Pirate Photo Shoot & Contest

HNG Pirate teaser

My birthday is on Sunday (that’s right, I’m a Groundhog baby) and for the past two years I’ve posted a photo shoot to mark the occasion. In 2012 it was Batgirl. Last year it was a superhero character I created named Delilah. This year I decided to whip out my pistol and dress up like a pirate.

Because, let’s face it, Pirates are awesome. Plus, I’m the descendant of Vikings so acting like a Pirate for a day isn’t that far of a stretch. Also, Pirates are awesome.

I always have a lot of fun writing the little stories that go along with the pictures and folks seem to like them so I’ll just keep doing it ๐Ÿ™‚

Whatโ€™s that? You want to win a signed copy of one of these pictures? Ok, fine. Thereโ€™s a contest after the pics.

Well, ahoy there Matey, my name is Captain Tracy.

HNG Pirate 1

Some folks don’t like me being theย Captainย on account of my being a member of the fairerย sex.

HNG Pirate 2

But I don’t really give a damn what they think. Just don’t call me a “wench.”

HNG Pirate 3

No really, you do NOT want to call me a wench.

HNG Pirate 4

I know my way around a sword and I will cut you.

HNG Pirate 5

I’ve been in my share of fights.

HNG Pirate 6

And sent more than a few men to Davy Jones’ locker.ย 

HNG Pirate 7

Let’s just say that I can hold my own with the boys.

HNG Pirate 8

How else do you think I got to be Captain?

HNG Pirate 9

It certainly wasn’t from hitting the bottle.

HNG Pirate 10

And I don’t take shit lying down.

HNG Pirate 11

I’ve got a great sense of humor and can be a bit of a flirt.

HNG Pirate 12

OK, maybe more than a bit at times.

HNG Pirate 13

But when shit gets real…

HNG Pirate 14

I’m all business.

HNG Pirate 15

So don’t let me catch you going after my treasure.

HNG Pirate 16 bw

Because I will not be a happy Captain.

HNG Pirate 17

Now where were we?

HNG Pirate 18

Oh yeah…wanna see my ship? It’s right over there.

HNG Pirate 19

You can come aboard if you promise to behave.

HNG Pirate 20

We can sail off into the sunset in search of adventure!

HNG Pirate 21

Big thanks, as always, to my friend and photographer, Jon Upson. I’m always in awe of what he manages to capture with that camera of his because, trust me, I am NOT a model. Far from it. To Mama Jedi for assisting on yet another photo shoot and for being my biggest cheerleader. To my friend and HNG Podcast co-host Darcy for almost 4 years of constant motivation and support. Seriously, I couldn’t do this without him. To Reba for the lovely watermarks and all of her hard work on the calendars. And to my friend Erika for letting me borrow her “pirate wench hooker boots.” I don’t know how she walks in those, I could barely stand and almost fell over more times than I can count.

Quick announcement: my NerdBFF Geek Outlaw and I are going to have our first booth at a convention! So if you’re in the LA area on February 9th, please come by and say hi. Since we’ve never done this before, we’re testing the waters at a smaller convention, the Los Angeles Comic Book & Science Fiction Convention. I don’t know our booth number yet but I’ll announce it on the facebook page when I find out.


If you want a chance to win a signed print of your choice from this photo shoot, leave a comment below by Tuesday, February 4th at midnight PST. Iโ€™ll pull five names out of a hat and contact you directly if youโ€™re a winner!

AND, since it’s my birthday, one lucky winner will get a signed copy ofย Forging Freedom,ย an anthology I was asked to contribute a sci-fi story to. See my author profile HERE. If you don’t win it but want to check it out you can get it in paperback or on your Kindle HERE.

Want to get me a birthday present? Buy a 2014 calendar! They are a labor of love and any money I make goes right back into making next year’s calendar.ย This 11″ x 11″ 12-month calendar includes every nerdy holiday you can possibly imagine and a convention calendar featuring dates and locations for hundreds of sci-fi, fantasy, comic book, anime, and horror conventions all around the world.

Thanks to everyone who participates!


  1. Kris W says:

    Happy birthday! Great photos!

  2. Andy Baldwin says:

    Ye be the best cap’n by far me lady.

  3. Mark Glascock says:

    Amazing visuals as always! Happy Birthday!

  4. James LePore says:

    Hi Tracy! I would LOVE to win a signed photo! I’m a big fan of all your posts, and hope to one day meet you in person. If you’re ever in Southern Maryland for a convention, I’d love to interview you on my show, The Buzz (many episodes on my fb page if you’re looking for something new to watch one day!) Anyway, keep up the great work – and I hope I win! ๐Ÿ™‚ — James

  5. Rob says:

    You are, as always, “hot!” Happy Birthday!

  6. Rebecca S says:

    Love your pictures and your ever-entertaining page. Live long and prosper ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Tad Hetler says:

    4th from the bottom is my favorite

  8. I especially like the B+W image of you taking no shit and also the last photo … just a shame the top of your cutlass was cropped in it.

  9. Clifford Ball says:

    Ahoy Sweetheart, you are right. Pirates are awesome and you just made then…uh…awesomer ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. Ken Flask says:

    Amazeballs..fun…and it doesn’t hurt that you have a sense of humor and are simply gorgeous HNG!

  11. Larry says:

    Awesome shoot, you of course are lovely as always.

  12. Mark Crowe says:

    I can’t remember who the genius was who first told me about you, but I’m sure glad they did! Awesome photo shoot! Pic #5 and the B+W of you standing with the pistol are two of my faves! Always look forward to seeing what you’re up to next! Cheers from Canada, eh?!

  13. Sean says:

    Great photo shoot. Love this year’s calendar. I was so eager for it to arrive.

  14. Troy says:

    My favorites from the bottom up are 1, 3, 5 & 6. If I win could I have one or all of these? lol

    Live Long & Logic!

  15. Chris beard says:

    Awesome photos as per usual. They seem to be getting better each year.

  16. Jay Ellis says:

    With those boots you can be a pirate any day! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. Caleb says:

    Arrgh me Matey! ๐Ÿ˜€

  18. Marc B says:

    ‘Appy burfday HNG. X

  19. Jason Rownd says:

    Happy Early Birthday!

  20. Kathryn says:

    Lookin’ good Cap’n!

  21. Shane says:

    To a flirty Captain, enjoy surviving another year Captain, ie Happy Birthday

  22. Joe Mondin says:

    Happy Birthday! Great photo shoot! Love the black and white.

  23. Stacy T. says:

    Batten down the hatches… there’s a new Captain on the high seas, and she means business… Happy Birthday, HNG!!

  24. Doug Mills says:

    Happy Birthday.Great photoshoot as always.

  25. John Morris says:

    Happy Birthday! ARdeee ar ar.

  26. Gabe says:

    Great pics. Happy Birthday from a distant trekker.

  27. So this isn’t for talk like a pirate day? Happy birthday to you, anyway!

  28. Joe Hagen says:

    Ahoy & nice pics one who is not a wench! Hope I get picked. Interested in readying your story!

  29. Greg Bennett says:

    Happy Birthday, Tracy! Calendar looks great as always, awesome pics!

  30. Aubrey says:

    Happy birthday. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Great pics.

  31. ja qu says:

    you make one hell of a pirate. that crouched w/ sword outstretched is a great dynamic posture!

  32. Chris Waddell says:

    Pirates are not the surge of the seas. They are the beacon of freedom and democracy; the choice to do what is necessary to balance power. Happy birthday and an excellent job!

  33. Steve says:

    Fantastic photos as always! You are gorgeous! And have a very happy birthday Tracy!

  34. Darryl says:

    Love your FB posts and the photos are great. Haaaaarrrrr!

  35. Nate says:

    Me, I’m dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, ’cause you can never predict if they’re going to do something incredibly stupid.

    Thanks for the great pics, great calendars (2 years and going strong) and overall great nerdiness. Makes me feel like someone as mundane as myself can be proud of my geekiness when I see beautiful people like you baring it for the world to see.

  36. Strider says:

    The black and white shot with the gun to your shoulder is my absolute favorite!!!

  37. Al says:

    Great shoot! Great theme and model. Happy early birthday.

  38. Tracy Whitehead says:

    Great pics! Happy Birthday!

  39. Ken Hall says:

    Early Happy Birthday!!!!!

  40. Wonko the Sane says:

    Great pics! “Always be yourself, unless you can be a pirate, then always be a pirate”

  41. Matt says:

    You look incredible as always amazing shoot happy birthday.

  42. Scott Long says:

    Happy Birthday.

  43. Jim says:

    Love the fun photo shoot! Have a great Birthday!

  44. Nickk says:

    Awesome work! Crossing my fingers!

  45. Kevin Long says:

    Happy birthday! Another great photo set

  46. Jeff says:

    Arrrrrrrrgh…. Me timbers ‘ave never been so shivered matey…. these ‘ere photos are enough to make me slice me own mainbrace…. Certainly don’t mind if I run a shot across ‘er bow….

  47. Josh says:

    Happy Birthday. Great shoot!!

  48. Zachary says:

    Happy Birthday! (I like the B&W crouching sword pic best.)

  49. Karen Thomas says:

    Great photo shoot! You are a model. I always enjoy your posts on Facebook!

  50. Jory says:

    Happy Birthday, Captain Tracy.
    The photo shoot looks great.

  51. Daniel Zaleski says:

    Cheers from Merrie Olde England!

  52. Charles Erickson III says:

    If you hear “I Got You Babe” when you wake up, just go back to bed!!!
    Have a Nerd-Rific Birthday!!!

  53. Happy birthday. The Flying Spaghetti Monster approves of your full pirate regalia. May you be touched his noodly appendage.

  54. Joe says:

    Awesome pics! Happy Birthday Cap’n.

  55. Sean says:

    Happy Birthday and Stunning photos! I hope you have a great day

  56. Alexander Macrae says:

    Amazing photos, great theme and such a pretty lady!

  57. Barry Laabs says:

    Man, those are awesome outfits!! Where can I get them for my wife?

  58. Chris says:

    Happy Birthday! Love the pictures. Sure you aren’t a model? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  59. Paul Wright says:

    A Very Happy Birthday to you Tracy! Lovely pictures as always! I was Lucky to win an autographed picture from your “Babe Lincoln” photo shoot, and I’d love to have one from this shoot to go along with it! I love your podcasts as well!

  60. Lucas says:

    Happy Birthday, great photo shoot!

  61. Joseph rose says:

    Happy Birthday HNG Tracy! Hope it is a great one. Pick me,Pick me! I love thepirate shoot.

  62. Been a Facebook fan for a long time, these photos are amazing! Awesome work. ๐Ÿ™‚

  63. Don says:

    Beautiful shots. Happy B-day!

  64. Michael Clause says:

    Happy Birthday! Great shoot!

  65. Kyle says:

    Great pics keep up the good work

  66. Pat Omandam says:

    It’s a pirate’s life for me!

  67. Steve Kordys says:

    Pirate shoot looks great and Happy Birthday!

  68. Alexandra L. says:

    That final shot is especially stunning; I love your photoshoot tradition! Delilah was a pretty epic photo series, too! Nicely done. It’s so encouraging to see nerdy women expressing themselves in beautiful, playful, and intelligent ways. Thanks for fighting the good fight!

  69. Amanda says:

    Happy birthday! Love knowing that nerds come in all different packaging!! XD

  70. keith pitchley says:

    Why are pirate girls hot ….because they arrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!
    have a great birthday ๐Ÿ™‚ great photos !!

  71. Houston Hines says:

    Happy birthday!!!! Great Photo shoot!

  72. John Burger says:

    Happy Birthday! A swashbuckling pirate in a bustier. There is nothing better.

  73. Jason says:

    Happy Belated Groundhog Baby Birthday!

  74. Jim Egan says:

    Lucky is the matey who sees this captain’s shadow at dawn. Happy Birthday!

  75. David J says:

    In my brain, Captain Tracy in a dress gets a badass sea shanty until the sword comes out, then it switches to the combat score from Pirates of the Caribbean. Captain Tracy in the all black, hell-follows-with-me outfit gets the Firefly theme and is the real Captain Tight Pants.

    Also, happy birthday.

  76. mariano a says:

    great pictures and happy birthday

  77. Steve H says:

    Great photo shoot and Happy Birthday!

  78. Ray says:

    Can I have my photo signed in Bajoran?

  79. Sabi says:

    Awesome shoot!

    I’ll be ordering the calendar when I get home.

  80. Mike Schilling says:

    Happy Birthday yesterday. I hope you had a wonderful day.

  81. Kenn Beck says:

    Happy belated birthday, Cap’n Tracy! You disprove those who think needs cannot be fabulous!

  82. Chris Slayton says:

    Can’t think of a better way to celebrate a birthday! Dressing up in costume, playing with guns and knives? Way awesome! Keep rocking it HNG!

  83. Steve says:

    Can I get mine signed with a lipstick kiss?!?!?!?! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  84. Nick Ghammachi says:

    Happy Birthday!!
    Awesome pictures!
    Permission to come aboard?

  85. Andrew says:

    Where was the shot of you drinking mead? Have you heard of the band Alestorm – pirate themed rock? Happy Birthday! Live long and prosper.

  86. Dave says:

    May the wind be to your back and a bright star to your front, and a Happy B-day to ya.

  87. Tom Satter says:

    Happy birthday! It is wonderful to see such fun captured in these pictures!

  88. William Wideman says:

    This is awesome! I would love to win.

  89. Jason says:

    Great pictures as always. Not just your normal run of the mill look at me pictures, but some action and a story to be told as well.

  90. Steve Nowak says:

    Happy Birthday Tracy! Excellent photos yet again.

  91. Denny McLean says:

    a comment

  92. Phil says:

    Happy Birthday and lovely shoot.

  93. Mike says:

    Arghhh ๐Ÿ™‚

    Happy birthday!

  94. Daniel S says:

    Happy Birthday!

  95. Tate says:

    Happy Birthday!

  96. Dave says:

    Happy Birthday! Love the pics. You are the most attractive pirate I have ever seen!

  97. Ron Hayes says:

    Another awesome shoot- and you ROCK the boots.
    Happy Birthday- Cheers!

  98. Christina says:

    The last pic is my favorite. Love the sun and silhouette. =)

  99. Derek C Newstead says:

    Many Happy Returns of the Day! Follow your heart in this life, and if you have a good heart, your ship will always stay afloat. ๐Ÿ™‚

  100. Many Happy Returns of the Day! If you always follow your heart, and you have a good heart, your ship will always stay afloat.

  101. Court_Jeffster says:

    The eighth photo down. All day, every day.
    Never grow up, never surrender!

  102. Jason says:

    Great photos! Nominated for Pirate Empress.

  103. Anthony Martinez says:

    In it to win it, keep up the terrific work.

  104. Dylan Peden says:

    Yarr Happy Birthday Cap’n! Thanks for all the great things you share on that tangled mass of virtual rigging called the internet! Hope you had a great day and keep on representing us nerds the way you do!

  105. Ken says:

    …..a pirate’s life for me ๐Ÿ˜‰

  106. Wade Alford (@WadeAlford) says:

    Great pics. I have to say I like the pistol outfit the best. Reminded me of Firefly, which is kind of pirate-y I suppose.

  107. Joe G. says:

    I’d have a go at the Captain! ๐Ÿ™‚ No, seriously! Seriously good photos!

  108. Jamie Vick says:

    Shiver me timbers!!! Nice shoot. Happy Birthday!!!

  109. CPT White says:

    I’m an Army Captain IRL, and from one Cap’n to another, your rocked this shoot! I think my soldiers might take orders more readily from you, to be honest. Well done, all the best, and happy birthday!


  110. Mike Gaskins says:

    Love your photos and your Facebook posts. Happy birthday!

  111. Michael says:

    Knock knock knock Arrrrrrr! Knock knock knock Arrrrrrr! Knock knock knock Arrrrrrr!

  112. Scott Boehning says:

    Thanks for all the posts. I always enjoy them. I also look forward to reading your story.

  113. Greetings fellow attractive female nerdist! It is my wish that you shall serendipitously choose my name. I adore you and hope to be receiving an email from you soon.
    Travel lightly
    Queen Katrina the Wise of the Elves and the Horses

  114. Baz says:

    Amazing stuff! I would proudly put this on my wall.

  115. Jim Mixa says:

    Great photos of you. Thank you so much for sharing them with us!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  116. Dustin Dean says:

    Happy Birthday and remember dead men tell no tells!

  117. Terris Harned says:

    Great photos, Tracy! Love the expressions. Some really fierce ones going on there!

  118. Bryan says:

    From one captain (retired) to another – just give me a tall ship and a star to sail ‘er by! Thanks for the great pics!

  119. Lee Marohn says:

    Happy Birthday! Another kickass photo shoot!

  120. Scott says:

    My birthday is the 5th, tomorrow and this would make a great present. Happy Birthday btw.

  121. Brian C says:

    Happy birthday! I hope that it was great and that this year is a wonderful one for you!

  122. Corey Morehead says:

    Happy Birthday! A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!

  123. Markus says:

    Great Shoot! Possibly your best yet. Happy Birthday.

  124. Omar Andrade says:

    I once met a pirate
    A Captain ye’ see
    The greatest of leaders
    A woman she be
    Would win every battle
    Without breaking a sweat
    A beautiful woman
    I could never forget

  125. Pete says:

    Great pics!

  126. Antonio Marra says:

    Avast ye mateys, for she be the fairest lady throughout all the seas!

  127. juan patino says:

    i meant to say happy birthday and enter the contest the day you posted itโ€ฆ. but darn it if work didn’t get in the wayโ€ฆ anyway.. Yarr!!! tharr be pirates after your booty. great photoshoot.

  128. Stephanie says:

    Happy Birthday!! Yours is the same day as my mothers. I hope you made it a special occasion and did something noteworthy. You have such an amazing mind which is worth celbrating. Congrats on your publication and good luck at the convention to you both. I wish I could be there. I would love to get a photo with the both of you. So please, don’t let this be your last booth!!

  129. Jon Holford says:

    Awesome stuff.

  130. Jim Turner says:

    Awesome as always! Looks like you & Jon put a lot of thought & work into this! I like #8, #17, & #19 the best!

  131. Dean says:

    Happy Birthday Tracy and good luck in all you do. I hope it includes me!

  132. Tarlac says:

    Great Pics… and Happy B. Day!!

  133. Christopher Antee says:

    Best photo shoot yet. Happy belated birthday and don’t ever stop being you!

  134. P Agarwal says:

    qoSlIj DatIvjaj, Nerd Girl!

  135. Allen Gregg says:

    Happy late birthday! And thank you for showing the sexy side of nerdom. Always appreciate your posts and photos, you make life better.

  136. John says:

    Awesome photos! Hard to choose a favorite, but number 13 is mine. Hope you had a great birthday!!

  137. Steven Butler says:

    cool photos

  138. I Sagan Glover says:

    Good to see true sci-fi fandom and not some quasi geekdom played out like others!

  139. Kenn Smith says:

    Today is my birthday! Yay us!

  140. Adam Whitten says:

    Lovely photo shoot. Both you and the photographer were really on your game with it.

  141. Roger Moore says:

    As always great pics!

  142. Super Dean says:

    Insert interesting comment here. ๐Ÿ™‚

  143. Ron says:

    The photos turned out great, Happy Birthday!

  144. Samantha says:

    You are an inspiration to me. I wear the label nerd proudly in front of me now as opposed to keeping to myself and I couldn’t be happier!! NERD ON!

  145. Jeff says:

    Great pics, and Happy Birthday!!!!

  146. Dale Applegate says:

    I want to win.

  147. Branodn S says:

    “You can come aboard if you promise to behave.” ~fav

  148. WESLEY says:

    So great to see you doing this ๐Ÿ™‚

  149. WC says:

    Happy birthday. And stuff.

  150. Adrian Secrist says:

    Happy belated birthday beautiful lady! As always another amazing photo shoot.keep up the great work

  151. Todd Basil says:

    I love all of your pics and the story behind them. Good work and keep it going!

  152. Jake says:

    You’re the one true hot nerd girl!

  153. Pete says:

    You are awesome ๐Ÿ™‚

  154. Mark Lukens says:

    Please don’t wait for another birthday to be a pirate again.

  155. Dee Norton says:

    Very nice. Love your work and your calendar. Happy birthday!

  156. Mike Gower says:

    Looking great as always! HNG forever!

    1. Mike Gower says:

      Happy Birthday I buy ye a grog or 3 if I was in port argh! ๐Ÿ™‚

  157. William LaChapelle says:

    From one Viking to another I have to say ” ooooh! Me! Pick me! Mememe! “.


  158. Batty says:

    Would it be bad if I said I’d die to have a personalized autograph?
    The pirate get-up still speaks to the Star Wars geek in me.
    I just see you saying, “Yaaar, mateys, make’em walk the airlock!”


  159. Tim Kudlacik says:

    What an awesome photo set! And I love the story with them.

    Happy Birthday!

  160. Dean Freidline says:


  161. Joe Fourman says:


  162. princess says:

    You are neat. ๐Ÿ™‚

  163. Tim says:

    “Hook” me up with some pics!!


  164. Tom Farrell says:

    Looking good Tracy! I really enjoy all of your postings. I sometimes miss your references, but I love googling them afterwards. Cheers. Tom

  165. Joseph says:

    Very good photos!

  166. Mac Jean says:

    But what would Captain Tracey do if she discovered it was Tinkerbell who was poking about her loot? Could an understanding be reached and Neverland become home to kickass pirates of all genders?

    Great shoot and many congratulations your publication. As a lurker of this blog I do not often comment, but I always enjoy your writing!

  167. Fantastic pics! And Happy birthday for Sunday! ๐Ÿ™‚

  168. Paul says:

    Love the photoshoot … Good job!
    Save a ship, ride a pirate!!!

  169. Eric Petersen says:

    Great pics!

  170. Dan Weber says:

    You are one of the most beautiful women on the internet!!!

  171. Mike says:

    It’s not fair. How am I supposed to concentrate on work after ogling your hot photos???

  172. Mark says:

    You look so amazing! Happy Belated birthday

  173. Russell Therrien says:

    Thanks for being such a staid and stable represent…ah, who am I kidding? ROCK ON girl.