Firefly and Beer and All Things Good

Remember this pretty lady? We went to college together at San Francisco State and she’s put together a kick ass guest blog for you today.  So without further ado, heeeeeeere’s Vivian!

Hello, nerds of the internet! Guest nerd girl here, because ya know what? It turns out there are loads of us! That’s right, many of us may still hide our Star Trek box sets and take down our autographed Watchmen posters when boys are coming over, but trust me, our numbers are great and our will is strong. So I’m coming out to the world (the world-wide web, even) and saying YES, I AM A NERD.

I enjoy so many nerdy things. I grew up on Star Trek and the Cruise-less Mission Impossible series. My first love triangle was trying to choose between Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell. I love X-Men and Shakespeare and young adult books set in space (or wizarding academies). My nerd interests are deep and vast (*dirty*). However, there is one passion that surpasses them all, and I would like to share it with all of you.

In fact, I have a confession to make. I have an addiction. It’s powerful, and at times it dominates my entire life. I am addicted… to Firefly.

Now I know I’m not alone in this, that there are many in my ranks, and that offers me a degree of comfort. Still, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to shake this need to have Serenity and it’s crew in my life. (Full disclosure: I’ve never tried to shake this need. But I’m pretty sure that if I ever did, it would be completely futile. So I don’t.) This sickness infects both my work life (my senior year of undergrad I wrote a final film studies paper on Serenity. My professor was not as taken as I was.) and my personal life. When surrounded by a new group of people, I will almost always eventually sneak a Firefly reference into the conversation and do a quick scan. The person whose eyes light up: my new friend. No reaction: boring times ahead.

Oh, this old jumpsuit? I just throw it on when I don't know what to wear.

And, fellow nerdy internetians, I have another love. Beer. Everyone has their thing. Some people juggle geese. *quick scan* As for me, there are few things in this world that I love more than a good beer. You can call me pretentious (please don’t), but I live in Los Angeles, and that means I am constantly aWash (see what I did there?) in an endless supply of “craft” “artisanal” delights. And as I’ve always said, why do a thing when you could do that thing while also drinking beer? (Ok, it’s not the most eloquent motto, but it’s never failed me.) So, in that spirit, I would like to present to you my Firefly drinking game. So put on your brownest coat and pour yourself a tall Mudders Milk. Just enjoy responsibly, like the big damn heroes I know you are.

Down to business. Let's be bad guys.

The Rules

Drink when:

Someone speaks in Chinese. Or, really, any language other than English. I tend to assume it’s Chinese. Is that racist?

A fight breaks out. This can range from someone getting hit once to a full-out brawl. Originally I had this down as any time a punch is thrown, but as such the opening scene of the Train Job would get you pretty gorram punch-drunk.

There is an exterior shot of Serenity. (Drink twice if there’s a shot of a shuttle detaching.)

DRINK!

Jayne caresses a weapon.

I'll be in my bunk.

Inara kicks Mal out of her shuttle.

River cries/cowers/tears her hair. Poor, crazy River.

There’s mention of Terraforming. Drink twice if it’s talk of terraforming side effects.

Anyone says “Shiny.”

This face? Totally shiny.

Wash’s dinosaurs are on-screen. This happens more than you may think. Keep an eye on his console any time there’s a scene in the cockpit. Is it called a cockpit in a spacecraft? I don’t know, I’m a nerd, not a flight technician. Anyway, back to the game…

Mine is an evil laugh!

There’s a mysterious reference to Shepard Book’s past that WILL NEVER BE ANSWERED EVER. (Well, except in that one-off comic. That was pretty cool.)

Wash and Zoe have sexy times. This can include kissing/flirting/simultaneous nudity.

Everyone is gathered in the kitchen. (I usually exclude River from “everyone,” as she’s more often than not off somewhere else cowering and crying. *see earlier rule.)

Specialty Rules

Take a shot when the blue gloves show up. Not one shot per glove, mind you. Two by two… by my math, that’s a lot of shots.

My favorite: BLUE SUN! When someone sees the Blue Sun logo (anywhere, on anything), they point at the screen and yell “BLUE SUN!” Everyone else takes a shot. The pointing and yelling is not really necessary, but mainly involuntary because you’re drunk and excitable. What? Is that just me?

There's one! I see it! Everyone drink!

As I play this game I also tend to take a drink for my favorite moments. This isn’t really a rule, per se, but I find it hard not to raise a glass to Kaylee calling Mal “Cap’n Tight Pants” or Jayne’s “That’s why I never kiss ‘em on the mouth.” So there’s the optional rule of “drink for awesome stuff.”

When Kaylee talks about her nethers, you obviously drink.

Whaddaya think, fellow nerds? These are my favorite rules, though by no means all of them. Any ideas for additional ones? Thanks for letting me share this with you. Nerd girls of the world ‘VERSE unite!