My birthday present to you…a Batgirl photoshoot!

HNG Batgirl comic

Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh – BATGIRL!

Tomorrow is my birthday (don’t even bother asking, I’m not going to tell you how old I am) so I decided to give YOU, my awesome readers, a gift for sticking with me for the past year and a half.

I wrote a little story to go along with the pictures…sort of a pseudo-comic if you will.  I hope you enjoy it.

Oh, and please feel free to thank me for putting my friend into my Slave Leia costume.  I figured that if I have to rescue a damsel in distress, she might as well be scantily clad and amazingly hot.  Just looking out for you my friends.

Anyhooters, here goes:

The night is dark. Dark and dangerous. A lone heroine stalks the night keeping an eye out for trouble.

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She climbs over the rooftops, lithe and agile. She watches and waits.

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A scream tears through the silence.  Someone is in trouble!

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Oh no! A thug has a helpless damsel in distress in his grips!

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The thug eyes her skeptically. He doesn’t see her as a threat. He has made a horrible mistake.

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She shows him her mean right hook!

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The thug is stunned and doesn’t see it coming when she plants her totally practical stiletto boot square in his chest!

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HNG prevails. 

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The streets are safe once again.  At least for now…

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Don’t worry fair maiden, HNG will always be here to keep you safe.

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To the victor goes the spoils…wait…I mean, allow me to escort you home fair maiden…

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HNG takes to the rooftops once more.

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A Superhero’s work is never done.

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Bad guys beware: she’ll be watching. And waiting. And looking hot while doing it so don’t get any ideas buster.

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A HUGE thank you to Jon Upson for taking such amazing pictures (check out his website here) and to Darcy and Joy for joining in on the HNG shenanigans (as Jon would say).

I saw The Green Lantern on the brightest screen, in the blackest theatre

After a weekend hiatus from writing movie reviews to visit Kirk’s birthplace (oh and go to my cousins wedding), I’m back on the horse with one of the summers most anticipated comic book movies The Green Lantern.

(Side note: if you were hoping I’d review Super 8 this past Monday, have no fear.  I’m planning to see it at some crazy new theatre with D-Box seats on Wednesday night so, if I do, I’ll put something together for Thursday or Friday.)

I was stoked to see DC bring Ryan Reynolds’ abs to their comic universe. Wait….. no, I’ll stick with abs 🙂

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Wrong movie, you say? Ask me how much I care.

As you know, I spend a good amount of my time grading comic book movies on how successful they are with staying true to the content of their origins. The problem this time is that I don’t really know a whole lot about Green Lantern aside from the fact that I live in Sector 2814 (*cue me hanging my head in nerdy shame*).  So this review is going to get filled in with some good ol’ fashioned fun movie judging. Sit back, relax, and see why I thought The Green Lantern was kind of a middling movie.

SPOILERS AHEAD

I want to kick this off by saying that I love Ryan Reynolds’ abs… I mean acting. Damn. I’ll fix that I swear. He has boyish good looks, a wry smile and a charming charisma that even you boys can say you like without sounding too gay. IMHO he’s got a kind of Nathan Fillion-esque quality to him. Maybe it’s the water that they give those boys in Canada? Who knows. He pulls off the action sequences quite well, and even the more touching scenes between him and Blake Lively are pretty decent.

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"See what they did with my hair in this scene? It means that while I'm sexy and girly, I can still fly a plane."

The main problem for me is that Ryan seems to lack a real dark side. Perhaps it’s just his innocence-exuding face but when he uttered the line “Because I’m afraid” I just didn’t buy it. No one else in the theater did either. That might just be him or the fact that I had no idea what he was afraid of. I might have missed it, but he’s a fighter pilot that has no problem launching his jet into the outer reaches of the atmosphere before tumbling back to earth but he’s afraid of… dying? That just seemed odd. And once he overcame his fear it felt very much like “Ok, well, that was nice, now I’m going to kick your ass.” It never had quite the gusto that Christian Bale had in Batman Begins. Uhh, sorry every comic book movie made after 2005, but you sort of have to live up to Christopher Nolan’s genius. Suck it, k? Cause you do.

Which, let’s be honest, is incredibly difficult to do with this content. These are characters that have a ton of back story that needs to be filled in, from the Lantern Corps, their home planet Oa, and the Guardians that created it, you’ve got a lot that you’re asking the average movie goer to swallow.  Trying to include a giant backstory in a very short period of time can be done very successfully if you dumb it down enough (see: Star Trek 2009) or less successfully if it is hurried through at the beginning (see: Serenity). This one took the later approach and honestly, nerd to nerd, I was just mildly lost. I don’t really know any major Green Lantern fans so there was no one around to help smooth out the rough edges for me. It seemed to just cruise through certain relationships without developing them when I really wish it had.

Moving on to the special effects…I was fairly impressed with them. Oa was awesome, the Green Lantern suit was amazing (despite what anyone might say). I even enjoyed Blake Lively. I guess what I’m saying is that I wish a bit more time had been spent mainstreaming this movie for audiences. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I felt like a lot of stuff went over people’s heads. Everyone I went with walked out kind of saying “meh.”  It did make me want to spend some time reading more of the Green Lantern comic books though, so it had that going for it.  I have my hopes pinned on the next movie, if they do one. At the very least, I look forward to Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool if that one comes together.

It’ll have abs in it…right?

Sci Five 2.5