – Batman Forever (but never ever ever Batman & Robin *shudder*)
Patrick Stewart – Star Trek: The Next Generation, X-Men
Henry Cavill – The Tudors, Immortals, Man of Steel
Jamie Dornan – Once Upon A Time
Jason Mamoa – Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones, Stargate: Atlantis
Ben Browder – Farscape, Stargate SG1, upcoming Doctor Who episode
Alexander Skarsgard – True Blood
Ryan Kwanten – True Blood
Joe Manganiello – True Blood
Tristan MacManus – Dancing with the Stars (I know, totally random, right? But I’m a theatre/dance nerd too and he’s frakking adorable)