Lucky 13: Maxim’s Hot Nerd Women of 2012

Normally this post would have come out right after the list was announced as it did last year. However, this has been a crazy busy Summer and I just spent 2.5 weeks in New York helping to take care of my two nieces. In short, I’ve had very little free time.

Better late than never, right?

Maxim recently came out with their list of the 100 hottest women in the world and, like last year, I felt it was my duty to whittle the list down to the most nerd-worthy. What I call the Lucky 13.

Let me tell you, writing this blog is really tough sometimes.

For the sake of fresh blood, I’m not putting any repeats in my 13. So if they were on the list last year they’re going to have to settle for an honorable mention.  Those delectable women include: Christina Hendricks, Zoe Saldana, Ashley Greene, Emma Watson, Scarlett Johanson, Emma Stone, Olivia Wilde, and Olivia Munn. Believe me, it is painful for me to leave them off this list but I don’t want to list the same people over and over again every year. Where would the fun be in that?

Another special mention goes to Stephen Colbert #69 (of course)…as far as I know, the only man to ever find himself on this list.

Note: the order they are presented in was Maxim’s decision, not mine.  So don’t go blaming me if the ones you like are further down the totem pole.

My #13 – Their #97. Kat Dennings

She tasered my boyfr – I mean Thor and was totally unapologetic about it. That takes balls. Oh, and she’s got a wicked sense of humor and the comedic timing to back it up.

My #12 – Their #94. Alexandra Breckinridge

She serviced vampires (in more ways than one) and the inhabitants of a haunted house (in more ways than one). Let’s just say that she’s exceptionally talented (in more ways than one).

My #11 – Their #80. Stana Katic

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with Castle and that’s not just because of the man who plays Castle. People say we look alike. I don’t see it but I’ll take it as a compliment thankyouverymuch.

My #10 – Their #76. Teresa Palmer

She’s dated a sorcerer, been suffocated by hair, killed a crapload of Mogadorians and is soon to be the love interest of a zombie. Is there anything this girl can’t do?

My #9 – Their #67. Rebecca Mader

Not even Time knows what to do with this fiery red head. She’s loyal to Leonard Nimoy so she’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

My #8 – Their #65. Cobie Smulders

It takes an amazing woman to hold her own in a room full of superheroes and master spies. Cobie survived an implosion and an explosion and came up swinging. Well done, Agent Hill, well done.

My #7 – Their #61. Kristen Bell

I’m a little biased when it comes to Miss Bell. She graduated from the same little Catholic High School in Michigan that my Dad attended. She always struck me as the nerdy type and I sympathized greatly with her Fanboys character.

My #6 – Their #35. Yvonne Strahovski

She couldn’t resist the lure of the nerd she was protecting. I told you there was hope for nerds everywhere.

My #5 – Their #22. Kaley Cuoco

Aaaaand another hot chick attracted to the herd of nerd. Kaley and Yvonne even kind of look alike. Think we can convince them to be the blonde bread in a nerd sandwich?

My #4 – Their #16. Charlize Theron

Charlize has done loads of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy films. She’s so beautiful that she’s not afraid to ugly herself up for a role. She’s pretty much the perfect woman.

My #3 – Their #12. Kate Beckinsale

Quite possibly the hottest vampire ever. For such a tiny little thing she makes a very convincing assassin. She’s about to demonstrate that again, this time on Mars.

My #2 – Their #10. Adrianne Palicki

She gave birth to the second coming of Christ, became a Real American Hero and was Wonder Woman for about 2 minutes. Even though the costume sucked I’m still kind of upset that whole WW thing didn’t pan out.

My #1 – Their #6. Jennifer Lawrence

This girl stuck a big ol’ cupids arrow in our hearts when she took on the role of Miss Everdeen.  Oh, and she got naked and painted herself blue. All for us. We’re such lucky bastards.

Until next year, this is HNG signing off.

Guest Review! Cowboys & Aliens!

As y’all know (I may have mentioned it once or thrice) I’m in the process of moving to San Diego and my life is in limbo while I finish up my work in Los Angeles.  Therefore, my BNF (Best Nerd Friend) Hayden and his lovely girlfriend, fellow HNG Melanie, were kind enough to go see Cowboys & Aliens this weekend and write not one but TWO reviews of it as guest bloggers.  H&M…I heart you.

Enjoy!

cowboys and aliens

Aliens.  Why’d it have to be Aliens?

Hayden Gilbert:

New Indy - croppedLet me start by saying there is no way I will be able to fill the shoes – or brazier – of the now legendary Hot Nerd Girl (although my fellow co-guest blogger Melanie definitely has a better shot in both departments).  However, while I don’t consider myself hot (in my own eyes), nor a girl (hopefully in anyone’s eyes), I can certifiably attest to being a nerd.

I can also say without hesitation that I’m quite an avid western lover and a huge fan of anything involving visitors from another world (the cast of Jersey Shore being the exception).  Taking all that into account, I would have been first in line to see any movie with the title “Cowboys & Aliens” trailer unseen.

As my very attractive co-blogger mentions as well, everything about this movie has a simple theme to it.  From the title itself to the premise of good ol’ fashion gunslingers taking on technologically superior creatures, Cowboys & Aliens succeeds in that it doesn’t try to be more than what it is:  A good old fashion shootout at the O.K. Corral with 10 foot tall slimy monsters that make the aliens from the Predator movies look like runway models.  Hell, what’s not to like about aliens who also lasso their victims!  Great stuff I tells ya.

[youtube:http://youtu.be/UdmupNxobP0]

While the acting overall was not quite award caliber, I actually liked the lack of over-the-top dramatics when it dealt with the reactions of humans to their unknown invaders.  Think about it, people during this time didn’t have clue one about space people or flying saucers as this takes place during a time when horses were the main source of transport and showing ankle was considered scantily clad.

olivia-wilde-cowboys-aliens

Hot girl with a six shooter? Yes please.

Speaking of, seeing Olivia Wilde completely wrapped up in a piece of wallpaper during the whole movie was a waste of her, uh, talents.  The nude scene of her would have made up for it had they actually showed anything of value.  Did I mention I was a male nerd?

As can be imagined, Harrison Ford stole the show in this one.  Be it a quick line or a familiar facial reaction, your attention is always drawn to his screen presence.  Daniel Craig served his purpose of bad ass alien annihilator (say that 10 times fast after 10 shots of whiskey), albeit his character wasn’t given any major Shakespearean dialogue to work with.  I also enjoyed the 2 – maybe more? – nods given to Indian Jones in the flick.  Can you spot them?  (Hint:  It’s 007 that summons the spirit of Indy twice)

Overall, C&A was a fun and unique ride on the combination of two classic genres.  Add a pinch of 007 and a dash of Indy with a kick-ass final scene that would make any western-lover happy and you have a flick that is almost sure to satisfy.  Just remember to check your 6-shooter and expectations at the door.

(P.S. For those Nerdboys like myself that need an additional fixen of Western Sci-Fi, be sure to check out Brisco Country Jr on DVD… best show ‘cancelled-too-soon’ ever!  Has Bruce Campbell ever done anything bad?)

Melanie Critser:

Brace yourself.  There are cowboys AND aliens in this movie!  And a cast of hot men and women that only get hotter when plastered in dirt.  Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig together at last…with Craig getting more ass shots in one movie than JLo has gotten in her entire career.  And don’t worry, men, Olivia Wilde doesn’t disappoint—especially as she emerges from fire…naked.  But this movie isn’t all fun and games—oh wait, yeah it is!

Cowboys & Aliens is everything the title promises.  The story is simple.  Our planet has an element the aliens want.  They are here to scout out the planet and give the “mother-ship” the thumbs up to “come on down.”  It’s all up to the Cowboys and Indians to stop them…seriously, was anyone expecting an Oscar nominee?  It makes no apologies for its campiness!  There were moments that had heart and moments that almost made me cheer.

What? No speedo's in the Old West?

I wasn’t crazy about the aliens themselves, but I suppose that was the point.  They had creepy little extra hands that unfold out of their bellies, all slimy and shaky–yuck!  Also, where was the steamy love scene?  I felt a bit cheated in this area.  I can’t imagine what possessed them to leave that out—in the words of Flight of the Conchords, conditions were perfect for “Business Time.”  To no avail…

Daniel Craig was sporting his 007 seriousness, just substitute a clean shave and tux for dried blood and cowboy gear.  The bad-ass side of Daniel Craig hits the spot, no one wants to watch him skipping through a flower field—bring on the guns!

Harrison Ford’s role was the most intriguing.  Is he a bad guy?  Is he a good guy?  Regardless, he can still deliver those hilarious one liners.  And you may struggle with whether he’s The Good or The Bad..but he’s never The Ugly.  He clearly hasn’t lost his charm on screen and he’s giving Sean Connery a run for his money in the “Better with Age” department.

Overall, I don’t expect this movie to be on any top 10 (or 100) lists, but I truly enjoyed it.  Perhaps my expectations were right where they needed to be–I jumped in my seat and laughed at the cheesiness.  It was just the boost my summer needed!

You can read Hayden’s online dating advice (it worked for him!) at Examiner.com.  Melanie doesn’t have a blog so you’ll just have to hope she guest writes for HNG again.  Like what they wrote?  Let them know in the comments!