Fun times at ye olde Ren Faire

The crew: HNG, Brett, Hannah, Rob, Jai, Karen, Jason

It’s no secret that I love a good festival. So when my friend Jason told me that a group of friends were going to meet up at a local Renaissance Faire on Saturday I got really excited.

I don’t usually dress up for festivals but the group of friends that I went with does so I threw together an outfit that was as close to Renaissance as I could get based on my limited “I hate shopping” wardrobe.  I’ve always been a tomboy so I tend to avoid skirts and dresses as much as possible, therefore my outfit turned out to be a sort of an androgynous-renaissance-pirate-girl-with a giant sword.  Which kind of makes sense because, let’s face it, if I was alive back in ye olde tymes, I probably would have been the chick that ran away and joined a band of pirates. I’m descended from Vikings afterall.

Speaking of Vikings….we ran into this guy in the food area. When I told him that the Vikings were my people he started talking to me in Norwegian and I had to inform him that I’m lame and don’t speak Norwegian. I did, however, understand that it was Norwegian he was speaking and I understood when he asked me if I was Norwegian, Danish or Swedish and was able to answer him. That seemed to redeem me a little (that, and my Mjolnir necklace) because I got a big smile when he said (in English) that he was also Norwegian and Danish.

This is The Dread Crew of Oddwood, a pirate heavy mahogany band (get it?) They are a festival favorite. I mentioned them in a blog about last year’s VikingFest.

This is The Dread Crew of Oddwood’s drummer crashing through the back of the stage and the chaos that ensued.

Very rock n’ roll of you Mister drummer dude

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a Festival where so many of the people dressed up.

Some of the costumes were quite detailed and/or entertaining.

Which Scottish clan uses giraffe instead of plaid I wonder?

There was a wide variety of costumes, everything from royals to wenches to gypsies to fairies, and lots and lots of pirates. Then there was this totally random biker ninja…

Though we questioned his credibility when he showed up on film.

Hannah found a treasure map on the ground. We got really excited until we realized that there was a list of age-appropriate books about pirates for kids on the back.

We found a guy who makes handmade jewelry and mini poison bottles (he claims that they aren’t meant for poison, but come on, we know better). He made this necklace.

Are you my Mummy?

I kept seeing things that had no real purpose and I started jokingly referring to them as “medieval sex toys.” This is my friend Brett modeling the feather model…

Then we walked into a shop and I saw this leather gizmo and I asked the vendor what it was used for and she straight up told me that it was best used as a sex toy! I KNEW IT! Brett and I got a good laugh out of that one.

Brett was in the market for a stein. He didn’t end up finding one that he liked but he was rather intrigued by this one.

While searching we stumbled on to this old friend. Remember it from this past year’s VikingFest?

Since Brett was the only one of us not in costume, he tried on some accessories.

He decided that he preferred my sword and proceeded to test it out on Jason.

Fearing that I might lose my sword for good, I went looking for alternative weaponry. This pistol was pretty awesome.

But this skull club was even awesomer!

It would have matched my skull earrings. Girls have to thing about things like this.

This guy showed up out of no where and tried to herd us over to a grassy area.

Brett was like”WTF? Stop poking me!” but we wandered over anyway.

We ended up in this pirate-themed area with a lovely “harlot” sign.

Turns out he wanted us to watch his harem of belly dancers.

Then we ran into another pirate and his pi-rat buddy.

I love rats and used to own two named Jadzia and Ezri.

All the pirates inspired us to end the day with a Captain Morgan pose.

They may or may not have been coerced into this by me

It turns out that walking around being awesome makes you hungry so we met our friend Justin at The Money Pit for some post-faire grub.

We felt a little out of place in our corsets and puffy shirts until we saw this lady wearing curlers and a lab coat.

Hope you enjoyed the Ren Faire coverage. It’s late and I’m headed to Long Beach Comic Con in the morning (or, I guess it would be right now since I’ll be posting this in the morning) so I’m gonna make like Friar Tuck here and get some zzz’s.

Look for a report from LBCC on Monday or Tuesday!


  1. Steve Nowak says:

    Your illustrated stories are a hoot. I love em!

  2. That skull club was pretty badass! You could strike fear into the hearts of your enemies before you beat them to a bloody pulp! 🙂

  3. Mark Edwards says:

    You *did* buy that club, right? 😉

    1. hotnerdgirl says:

      Alas, I did not…though I’m definitely having regrets about it…hopefully it’ll be there when we go back in the Spring 😉

  4. Keith says:

    I love Ren Faires’ too, well maybe for a different reason……………was there a cleavage restriction at this one? Keep up the great work, love your musings!

    1. hotnerdgirl says:

      No cleavage restriction and there were definitely a few cases of extreme cleavage! There was one lady in particular who I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that I couldn’t see her nipples. I honestly have no idea how she managed it. She probably thought I was a weirdo cause I kept looking to see how she could possibly be accomplishing what seemed like a magical feat LOL

  5. James C. says:

    I’m not sure if The Tortuga Twins ( ever make it out to the west coast Ren Fests, but if they ever do, you should definitely check them out (the R rated show…trust me).

    1. hotnerdgirl says:

      Hmmm, I’ll have to keep an eye out 😉

  6. bassakwrd says:

    Nice outfit! Easy to see where the ‘hot’ in hotnerdgirl comes from. Oh, and the props as sex toys is not surprising. Ever noticed how almost all the medieval torture devices are now sex toys? Turns out that when you’re not being tortured to death, they can be somewhat enjoyable, and definitely kinky.
    Went to a Medieval Faire in Upper Canada Village this summer with a couple of girls from Columbia that were here on student visas. They were quite impressed, especially when they got to throw axes and such! Afternoon finished off with a jousting tournament on horseback with real armour! Was +35 degrees C. Felt sorry for the jousters AND the horses. Also entertained by a falconer who is working the Hollywood circuit when not doing Faires. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for your Viking brethren next year. Actors were mostly Russians and Ukrainians, searching for a better life. Didn’t have the heart to tell them that they were going backwards (in time), not forwards. Of course the simple life maybe was less stressful, but the lack of showers not so appealing.

    1. hotnerdgirl says:

      Thanks! I wish there had been axe throwing! They do that at the VikingFest but I didn’t see it at the Ren Faire. I see a lot of the same vendors at VikingFest, Highland Games and Ren Faires, I wonder what kind of living they make traveling around and just doing Faires and if it’s fun for them or if they get sick of it after a while.

  7. […] C: Here is my question for you lil missy. The picture of you at Ren Faire, which ren faire was that taken at AND how long have you been doing […]