Guest Review! Cowboys & Aliens!

As y’all know (I may have mentioned it once or thrice) I’m in the process of moving to San Diego and my life is in limbo while I finish up my work in Los Angeles.  Therefore, my BNF (Best Nerd Friend) Hayden and his lovely girlfriend, fellow HNG Melanie, were kind enough to go see Cowboys & Aliens this weekend and write not one but TWO reviews of it as guest bloggers.  H&M…I heart you.

Enjoy!

cowboys and aliens

Aliens.  Why’d it have to be Aliens?

Hayden Gilbert:

New Indy - croppedLet me start by saying there is no way I will be able to fill the shoes – or brazier – of the now legendary Hot Nerd Girl (although my fellow co-guest blogger Melanie definitely has a better shot in both departments).  However, while I don’t consider myself hot (in my own eyes), nor a girl (hopefully in anyone’s eyes), I can certifiably attest to being a nerd.

I can also say without hesitation that I’m quite an avid western lover and a huge fan of anything involving visitors from another world (the cast of Jersey Shore being the exception).  Taking all that into account, I would have been first in line to see any movie with the title “Cowboys & Aliens” trailer unseen.

As my very attractive co-blogger mentions as well, everything about this movie has a simple theme to it.  From the title itself to the premise of good ol’ fashion gunslingers taking on technologically superior creatures, Cowboys & Aliens succeeds in that it doesn’t try to be more than what it is:  A good old fashion shootout at the O.K. Corral with 10 foot tall slimy monsters that make the aliens from the Predator movies look like runway models.  Hell, what’s not to like about aliens who also lasso their victims!  Great stuff I tells ya.

[youtube:http://youtu.be/UdmupNxobP0]

While the acting overall was not quite award caliber, I actually liked the lack of over-the-top dramatics when it dealt with the reactions of humans to their unknown invaders.  Think about it, people during this time didn’t have clue one about space people or flying saucers as this takes place during a time when horses were the main source of transport and showing ankle was considered scantily clad.

olivia-wilde-cowboys-aliens

Hot girl with a six shooter? Yes please.

Speaking of, seeing Olivia Wilde completely wrapped up in a piece of wallpaper during the whole movie was a waste of her, uh, talents.  The nude scene of her would have made up for it had they actually showed anything of value.  Did I mention I was a male nerd?

As can be imagined, Harrison Ford stole the show in this one.  Be it a quick line or a familiar facial reaction, your attention is always drawn to his screen presence.  Daniel Craig served his purpose of bad ass alien annihilator (say that 10 times fast after 10 shots of whiskey), albeit his character wasn’t given any major Shakespearean dialogue to work with.  I also enjoyed the 2 – maybe more? – nods given to Indian Jones in the flick.  Can you spot them?  (Hint:  It’s 007 that summons the spirit of Indy twice)

Overall, C&A was a fun and unique ride on the combination of two classic genres.  Add a pinch of 007 and a dash of Indy with a kick-ass final scene that would make any western-lover happy and you have a flick that is almost sure to satisfy.  Just remember to check your 6-shooter and expectations at the door.

(P.S. For those Nerdboys like myself that need an additional fixen of Western Sci-Fi, be sure to check out Brisco Country Jr on DVD… best show ‘cancelled-too-soon’ ever!  Has Bruce Campbell ever done anything bad?)

Melanie Critser:

Brace yourself.  There are cowboys AND aliens in this movie!  And a cast of hot men and women that only get hotter when plastered in dirt.  Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig together at last…with Craig getting more ass shots in one movie than JLo has gotten in her entire career.  And don’t worry, men, Olivia Wilde doesn’t disappoint—especially as she emerges from fire…naked.  But this movie isn’t all fun and games—oh wait, yeah it is!

Cowboys & Aliens is everything the title promises.  The story is simple.  Our planet has an element the aliens want.  They are here to scout out the planet and give the “mother-ship” the thumbs up to “come on down.”  It’s all up to the Cowboys and Indians to stop them…seriously, was anyone expecting an Oscar nominee?  It makes no apologies for its campiness!  There were moments that had heart and moments that almost made me cheer.

What? No speedo's in the Old West?

I wasn’t crazy about the aliens themselves, but I suppose that was the point.  They had creepy little extra hands that unfold out of their bellies, all slimy and shaky–yuck!  Also, where was the steamy love scene?  I felt a bit cheated in this area.  I can’t imagine what possessed them to leave that out—in the words of Flight of the Conchords, conditions were perfect for “Business Time.”  To no avail…

Daniel Craig was sporting his 007 seriousness, just substitute a clean shave and tux for dried blood and cowboy gear.  The bad-ass side of Daniel Craig hits the spot, no one wants to watch him skipping through a flower field—bring on the guns!

Harrison Ford’s role was the most intriguing.  Is he a bad guy?  Is he a good guy?  Regardless, he can still deliver those hilarious one liners.  And you may struggle with whether he’s The Good or The Bad..but he’s never The Ugly.  He clearly hasn’t lost his charm on screen and he’s giving Sean Connery a run for his money in the “Better with Age” department.

Overall, I don’t expect this movie to be on any top 10 (or 100) lists, but I truly enjoyed it.  Perhaps my expectations were right where they needed to be–I jumped in my seat and laughed at the cheesiness.  It was just the boost my summer needed!

You can read Hayden’s online dating advice (it worked for him!) at Examiner.com.  Melanie doesn’t have a blog so you’ll just have to hope she guest writes for HNG again.  Like what they wrote?  Let them know in the comments!

10 Hottest Babes of Sci-Fi

There is nothing quite like seeing a hot chick in a hot outfit kicking some alien ass. Maybe it’s the funky hairdos, or the skin tight outfits, or the technobabble being spoken by a pair of ruby red lips. I don’t know, but can you honestly tell me that there’s anything greater? Honestly.

Honestly.

I didn’t think so.

So in honor of these bodacious, bad ass, and brilliant babes (cause brains are important too), here’s my list of the top 10 hottest babes in Sci-Fi.

You’re welcome.

10. Nichelle Nichols

uhuracover_smShe wasn’t the first sci-fi babe but she’s the earliest one on the list and she has the distinction of having broken down several racial barriers as Uhura. Not only was she a main character on a television show who was black (and a female), but she participated in the first ever inter-racial kiss on television in the Star Trek episode “Plato’s Stepchildren.” Of course, they had to make the kiss forced by aliens to get it past the censors but it was a step in the right direction. When the pressure became too much and she was tempted to quit, none other than Martin Luther King Jr himself convinced her to stay on the show. On a personal note, I’ve met her and she’s AWESOME.

9. Carrie-Anne Moss

Carrie-Anne-Moss-Trinity

She wears skin tight leather while kicking some serious ass. Having worn skin tight leather I can tell you exactly how difficult that is. Her main claim to sci-fi fame is the Matrix trilogy (we’ll stick with the first one, shall we?) It’s a movie that revolutionized film making, CGI, story telling, you name it. Some people dig Neo, I dig Trinity. I even dig her slicked back hair which is not something I usually go for (*cough* Jamie Lee Curtis *cough* True Lies *cough) I can think of a couple of trinities involving Carrie-Anne that I wouldn’t mind being a part of.

8. Linda Hamilton

linda hamilton terminator 2

Holy craparoni Batman, talk about ripped. The then Mrs. Cameron worked out like a maniac to prep for her role in Terminator 2: Judgment Day showing a grit and self-discipline totally befitting her character. Any woman who can break out of a maximum security facility with a broom stick and a hypodermic needle deserves kudos in my book. And a giant underground storage bunker full of weapons? Yes please! Very few women look hot with a cigarette hanging out of their mouths. Linda Hamilton is one of them.

7. Sigourney Weaver

weaver final

From ripped to Ripley, Sigourney is another bad ass chick with a chip on her shoulder. She may fight aliens instead of robots but, like Sarah Connor, Ellen Ripley keeps coming back for more. She’s also managed to solidify her place in sci-fi history with a couple of other franchises in the form of Ghostbusters and Avatar (personally my favorite character in the movie). After all of that, how could she possibly endear herself to me even more? Oh, I dunno, maybe by starring in one of my very favorite movies ever, GALAXY QUEST. Never give up, never surrender Sigourney. We need you.

6. Famke Janssen

Famke Janssen

Genre-wise most people automatically think of X-Men when they think of Miss Famke and I know I’m walking a fine line here since technically X-Men is a comic book movie, not a sci-fi movie *semi-colon however comma* she’s got some sci-fi cred of her very own. Ok, yes, she is a Bond girl but I’m not referring to that either. Let’s go back about 18 years and remember a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode called “The Perfect Mate” in which Famke played Kamala, an alien that looks kind of like a Trill before we knew what Trill’s were. Kamala is biologically created to become the perfect mate for the person she bonds with. As in, loves football and beer and giving blowjobs.  You name it, she’s on it.  The perfect woman. For this role alone she deserves a place on this list.

5. Milla Jovovich

milla jovovich

Another ass kicker. God I love a woman who can kick some ass. In The 5th Element, Leeloo wore little more than some first aid tape and a bright orange ‘do. It matched Bruce Willis’ bright orange spandex wife beater and I’m pretty sure he saw that as a sign of fate. I know I would. Resident Evil has zombies in it.  I may have mentioned once or twice before that I don’t much care for zombies (stoopid nightmares).  I’ve seen the first movie but none of the sequels.  Anyone who kills zombies is a-ok with me.

4. Marina Sirtis (see also Gates McFadden, Terry Farrell, Nana Visitor, Jeri Ryan)

The Sexy Sirens of Star Trek television. There are many of them and they are all pertiful. However, we’re going to focus on the utterly divine Deanna Troi for the purposes of this list. Originally introduced wearing a traditional lady’s uniform complete with a short hemline (ala Uhura) it was decided after oh, about 2 episodes, that her best assets were a little higher up on her body. Therefore, she became the one and only Starfleet officer ever permitted to not only ditch the uniform but wear cleavage-tastic outfits in lieu of said uniform. Much as it would inspire the troops, I just can’t see the USMC permitting such a thing. Only for Troi was the rule book thrown out. Plus I’ve heard that she cusses like a sailor with her awesome British accent. LOVE her. On a personal note, my brother married a girl named Troi which automatically knocked him up a few notches in my book. Jealous much? You should be, cause she’s AWESOME.

3. Zoe Saldana

Zoe Saldana

I danced for 15 years, and really, it’s how the “Hot” in “Hot Nerd Girl” got there. So I first fell in love with Miss Zoe when she was in the movie Center Stage about a ballet school in NYC. Since then she has become something of a sci-fi “It Girl” with her roles in the new Star Trek movie (soon to be franchise) and Avatar movie (soon to be franchise). An admitted sci-fi geek, she’s not afraid to challenge herself and take on larger than life roles. Oh, and she’s HAWT. She’s got that going for her.

2. Olivia Wilde

Olivia Wilde

The sci-fi “It Girl” of the not so distant future. Here’s a girl who has yet to be seen on screen in a sci-fi film. All of that will change on December 17th when Tron: Legacy comes out. In a way she’s replacing Cindy Morgan’s Yori with her Quorra and that’s just fine with me. She gets to sport a normal (if slightly Mia Wallace-esque) hairdo instead of a day-glo bald cap which I’m sure she’s pretty dang stoked about. But that’s not all folks. In the works are Cowboys & Aliens with Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford and Now with Amanda Seyfried and Cillian Murphy, both of which look extremely promising. Sci-fi “It Girl” of the future. You heard it here first.

1. Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher

If I didn’t put Princess Leia at the top of the list I’m pretty sure there would be a nerd uprising and I would have my HNG status revoked. If there’s anyone on this planet that can pull off a bronze bikini better than Carrie Fisher circa 1983, I have yet to see them. Star Wars is an iconic film, one that I watched over and over and over again growing up. Part of it was the Ewoks (soooo cute!) and part of it was the fact that I would have given my left pinkie toe to be Princess Leia, cinnabon hairdo and all.

And here’s how you can make it happen! A basic Princess Leia costume goes for about $50.  If I can get enough people to donate up to that amount, I’ll do a photo shoot and post it on the site! So donate below and let’s get this photo shoot happening!

Get me in a gold bikini NOW!

My Sarah Connor impression...uh...if she were to wear heels...which she would never do...meh.