Lucky 13: Maxim’s Hot Nerd Women of 2013

MAXIM_HOT_100_Nerd Girl 13

Every year I assign myself an extremely strenuous assignment…go through Maxim’s Hot 100 List and pick out the 13 nerd-worthiest ladies (is nerd-worthiest even a word? Did I just coin that?) It’s a tough job but someone has to do it and I suppose that someone might as well be me.

The things I do for you all… 😉

I never repeat the same ladies two years in a row so this year I’m sad to say that Rebecca Mader, Kat Dennings, Stana Katic, Yvonne Strahovski, Adrianne Palicki, Kaley Cuoco, Charlize Theron, Kate Beckinsale, and Jennifer Lawrence from 2012’s list will have to sit this one out. However, I never said I wouldn’t repeat from past years so some of the hotties featured in 2011’s list are making a comeback.

My first run-through narrowed the list down to 39. The second attempt got me down to 18. Third time was the charm and I settled on the 13 you see below.

Just like in years past, I did not choose the women on this list, I just narrowed them down. Had I chosen, Felicia Day, Rose Leslie, Hayley Atwell, Natalie Dormer, and Natalie Portman (amongst others) would all be on here. I’ll be rooting for them next year.

Note: the order in which they are presented is the order Maxim put them in.  So don’t go blaming me if the ones you like are further down the totem pole.

My #13 – Their #97. Daniella Alonso

This sexy rebel knows how to blow your mind and blow you up. She also has an impressive list of horror films under her belt.

My #12 – Their #95. Zooey Deschanel

This New Girl is the ultimate dork and I love her so much for it. She’s awkward and silly and is completely unapologetic about it. And she was Jovie, Trillian, AND Ms. Edmunds so, you know, she’s got that going for her.

My #11 – Their #84. Alice Eve

Dr. Carol Marcus just got a whole lot hotter. She’s in Star Trek. Nothing else matters.

My #10 – Their #77. Janina Gavankar

This sultry shapeshifter gets to roll around in the dirt with Sam Merlotte. I’m a tid bit jealous about that.

My #9 – Their #65. Emilia Clarke

This dragon mama should be way higher up the list IMHO. I mean seriously, look at her, she’s beyond gorgeous. And she’s a brunette who can pull off a platinum blonde wig. As a fellow brunette, I know exactly how hard that is.

My #8 – Their #48. Nina Dobrev

A vampire vixen sandwiched between two hottie brothers who are constantly fighting for her sweet lady kisses. Can you blame them?

My #7 – Their #38. Zoe Saldana

I personally think that Miss Saldana is one of the pertiest people on the planet. I’m a former dancer so she first caught my eye as the bitchy (in a good way) ballerina in Center Stage. Then she went and got herself cast as Uhura and sealed the deal.

My #6 – Their #29. Olivia Munn

I don’t know what it is about Miss Munn but I’ve always liked her. Maybe it’s because she says it like it is and she’s not afraid to be herself even though she seems to be afraid all the time. I can relate to her. Also, her recent guest turn on New Girl was amazing.

My #5 – Their #21. Emma Stone

I love funny women and Emma has comedic timing to spare. She’s making out with Spider-Man both on screen and in real-life and that just seems like way too much good fortune for one little lady. Also, I want her on my Zombie Apocalypse Annihilation Team (ZAAT). I can think of no greater honor.

My #4 – Their #19. Emma Watson

This little witch is all grown up and showing us that it’s ok to be a wallflower. Super smart in real life, she’s proving to be a great role model to girls who would otherwise idolize actresses with far less class.

My #3 – Their #17. Jessica Alba

I wasn’t always a fan of Miss Alba but she’s grown on me over the years and I’m sure her role as a stripper in Sin City had absolutely nothing to do with it… *ahem*… Plus, I’ve almost forgiven everyone who was involved in the Fantastic Four movies. Almost.

My #2 – Their #15. Scarlett Johansson

One of the things I love about ScarJo is that she’s got curves and she knows how to use them. She’s not a twig like some other Hollywood starlets and she seems to be just fine with that. Her confidence is infectious. She shines as Black Widow, the lone (so far) female team member in the movie version of The Avengers, and will be reprising her role in Captain America: The Winter Soldier next year.

My #1 – Their #4. Mila Kunis

This supposedly “wicked witch” graciously accepted a date to the Marine Corps Ball when asked (in a stunning display of balls by Sgt. Scott Moore). A move that made this funny lady even hotter, something I didn’t even know was possible.

That’s it for this list. Until next year, this is HNG signing off.

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Don’t forget to buy a calendar! It’s got every nerdy holiday you can imagine, plus a super handy convention calendar, and some never-before-seen pictures that will never, ever be seen anywhere else. I know it’s May but it’s worth it to get the 2013 calendar. Besides, if I don’t sell these, then there probably won’t be one next year so, ya know…buy one :) Since it’s May, they’re super discounted (I promise you I’m not making a fortune off of them) and the price includes taxes and shipping within the US (if you live outside of the US than email me at AND I’ll sign it if you want.

Lucky 13: Maxim’s Hot Nerd Women of 2012

Normally this post would have come out right after the list was announced as it did last year. However, this has been a crazy busy Summer and I just spent 2.5 weeks in New York helping to take care of my two nieces. In short, I’ve had very little free time.

Better late than never, right?

Maxim recently came out with their list of the 100 hottest women in the world and, like last year, I felt it was my duty to whittle the list down to the most nerd-worthy. What I call the Lucky 13.

Let me tell you, writing this blog is really tough sometimes.

For the sake of fresh blood, I’m not putting any repeats in my 13. So if they were on the list last year they’re going to have to settle for an honorable mention.  Those delectable women include: Christina Hendricks, Zoe Saldana, Ashley Greene, Emma Watson, Scarlett Johanson, Emma Stone, Olivia Wilde, and Olivia Munn. Believe me, it is painful for me to leave them off this list but I don’t want to list the same people over and over again every year. Where would the fun be in that?

Another special mention goes to Stephen Colbert #69 (of course)…as far as I know, the only man to ever find himself on this list.

Note: the order they are presented in was Maxim’s decision, not mine.  So don’t go blaming me if the ones you like are further down the totem pole.

My #13 – Their #97. Kat Dennings

She tasered my boyfr – I mean Thor and was totally unapologetic about it. That takes balls. Oh, and she’s got a wicked sense of humor and the comedic timing to back it up.

My #12 – Their #94. Alexandra Breckinridge

She serviced vampires (in more ways than one) and the inhabitants of a haunted house (in more ways than one). Let’s just say that she’s exceptionally talented (in more ways than one).

My #11 – Their #80. Stana Katic

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with Castle and that’s not just because of the man who plays Castle. People say we look alike. I don’t see it but I’ll take it as a compliment thankyouverymuch.

My #10 – Their #76. Teresa Palmer

She’s dated a sorcerer, been suffocated by hair, killed a crapload of Mogadorians and is soon to be the love interest of a zombie. Is there anything this girl can’t do?

My #9 – Their #67. Rebecca Mader

Not even Time knows what to do with this fiery red head. She’s loyal to Leonard Nimoy so she’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

My #8 – Their #65. Cobie Smulders

It takes an amazing woman to hold her own in a room full of superheroes and master spies. Cobie survived an implosion and an explosion and came up swinging. Well done, Agent Hill, well done.

My #7 – Their #61. Kristen Bell

I’m a little biased when it comes to Miss Bell. She graduated from the same little Catholic High School in Michigan that my Dad attended. She always struck me as the nerdy type and I sympathized greatly with her Fanboys character.

My #6 – Their #35. Yvonne Strahovski

She couldn’t resist the lure of the nerd she was protecting. I told you there was hope for nerds everywhere.

My #5 – Their #22. Kaley Cuoco

Aaaaand another hot chick attracted to the herd of nerd. Kaley and Yvonne even kind of look alike. Think we can convince them to be the blonde bread in a nerd sandwich?

My #4 – Their #16. Charlize Theron

Charlize has done loads of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy films. She’s so beautiful that she’s not afraid to ugly herself up for a role. She’s pretty much the perfect woman.

My #3 – Their #12. Kate Beckinsale

Quite possibly the hottest vampire ever. For such a tiny little thing she makes a very convincing assassin. She’s about to demonstrate that again, this time on Mars.

My #2 – Their #10. Adrianne Palicki

She gave birth to the second coming of Christ, became a Real American Hero and was Wonder Woman for about 2 minutes. Even though the costume sucked I’m still kind of upset that whole WW thing didn’t pan out.

My #1 – Their #6. Jennifer Lawrence

This girl stuck a big ol’ cupids arrow in our hearts when she took on the role of Miss Everdeen.  Oh, and she got naked and painted herself blue. All for us. We’re such lucky bastards.

Until next year, this is HNG signing off.