Malcolm Reynolds vs. Han Solo

Malcom Reynolds vs. Han Solo by Hot Nerd GirlAs the pressure heats up for Fox to let Nathan buy the rights to Firefly, I realized that there too is another never-ending battle that shall live on in the annals of sci-fi history: Why Malcolm Reynolds is better than Han Solo….. and vice versa.

I was going to take sides, but then I realized that I’d be happier to take a tour around the galaxy with either of these bad asses.  But in the name of science, SCIENCE I TELL YOU, I will put my personal feelings aside and concentrate solely on their attributes.

And maybe their tushes.  But only a little.  And I make no promises about what I’ll concentrate on once I’m finished writing this post.

Let us proceed.

3 Reasons Why Han Is Better Than Malcom Reynolds

Study up. There will be a test later.

1) Han Has A Better Bucket: While Serenity is quite the ship, with folding toilets and all, it still lives in the shadow of the mother of all ships. In the Millennium Falcon we trust. Both have their issues and are pretty much giant buckets of bolts but the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Not even Kaylee can make Serenity do that. Plus Joss has even stated in the Firefly extras DVD that Serenity IS his Millennium Falcon. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Point Han.

2) Han’s Got A Wookie: While Mal flies around the universe with 8 other people, Han only needs one. And why would you need anyone else? With Chewbacca by your side people will be too intimidated to even think about messing with you. Plus, no offense to Jane and Vera, but Chewie’s weapon of choice is a crossbow that shoots lasers. LASERS. “Oh, look, he’s got a cross bow, isn’t that quaint? HOLY SHIT, IT’S SHOOTING LASERS!”

Point Han. (And Chewie, cause sometimes you gotta let the Wookiee win).

3) Han’s Got Leia: Unlike Mal, who can’t seem to get his shit together when it comes to the girl he’s crushing on, Han grabs Leia’s heart with little more than a smile and a swagger. She’s just as hot disguised as a bounty hunter as she is sporting her (albeit forced on her) gold bikini. But regardless of how she got it, gold bikini Leia loves him and really, does anything beat that?

Point Han.

(BTW you should join the “Help Nathan Buy Firefly” fan page!)

3 Reasons Why Malcolm Reynolds Is Better Than Han Solo

1. Mal Shoots First: Anyone that has ever watched Firefly or Serenity has never had any doubt that Mal, when cornered, will always shoot first. Whether it be kicking a bad guy whose hands are tied behind his back into Serenity’s engines or shooting an unarmed Operative of the Alliance, when he knows he’s right he’ll end you. That makes him hot. Han’s good name has now been so sullied by the Lucas re-edit where Greedo shot first that people feel compelled to make shirts about it. Yuck.

Point Mal.

2. Mal Wears a Trench Coat:
The Firefly-verse is a western, sure, this I’ll grant you, but I will counter with the fact that so is the Star Wars verse, at least on Tatooine. Han’s vest is a relic of the influence from the 1950s westerns, hence the fact that his vest is black. It makes him look cool and edgy.  Mal’s brown makes him look rustic and able to blend in better when he’s, you know, riding horses.

Point Mal.

Hot Nerd Girl pinching Nathan Fillions naked ass

I will never get tired of this photo.... ever...

3. Mal Gets Naked: I’m sure that this means a whole lot more to the lady readers than it does to the male readers but I’m a lady and it’s my blog so there.  Sure, sometimes he’s getting tortured when he’s naked but even encased in carbonite, Han is fully clothed. A wasted opportunity, if you ask me.  Don’t get me wrong, Han is damn sexy but I simply can’t judge him accurately without seeing a little more skin.

Point Captain Tight Pants.

Oh, and did I mention that you should join the “Help Nathan Buy Firefly” Fan page? Oh good.

Decisions, decisions…


Malcolm Reynolds…shiny…

If only it were real.... *sigh*

If only it were real…. *sigh*

Malcolm Reynolds…

Even the name is sexy.

I’m a Star Trek fan, I know a sexy Captain when I see one.  As much as I heart Jean-Luc and his perfect bald head, he’s not exactly a “bad boy” and y’all know we girls love us a bad boy.

Mal is someone you can love and hate simultaneously.  Smoldering in one instant and frightening the next.  He’s unpredictable, he’s sweet, he’s handsome, he’s loyal, he’s tortured.  He’s intelligent but he talks like an idiot.  He was rocking the quirky half-smile long before Edward entered the nerd lexicon.  He can take care of and protect you.  He’ll take a beating for you.  He has an amazing sense of humor.  He is bilingual (yeah, yeah, I know everyone speaks Mandarin in Firefly, but whatever).  He’s the kind of guy you want to fix.  But then you don’t because he wouldn’t be so sexy if he wasn’t so complicated.  He’s not uppity like Simon, not stupid like Jayne, and not married like Wash (God rest his soul)

In short, he can throw me up against the wall anytime.

I suppose I’m a little biased when it comes to Firefly.  I love sci-fi and I love Westerns and Joss Whedon was kind enough to combine the two.  But mostly it’s because I had a totally awesome experience in 2004.  My Popi is a Foley Artist for a major motion picture company and his sound stage just happens to be next to the largest stage on the lot.  When I didn’t feel up to exploring, and got bored of watching them fake walk and jostle clothes, I would peak in to see what they were doing next door.

Do you like'm bald or brunette?... I can't decide...

Do you like’m bald or brunette?… I can’t decide…

The Summer of 2004 was a turning point for me.  I had just graduated from college and was trying to figure out what to do with my life and how to go about doing it.  It was decided that I would begin apprenticing Foley under Popi (it didn’t stick and I left to explore other avenues).  Me, and the granddaughter of Mr. Foley himself, would hang out at different parts of the studio and watch people work.  One day we struck up a conversation with the construction foreman in the studio next door and he invited us to come in and see what they were building.

It was Serenity.

Almost fully completed, getting the final paint touch ups.

I walked up and down the main corridor.  I hung out on the bridge and talked about the construction with the people working on it.  I sat in Wash’s pilot seat.  I could have died and gone to nerd heaven right then and there.

I wish I had a picture of it to share with you guys but, alas, it didn’t occur to me to ask and I doubt they would have permitted it even if I had.  Movie studios tend to be mighty anal about that sort of thing.

While standing on Serenity, I could totally picture Kaylee shouting from the engine room, Jayne cleaning off his weapons in the mess hall, and Mal walking towards me with that brooding look on his face.

Inara can just gorram butt out, dong le ma?

"Uhhhhhh hi Burt. Didn't expect to see you here."

“Uhhhhhh hi Burt. Didn’t expect to see you here.”