How to tell the difference between Cally and Kaylee

Yah, yah.

I am aware of the fact that I’ve been writing an awful lot about Firefly and Battlestar Galactica lately.  There are two reasons for this:
 
1. I recently purchased every season of BSG and am treating myself to a personal marathon.
 
2. My Mom just had surgery and, as her weekend nurse I decided that, in my expert medical opinion, a Firefly marathon was necessary to her recovery.

(I may aso be mourning the death of the Help Nathan Buy Firefly movement…so sad)
 
This post stems from a conversation I had with my Mom over the weekend after we had watched a few episodes of FF.  I was trying to explain to her why BSG should be her next marathon and was giving her short descriptions of the characters.  Next thing I know she’s asking about Cally in the Firefly world.  I asked if she meant Kaylee.  She asked which one was the mechanic.  I said both of them.  She asked which one had been shot.  I said both of them.  She got very confused (the Vicodin may have contributed to that) and demanded to know who the heck was who and why they were so dang similar. 
 
So I present to my Mom (and to you) Cally vs. Kaylee.

***

CALLY

Originally little more than a named extra, the producers liked Nicki Clyne so much that they decided to make Callandra Henderson (or Jane Cally, depending on where you’re at in the series) a full fledged character.  The poor girl just wanted to be honorably discharged from the decommissioned Battlestar Galactica and go off to be a dentist.  Instead she watched the vast majority of her civilization destroyed along with her dreams of oral hygiene.  The moment I knew I liked her was when she fought off a criminal would-be rapist by biting off his ear.  He shot her in the gut and that was supposed to be the end of Deckhand Cally. 

Instead she went on to murder a Cylon (who used to have sex with her boss), get beat up (by her boss), knocked up (not by her boss), hitched (to her boss), almost executed (by the big boss) and then murdered (by a Cylon). 

Even though Cally turns out to be not so great a person, I have a soft spot for her.  I mean, seriously, the girl just wanted to be a dentist.

KAYLEE

A genius mechanic with no formal training, Kaywinnit Frye is the heart and soul of the Serenity crew.  She’s pretty much open and honest about everything and jumps on the opportunity to take the mechanic job away from a guy right after jumping his bones.  She accidentally gets shot in the gut by the most incompetent undercover cop ever and is saved by the soon-to-be ship’s doctor who bargains for safe passage with her life. 

The poor girl somehow ends up being the brunt of the guy’s teasing, usually when she displays some behavior that proves she’s a woman under all that engine grease.  Fortunately, the ladies come to her defense, most often in the form of mad dogging the guys.  She develops a fat crush on the doc and even though he seems to like her too, he pretty much screws it up at every opportunity. 

I liked Kaylee from the moment I saw her (how could you not??)  I mean, seriously, the girl just wants to fix things and wear a frilly pink dress.

***

Ok, so let’s review here.  Both are mechanics, both have unrequited crushes on fellow crew members that are eventually requited, both get shot in the stomach and that’s about where the similarities end. 

But it’s understandable how someone doped up on pain meds would get the two confused.

Say yes. 

Don’t make me mad dog you.

Malcolm Reynolds vs. Han Solo

Malcom Reynolds vs. Han Solo by Hot Nerd GirlAs the pressure heats up for Fox to let Nathan buy the rights to Firefly, I realized that there too is another never-ending battle that shall live on in the annals of sci-fi history: Why Malcolm Reynolds is better than Han Solo….. and vice versa.

I was going to take sides, but then I realized that I’d be happier to take a tour around the galaxy with either of these bad asses.  But in the name of science, SCIENCE I TELL YOU, I will put my personal feelings aside and concentrate solely on their attributes.

And maybe their tushes.  But only a little.  And I make no promises about what I’ll concentrate on once I’m finished writing this post.

Let us proceed.

3 Reasons Why Han Is Better Than Malcom Reynolds

Study up. There will be a test later.

1) Han Has A Better Bucket: While Serenity is quite the ship, with folding toilets and all, it still lives in the shadow of the mother of all ships. In the Millennium Falcon we trust. Both have their issues and are pretty much giant buckets of bolts but the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Not even Kaylee can make Serenity do that. Plus Joss has even stated in the Firefly extras DVD that Serenity IS his Millennium Falcon. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Point Han.

2) Han’s Got A Wookie: While Mal flies around the universe with 8 other people, Han only needs one. And why would you need anyone else? With Chewbacca by your side people will be too intimidated to even think about messing with you. Plus, no offense to Jane and Vera, but Chewie’s weapon of choice is a crossbow that shoots lasers. LASERS. “Oh, look, he’s got a cross bow, isn’t that quaint? HOLY SHIT, IT’S SHOOTING LASERS!”

Point Han. (And Chewie, cause sometimes you gotta let the Wookiee win).


3) Han’s Got Leia: Unlike Mal, who can’t seem to get his shit together when it comes to the girl he’s crushing on, Han grabs Leia’s heart with little more than a smile and a swagger. She’s just as hot disguised as a bounty hunter as she is sporting her (albeit forced on her) gold bikini. But regardless of how she got it, gold bikini Leia loves him and really, does anything beat that?

Point Han.

(BTW you should join the “Help Nathan Buy Firefly” fan page!)

3 Reasons Why Malcolm Reynolds Is Better Than Han Solo

1. Mal Shoots First: Anyone that has ever watched Firefly or Serenity has never had any doubt that Mal, when cornered, will always shoot first. Whether it be kicking a bad guy whose hands are tied behind his back into Serenity’s engines or shooting an unarmed Operative of the Alliance, when he knows he’s right he’ll end you. That makes him hot. Han’s good name has now been so sullied by the Lucas re-edit where Greedo shot first that people feel compelled to make shirts about it. Yuck.

Point Mal.

2. Mal Wears a Trench Coat:
The Firefly-verse is a western, sure, this I’ll grant you, but I will counter with the fact that so is the Star Wars verse, at least on Tatooine. Han’s vest is a relic of the influence from the 1950s westerns, hence the fact that his vest is black. It makes him look cool and edgy.  Mal’s brown makes him look rustic and able to blend in better when he’s, you know, riding horses.

Point Mal.

Hot Nerd Girl pinching Nathan Fillions naked ass

I will never get tired of this photo.... ever...

3. Mal Gets Naked: I’m sure that this means a whole lot more to the lady readers than it does to the male readers but I’m a lady and it’s my blog so there.  Sure, sometimes he’s getting tortured when he’s naked but even encased in carbonite, Han is fully clothed. A wasted opportunity, if you ask me.  Don’t get me wrong, Han is damn sexy but I simply can’t judge him accurately without seeing a little more skin.

Point Captain Tight Pants.


Oh, and did I mention that you should join the “Help Nathan Buy Firefly” Fan page? Oh good.


Decisions, decisions…