100th HNG POST!! “Ask a Nerd Girl”


Ask a Nerd Girl

Wow.  This is my 100th blog post.  It kinda crept up on me.  I wasn’t sure what to do to mark this momentous (for me, at least) occasion.  Then I thought, hey! I’ll make it about the fans! They can ask whatever questions they want and I’ll give them advice or whatever.  People are always asking me for advice.  Heck, I could moonlight as a therapist for a few of my friends.

The response was way bigger than I thought it would be and the questions very different then I thought they would be (I didn’t think there would be so many personal questions!)  Because I was pulling the questions from multiple areas I apologize if I missed any.  I tried to answer all of them.

But mostly, I just want to say thank you.  For supporting me, for sticking by me, and for being such a wonderful community of fellows nerds and nerdettes.


Jamie A: A Star Trek mirror universe based TV series would be awesome (but incredibly unlikely), which time period in the franchise would be best to see in the mirror universe and why?

I’d actually love to see a TV show based on Sela.  About a week ago I participated in a podcast discussion with the World’s Best Podcast guys about how that character was sorely underutilized during the TNG years.  It would be a great opportunity to see more of the elusive Romulans and get to know Tasha Yar a bit better as her mirror universe daughter discovers more about her roots.

Rob W: How do you feel about Star Wars: The Old Republic and the new 1.2 Legacy patch?

I don’t play SW:TOR.  *GASP!*  I know.  Blasphemy, right?  It’s actually pretty rare for me to play video games in general these days.  It’s not that I don’t love them, I do.  I used to play them all the time and I’ll sit and watch other people play them for hours.  But I’ve developed bad wrist problems and combine that with the fact that I have ridiculously tiny hands and it’s physically painful for me to use the controllers for more than a few minutes at a time.  I know, it sucks.

Troi D: I hear your sister in law is pretty cool can you tell us more about her?

Well, the sci-fi gods were definitely smiling down on my brother when they handed him a girl named “Troi.”  And yo- I mean SHE is as awesome as her name.  Plus, she gave me an adorable nephew to dote on and warp into a mini nerd.  I’m super lucky in that my whole family is super cool and super supportive.

Ian F : With the upcoming Geek Fest Film known as The Avengers coming in little over 2 weeks to North America (rest of the world gets it sooner, curse them . .) How are you preparing to come down from the AWESOME HIGH that will be experiencing that movie? or are you prepared at all?

I’m 99.99% sure that I will have multiple nerdgasms in the movie theatre.  I kind of feel sorry for the people who will be sitting around me because there will be lots of squealing and clapping coming from my direction.  My plan is to have a Marvel Movie Marathon at my house along with Geek Outlaw and some other friends before we go see The Avengers.  I think we calculated the total running time of the 5 previously released Marvel movies at 10 hours and 1 minute.  That includes The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and Thor. It’s going to be an epic day.

José H: If Captains Kirk (circa 1968) and Reynolds (circa 2003) get into an argument and end up in fisticuffs, who would win?

Oh man, that’s a really tough question Jose.  They’re both known for their bare knuckle brawling skills.  I’m going to say Kirk and here’s why.  Yes, Mal is a badass but he only ever fights humans (for the sake of argument I’m going to consider Reavers human) whereas Kirk has fought and defeated multiple types of alien species.  If I were to witness Mal kicking Gorn’s ass I might have to rectify this logic but for now I’m sticking to my guns.

Justin R: will you go out with me?

Kevin H: will you marry me? 🙂

Y’all are so sweet and I’m very flattered but I’m spoken for.

Geek Outlaw: If you could have ANY character written for yourself to play in the entire Star Trek universe, what would they be like? Name? Race? Background? Association? Personality? Level of Bad-Ass-ness?

This question was answered about 13 years ago back when I was really into RPGing.  Geek Outlaw, I’m not sure you even know this about me (?) but I was a crew member on three different Starfleet ships at one point.  I even have a monstrously huge binder full of everything I ever wrote for all three ships as well as a print out of every page of startrek.com for reference.  My mom shudders when she looks at all the paper I used back then.  I was always a Trill and I always somehow ended up with a symbiont.  I remember being a Stellar Cartographer nicknamed “Mo” on one ship when I was at SFSU.  In High School I was Tra’cia Ru’maro and eventually Tra’cia Dax (I know, super original, right?), XO of the USS Redemption, a new class of warship that had recovered Borg technology incorporated into its systems.  Personality was always pretty much on par with the real me….with maybe just slightly more badassery 😉

Cyric C: Nerd girl, I am a Geek in a relationship with a nonintellectual type. We have a number of things in common because I also enjoy a wide range of more physically oriented pursuits, but lately it’s just been a real drag because as I learn and discover new things that I am in awe of, she couldn’t care less. Should I leave or is there perhaps an alternative route to go?

If by “nonintellectual-type” you’re calling her dumb then I wouldn’t worry about whether or not you should leave her cause chances are she’ll be leaving you first for being a jerk.  But if you mean to say that you’re in a mixed marriage with a muggle then I can sympathize.  Opposites attract so many of us date/marry non-nerds.  My advice is to enjoy the activities you can do together and find a group of friends that you can do nerdy stuff with.  There are plenty of guilds, groups, and reenacting clubs out there.  If that’s just not enough and she’s not willing to at least try getting into something you love then it probably isn’t meant to be.

Kyle S: I’m a nerd guy and always dreamed of dating a Hot Nerd Girl. How does one go about finding a HNG and how would one approach said HNG? Being an HNG yourself, I’m sure you have much unique insight that could help all Nerd Guys everywhere.

Having the confidence to approach and ask is more than half the battle.  I have yet to meet an HNG (and I’ve met a lot of them) that isn’t a sweetheart.  If an HNG catches your eye at a convention or your local comic book store and you don’t see a ring on her finger, go for it.  If she’s taken chances are she’ll let you down nicely.  If she’s not nice about it then consider yourself lucky that she’s saving you the trouble of having to deal with a mean girl.  Same thing goes for the ladies.  Nasty people aren’t worth your time or energy.

Steve L: Well until recently people would and have been bullied for being who they are. Whether that’s being a general otaku/nerd/fan-person or just being dorky, a bit strange and weird, there are people out there that have been terrorized by being bullied, and I hate to say this but not just in school in your younger years. Oh if it were that easy, but at work and now especially on the net.  There are people scared to post up and speak out because of the ramifications that can happen, and if you speak up you’re opening yourself to being ostracized from your fellow workers for fear they might get in trouble by talking to you. I’d like to ask you what your opinion on the subject and what you can offer those out there to stop being scared, be strong, and be able to confront those bullying them and others. That’s my question for your 100th post and congrats on that by the way as well.

Steve, this is such an important topic of conversation and one that I feel very passionately about.  I cannot stand seeing people get picked on and have gotten into a few altercations myself trying to defend people.  I feel like bullying in school is starting to get a bit better. It’s far from solved but at least we’re on the right track.  No one wants to come to school the next day and find out a kid killed themselves.  The slogan can be a bit cheesy but the “it gets better” and No H8 campaigns are making a dent and are applicable to anyone who feels they are an outsider.

Workplace bullying is so very different. These are people who should really know better and are throwing any modicum of professionalism out the window.  A few years back I worked for a very small company that didn’t have any kind of HR department.  I’ve got a great sense of humor and love to joke around but there was blatant sexual harassment from an individual that I couldn’t continue to ignore.  In the end I left the company.  Sometimes you just have to do that.  I went on to work for another company that likewise didn’t have an HR department but who were excellent at solving people’s issues.  I never had one complaint the entire time I worked there.  It’s tough to leave an abusive situation in this economy but if you’re emotional well-being is a stake and there is no one who can help you, it’s worth it to leave.

I feel like this topic needs its own blog because I have so much more to say about this.

Brandon K: Tracy, Congratz on the 100th post!!!  You are making me look bad w/ my lack of writing lately – BUT, the redesign of my site is live as of this afternoon and I’m feeling inspired!!!  Background:  I am the proud Nerdy father of three Nerdy daughters (two 17yr olds and an 11yr old) and between the four of us we cover just about everything from Firefly and Doctor Who to Zombies and the apocalypse.  But enough about me – on to YOU!  (wait, that sounded bad . . . . don’t tell my wife . . . . ) Anywho – my question to you is:  If nerds across the known verse could only remember one thing about you and what you’re passionate about – what would you want your legacy to be? Can’t wait to read your answer!

Wow, great question!  Tough though….there are so many different ways to answer this!  I’m constantly striving to remind people that there are real heroes in this world.  Men and women who would never admit that they are heroes but who are.  These are not professional athletes, they are not actors, they are not carpet cleaners.  They are the people who put their lives on the line every single day so that we don’t have to worry about our safety on a daily basis.  I think everyone here knows that I come from a military family and they are certainly my main focus.  I volunteer for Operation Gratitude, crochet scarves and write letters to include in care packages.  But I extend that out to cops, firefighters, intelligence agencies, etc.  The people who makes such huge sacrifices for complete strangers.  Thor and Superman are fantastic, I love them and I obsess over them.  But my personal superheroes are my Dad and my Brother.

Steven K: I love this question, I was just asked it in an interview, and since I only love it sarcastically, I’d like to share the pain: How would your friends describe you?

I tend to be very shy so I don’t make friends easily but when I do I’m extremely loyal.  I’m also very awkward much of the time, even around people I’ve been friends with for years, which is totally weird and lame.  My guy friends would tell you that I’m naïve and fit into that “little sister” niche but my girl friends would tell you that I’m an overprotective mama hen (no one gets roofied on my watch). But what people most often tell me is that I’m a sweetheart. I hate gossip and back stabbing so I don’t participate in it and I avoid people who do.  Life’s too short to put up with all that crap.  My friend Brian just called me a “closet super freak.”  I’m going to take that as a compliment… And I hope they would all say that I have a great sense of humor 😉

Nishi D: What advice do you have for aspiring Nerd Girls struggling to make it in a Nerd Boys’ and Non-Nerd Girls’ world?

Lisann Z: Do you have some words of wisdom for other hot nerd girls?

Just be yourself.  That’s all I’ve ever done.  It has never been my goal to fit in anywhere and I’ve always been a bit of an outsider everywhere.  Which is just fine with me.

Shawn H: Bang Marry Kill: Picard, Kirk, and Sisko. Go.

Aww shit!  Torture me why don’t you! LOL.  Ugh.  Questions like this are really tough for me but here goes.  I’m gonna kill Sisko because (and only because!) he’s sort of in weird Prophet limbo-land anyways and that makes it mighty convenient for me.  I’m most attracted physically to Picard and if I have to wake up next to one of them everyday (uhh, yes please) I guess it would be him.  Kirk’s a total manwhore but the flip side of that is he’s gotta know all kinds of crazy awesome tricks, right? So as long as he’s cleared by medical I’ll bang Kirk.

Chad E: Definition of hump day. Go.

Wednesday, you dirty-minded man you!

Kenneth W: What is the moment in your life that you feel pride for being a nerd?

When I see other nerds coming out of their shells and being proud of who they are.

Troi D: Why is Bill Murray so awesome?

I think his awesomeness defies explanation.  It’s a gift that God bestows on but a few.

Kevin L: Create your own super-hero (the world certainly needs one). What would your super-hero name be? What would your super-powers be, and your weakness? What would you believe in, and why?

Wow, y’all are really putting me to work with these questions!  I’m actually in the process of creating my own unique HNG superhero costume for Comic Con so it’s funny that you asked this.  Princess Trek has been a nickname of mine for about, ohh…15 years….so I’ll go with that as my name in lieu of HNG.  I’d LOVE to be able to fly.  I dream a lot and at least half the time I have the ability to fly.  Super healing would be great too. I’m thinking I’d like a couple of badass Katanas as well.  My weakness would be the sun.  I have sensitive eyes and the sun gives me headaches so I’d need to have an awesome VISOR as part of my outfit.  It’d be cool to work for the government, like GI Joe or SHIELD and defend the US (and World) against supervillians and terrorists.

Michael H: i don’t have a question, but I would like to request more and sexier photo shoots.

I’ll work on that.  Though I tend to be a bit of a prude so it may require copious amounts of alcohol to accomplish.

Ray N: Why aren’t there any HNG tees and other assorted SWAG, Tracy? 😀

I’ve thought about it a bit but I’m not sure many people would buy it LOL.  Correct me if I’m wrong!  Maybe I should have a t-shirt designing contest.  Thoughts?

Kenneth W: How has been a hot nerd girl made your life better? How has it made it worse?

I’ve always been a nerd so I really can’t imagine what my life would be like without sci-fi, fantasy, etc.  I get so unbelievably happy when I discover a new book or tv show, I literally light up like a firecracker.  I am passionate about my nerdy pursuits so I feel like it makes my life better on a daily basis.  Being a girl in the nerd world hasn’t really affected me other than the curious looks I get when I walk into a convention…although…that is much less the case today.  It used to be that I was one of only a few girls in the whole place, now conventions are overrun with hot, nerdy ladies which is fantastic.

I really can’t think of any way in which it’s made my life worse.  My look isn’t for everyone but it certainly never hurts to be considered attractive.  I mentioned before that I tend to be socially awkward.  If anything, being nerdy has helped with that.  I may not be the best at contributing to a conversation but the second Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter comes up I’m the liveliest person in the group.

Helen D: When do you most wish you had the power of the Force? For example, last night after my shower I pulled back the shower curtain only to realize I had forgotten my towel on the back of the door…

I hate it when I do that!  So annoying.  I wish I could use the Force to make meals since I’m such a terrible cook.  Either that or I need a replicator.  Either will do.

Robbie B: What are your thoughts on Stargate SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe? I havn’t seen blog posts about them, please tell me that you have watched them! Also, have you watched any of the Warehouse 13 series? If so, what are your thoughts?

Wow, you’re right, I haven’t written about them!  I actually just put all of the Stargate shows in my Netflix queue the other day so I could revisit them.  I’ll try to write a whole post about it soon.  But the short answer is that I loved SG-1.  I watched Atlantis in waves (har har) and that’s why I’m planning to go back and watch it from start to finish.  I need to catch up on Universe and I’ve watched Warehouse 13 only sporadically.  I wish I could skip sleeping because I always have so much going on, it’s really hard to fit everything in.

James V: Do you like my new haircut???

Send me a picture and I’ll let you know.

Kenneth W: What would you personally like to change about nerd culture?

Just that nerds be proud of who they are.  It’s easier now than ever. Being a nerd/geek has become much more socially acceptable so why deny your inner nerd?  Let your geek flag fly!

Phil K: If you could be half human, half sausage, which half of your body would you want to be sausage and why?

My bottom half cause then I could eat myself out.  That’s vulgar.  I can’t believe I just said that.

Tidus J: when did you know you were a nerd?

I don’t remember ever not being a nerd.  Star Trek has been on the family TV since I was a baby and I fell in love with comics not long after I learned to read.

Brett W: when did you know you were hot?

When my guy friends started telling me I was.  Probably around age 14.

Nick J: When did you know you were a hot nerd?

When a friend told me I needed to call my blog Hot Nerd Girl.

Jesse L: If a gun was put to your head, which would you choose? Star Trek or Star Wars?

Star Trek will always be my first love.  Plus, there’s more of it to watch so if I was marooned on a desert island with only one franchise I’d be entertained for a longer period of time if I picked Star Trek.

Rick S: If you could recreate one of your favorite movies which one would it be and what actors currently still in the biz would be in it? Unlimited budget…

Oh wow, good question.  Hmmm….I’m actually not a big fan of remakes and I would probably cry if anyone tried to remake something like Princess Bride or Legend.  Can I pick a movie that I would like to see remade because I DIDN’T like it?  Like Catwoman or FF Silver Surfer?

Kim C: when is Shatner cooler than Kirk ?

5 years ago I would have said “never, Shatner is a douche, viva la Kirk!” but Shatner has actually gotten pretty awesome and less douchy in the past few years.  So I’m going to say when he’s “singing.”

Kenneth W: What instance made you feel shame over nerd culture in general?

There are certain websites that shall remain nameless in which people log on anonymously and say very demeaning things about women and each other.  I wouldn’t say that I feel shame but I’m really not a big fan of those.  Or of people being mean in general.

Chris T: You aren’t just nerd girl, you are hot nerd girl. With that established, my question is about your hotness. What is your favorite cut of undergarment?

As a guy do you know the various cuts of women’s undergarments?  If so, I’m not sure if that’s cool or creepy LOL.  For underwear, bikini cut. For bras, demi.

Brian T: What is your Zombie Apocalypse Plan?

There’s this as well as a rendezvous point with my family members.  Let’s just say that I’m grateful I come from a family that’s full of active and retired military personnel.

Ricky D: If they were to make Firefly season 2 (gawd I wish), would you rather it be pre-Serenity with Wash and Book still alive, or post-Serenity with River as the new pilot and a widowed and possibly pregnant Zoe?

I’m all about moving forward, not looking back.  It wouldn’t be the same without Wash and Book, and just the thought of it makes me horribly depressed, but I don’t think you could go back in time without making it weird.

Dan M: what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Talking nerdy to you.

David F: What’s your favorite Nerd candy flavor?


Jake S: Goku vs. Superman?

What this guy said…

Rob G: ok iknow its not a question for me but i would like to weigh in on goku vs superman. yes superman is fast and can shoot heat rays out of his xray eyes, and is powered by the sun thus making him one OP motha…. this being said just about every character in DBZ seems to shoot lazers out of something and can fly and are ridiculously fast. the biggest difference is in power source. superman has sun, goku has getting pissed and sensu beans. by this logic goku wins because he could just blow up the sun and instant transmission out this bitch with the rest of the planet while superman could be left scratching his ass wondering what happened. one spirit bomb, all im saying.

Actually, I never really got into Dragon Ball Z.  That was more my brother’s thing.  So I’ll go with Superman just because I like him more.

Mike W: How do I score an invitation to your birthday party next year?

Hmmm….maybe I’ll have a contest or something.

Alvaro A: Would you be open to an interview?


Rick S: If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

No, I’d say thank ya kindly.

Jin R: X-Men vs Avengers?

Can I have both?  Thor is my favorite but the X-Men are my second favorite.

Jin R: sex or wow?


Steven H: Batman vs. Wolverine?

Geez, y’all ask some tough questions.  I’m terrible at choosing between two things that I love.  This came up on the facebook page a while back and I went with Wolverine then.

Jin R: money or gold?

Gold-pressed latinum.

Mike C: oh man, I really want to take advantage of this opportunity. but I really have no questions in mind… and only an hour to think of one…. cuz most of the ones I’d come up with I know the answer to. Lol. Oooh ooh I got one. Of any character in the Star Trek universe….. who would you want to get absolutely plastered drunk with?

I can see why you would have trouble considering you’ve known me for more than a decade LOL.  Easy.  Jadzia Dax. That girl knows how to party.

Kevin L: Why do you host the HNG community? What does it mean to you?

It all started with the blog. The community has been the best, most deliciously awesome cherry on top ever.  Honestly, it means the world to me and I’ll tell you why.  Because there are soooo many places on the internet where people go and are hyper critical and downright mean to each other (usually anonymously) and I have a real problem with that.  It’s my humble opinion that the world is mean enough to nerds and outsiders, the least we can do is be nice to each other.  The vast majority of the time everyone on the HNG page is friendly and supportive of both me and the other people participating.  I feel like it’s a safe place to congregate.  I can’t tell you how much that positive energy means to me.  Y’all make me smile and laugh every day and I love ya for it.

Jesse V: Which Final Fantasy character out of all the series would you consider to be the best of all?

Cid. LOL.

Brian L: How old are you? What is your occupation? Where did you go to college? What did you study? When did you graduate?

Old enough to do everything I want legally. Writer (an aspiring one at least). San Francisco State University. Theatre. A while ago.

Robert H: Where can I get my very own Hot Nerd Girl? 😛

Frequent the places they frequent.  Best place is always at conventions, they have the highest concentrations.

Mark E: ontogeny recapitulates ??? (Milk and Cookies if you get the right answer…)

Haeckel was a lying liar who lies.

I can haz cookies?

John G: Jedi or Sith?

I’m a sucker for the good guys.  I’ll go with Jedi.  From an acting standpoint though, it’d be more fun to play a Sith.

Shauna H: how do you choose your outfits/costumes/cosplay? Do you do period garb? Have you created any of your own stuff? What made you choose this name for this page? (thanks for answering)

I usually do surveys.  Give a list of 5 or 6 options and tally up the votes.  Batgirl I did because I saw the costume at Halloween and I liked it.  I’ve done period garb in the past but not in several years.  I love it though and I’m dying to put together my own Valkyrie costume.  I’m just now starting to create my own costumes.  I created a Pris (Blade Runner) costume for a friend’s birthday party this past weekend and I’m starting to work on two more for Comic Con.  We’ll see how that goes.  I’m a very crafty person but that creativity doesn’t seem to extend to clothing (I’m really NOT into fashion, like, at all).  I didn’t choose the name HNG, a friend did. It took him a while to sell me on it and it still embarrasses me but I’m tying really hard to get over that and just own it.

Jeff P: is Urkel a superhero?

I think that Urkel started out as a great role model.  He was smart and confident.  Same with Screech from Saved by the Bell.  Then at some point both characters underwent a weird transformation and became bumbling idiots who spent half their time running into walls and falling over chairs.  I’d like to have a heated discussion with whoever made those creative decisions because I think they did a disservice to nerds everywhere.  For me the real life superheroes are the armed forces.  I was raised by military personnel and my brother is currently serving so I may be a bit biased in that regard.

Edward W: Is there a Hot Nerd Girl boot camp my girlfriend can attend?

Ha!  No, but that sounds like a lot of fun!  We could put each other’s hair in side buns and talk about the dreamiest Captains and have Tribble fights!


So what do y’all think?  Is “Ask a Nerd Girl” something I should do more often?  Or was it totally lame and should be jettisoned into space?  Should it be a permanent fixture with its own page on the blog? Let me know in the comments.



A collection of random thoughts about A Song of Ice and Fire

I mean seriously, I could totally be a Stark! Right?!

I finally finished reading Book 5 of the Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin (which took me an abnormally long time compared to books 1-4).  As I read and finished each book in the series I wrote down my thoughts.  Sometimes they are snippets, sometimes they are discussions I’m having with myself, and sometimes it’s just me rehashing something that happened so that I can work it all out in my head.  Writing crap like this down is just something I’ve always done.  I’m not really sure why.

I did not edit these random thought nuggets so BE WARNED THAT THERE ARE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD and if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read those sections.  As a bonus I wrote down my brain farts while watching the first season of the HBO Game of Thrones TV show.  I’m not including any of my thoughts on the second season because it’s still in progress and some folks wait for the DVD’s to come out, etc etc.

So here you go, a glimpse into the way my brain works 😉


Game of Thrones

Having descended from Nordic peoples, I have a feeling I would totally dig living at Winterfell.

I want a direwolf.  Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

George, I’m not gonna lie, I’m more than a little pissed that you killed off my favorite Lord.  I’m sure his death is going to play a huge part in the books to come but I really thought he was going to get out of there and live to fight another day.

I will comfort myself with Ned Stark cake pops

I love Arya. Probably because she reminds me of me at that age, a scraggly, scrawny tomboy running around with all the boys having adventures.  I had no use for Barbies except when I needed someone for GI Joe to rescue from the dinosaurs. I would have loved nothing more than to have had a private “dance” instructor back then…actually, that still holds true today.

Dance monkey, dance!

Yeesh Lysa.  Somebody get this girl some heavy medication.

Poor Bran.

This Littlefinger dude is more trouble than he seems.

“No Ser Jorah, it’s totally cool.  I’m just gonna walk into this burning funeral pyre, mmmkay?  It’s all good.”  I can see why Ser Jorah would have his doubts.

Way to find your girl power Daenerys!

So wait, what’s the difference between an “Other” and a “Wight”?  Ok, got it.

Wow. Joffrey is an asshat.

Thank gods my brother isn’t like Viserys, I’d probably kill him too.  Khal Drogo wins the “most creative way to kill a douchebag” award.

Incest is the best, put your sister to the test. Now please excuse me while I vomit profusely.

Theon, you sound like a sexy beast.  I kind of dig it how you smirk all the time as your way of sticking it to the man.  You might be my crush in this series.

Clash of Kings

GDit Theon Greyjoy, you little shit.  I used to have a sort of crush on my mental image of you with your cocky little smile and your bad boy attitude, but now I just want to go bloody mummer on your ass.  How dare you sir!  How dare you hurt Old Nan!

Sansa is my least favorite of all the Starks…so why do I cry the ugly cry during her parts?!? I love Arya and she’s going through way more crap than Sansa is but I don’t even get verklempt during Arya’s parts.  I think it must be because Sansa is so helpless and defenseless.  Arya’s got skillz and can take care of herself but Sansa can only whimper while Joffrey is abusing her.  I will say that Sansa has grown on me though.  I wanted to strangle her myself while reading Game of Thrones.

Poor poor Bran…oh wait, nevermind.

So wait, Melisandre gives birth to murderous shadow babies?  WTF??

Hodor.  Hodor?  HODOOOOOOORRR!!!!

It's true. Cause he's huge. You'd probably get knocked down. Yeah.

Sucks to be Ser Seaworth.  Say that 5 times fast.

Valar Morghulis?  Duh.  Way to state the obvious.

Craster is fucked up.  How do you look at the toddler running around and think, yeah, I’ll bang her in a few more years.  I mean WTF?!??  I can’t say I blame Gilly for wanting to get the hell out of Dodge.

The dwarf gets all the best sex.  That’s awesome.  But for some reason I can’t get the image of Willow banging Sorsha out of my head.

I think I know who Arstan Whitebeard is….I think.  But I don’t want to say yet in case it’s BS (see what I did there?)  I love a good double entendre.


A Storm of Swords

1000 pages of awesomesauce.

Hell yeah!  I was right about Selmy! Self sci-five!

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks that Gendry has a fat crush on Arya.

Geez George, is there anyone you won’t kill??  Is nothing and no one sacred???

Huh.  Well Catelyn, I honestly didn’t see that coming.  I’d hang all the Frey’s too.

Still not sure what to think of Jojen but Meera is awesome.  I’d have a crush on her too, Bran.  Why are psychic kids always so creepy?

Valar Dohaeris. Unless you fancy yourself royal.

Always listen to your direwolf.

So are all of the Stark children wargs?

I wonder if House Tyrell is a GRRM nod to the Tyrell Corporation? Either way, the Tyrell women are fantastic.  I love the Queen of Thorns.  She reminds me of my grandma.  Except for the scheming and murdering.

Wow Sansa, you get a lot done in this book.  I’m impressed.

Jaime – loses a hand and becomes a man.

Ygritte – I’m glad that Jon won’t die a virgin.

Sam – you fucktard.  Making Jon Lord Commander was the worst thing you could have done for him.  Although I think you’re right that he was the best man for the job out of the people who were available.  Thank God Janos Slynt is dead.  I hated that asshole.

Tywin Lannister = biggest hypocrite ever.  That kind of surprised me actually. Tyrion wins the “best way to commit patricide” award.

Holy shit Littlefinger.  So you’re the puppet master.  I knew I needed to keep a close eye on you.  I kind of love to hate you.  You need to lay off Sansa though, it’s creeping me out.

I’m pretty much convinced that Coldhands is Benjen Stark.

A Feast for Crows

George, I wish that you had stuck with using chronological order.  Just sayin’.

So who’s the new Pate?  Jaqen H’ghar is my guess.  I can’t wait to find out what he’s up to now.

Brienne is my hero.

Oh Cersei.  Cersei, Cersei, Cersei.  You can talk the talk but you can’t walk the walk.  It’s about time karma bit you in the butt.

Damn, Zombie Catelyn, you’re kinda batshit.

Ok, so Littlefinger is a bit of an enigma to me.  I’m thinking that he transferred his Catelyn obsession over to Sansa and some warped part of him feels like he can screw over every other person in Westeros so long as he takes care of her.  He obviously wants to be king and he’s obviously the master puppeteer in the game of thrones. …. Right?

I don’t have anything nice to say about the Greyjoy’s.  Even Asha has lost her appeal.

I do; however, like Dornish women.

I hope this whole Arya storyline goes somewhere super cool because I’m ready for her to move on.  Which is weird because I actually really look forward to these chapters.  It’s like a different book within the book.  I need the kindly man to teach me some patience.  And I love how Sam keeps running into all the “dead” Stark kids.

A Dance with Dragons

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, George, stop killing everyone I love GDit!!!

Ok Asha, I kind of like you again.

And the recipient of the “character who went through the most crap” award goes to….Tyrion Lannister!  Holy shit dude.  You had, like, 9 lives in this book.

It’s a relief to finally know where Varys stands in this whole thing.

Poor, poor Quentyn.  Yeesh, I feel bad for that kid.  All he wanted was to make his daddy proud and instead he ended up a crispy critter.

It’s about damn time Dany rode Drogon!  That was epic!  What followed was not so epic…

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  Not my Jon!!  And how many times do I have to tell you Stark kids not to leave your direwolves behind?  Ugh.  Littlefinger was right about you lot in that regard.

Season 1 of HBO’s A Game of Thrones

God bless HBO and their penchant for gratuitous nudity.

Director Tim Van Patten’s brother makes my cat’s food.

Robb Stark.  I’d hit that.

Renly’s gay???  That was made up for the show right? Cause I don’t remember getting that impression in the books.  But I guess I just missed it.

From now on, whenever I hear the Johnny Cash song “Ring of Fire” I will have a very distinct picture of Dany in my head.

I probably would have avoided this little experiment

Theon, you don’t look like how I imagined you in the books but I didn’t want to punch your face in right away so you’re a good actor at least.

Jon Snow.  I’d hit that.

That’s a whole lotta penis and vajayjay.  Most were cool but I’m pretty sure I saw Pycelle’s and that was just totally unnecessary.

When you play the game of thrones, either you win or you die. There is no middle ground.

And that wraps up my Game of Thrones wrap up.  Sorry if this gives you an epileptic seizure but I thought it was really cool.