I prayed that Priest would be good…

hot nerd girl priest poster 34DD

If it's a staring contest you want Mr. Bettany, bring it on.

It wasn’t. Wow. What a great way to kick off a review. More detail you ask? Well here ya go…

To give you a little background, yes, Priest is most certainly a graphic novel adaption as so many sci-fi/fantasy films seem to be these days. It’s set in a world where apparently man and vampire have co-existed forever. And when I mean forever I mean (according to the cartoon that plays out the back story at the beginning) this has literally been going on since man was on horseback, right through up until we created flame throwers. And man somehow was just barely able to fend off vampires this entire time until the “church” was able to create “Priests” who received special training to fight vampires, thus winning the war for humanity.

[youtube:http://youtu.be/JghQgA2HMX8]

Don’t worry, I haven’t ruined the movie for you since they explain this in the first five minutes of film. Just know that this setup colored my view of the movie all the way through. And that may sound odd coming from someone who is admittedly on Team Edward, but the fact that guns and flame throwers were no match for vampires but one dude with tiny little crucifix-like throwing daggers could mess them up, was just too much for me.

Then again, this one guy is Paul Bettany. And I love me some Paul Bettany. He did the same growly/dark/brooding thing he did in  Legion/Da Vinci Code, which is fine. I mean, who has a problem with watching Jeffrey Chaucer kick ass? Not me. But kick ass in 3D? That one was a bit of a stretch. A good 90% of the movie takes place in the dark. Without the multitude of colors that you usually see in a movie, the 3D in it just did not work. The added dimensions get lost in the varying shades of black.

Maggie Q did the usual animatronic acting/fighting. Cam Gigadent was actually pretty good as the young kid who chases after his love interest. And Karl Urban, you get a pass because you’re Karl Urban and I still need to watch Pathfinder.

priest-movie-character-poster-hot nerd girl
Dental floss… not just for G-strings jokes anymore.

In all honestly guys, I wanted to like it. Dystopian future ruled by the church? What’s not to like? But the execution was just tiresome and the dialogue was like it was written by a fifth grader. Oh well. At least I had fun taking some of the photos for the poster 🙂

One of out Five Sci-Fives… (but only cause I love you Paul and Karl).

1 out of 5 Sci-Five's

25 Take Aways: A Battlestar Galactica Wrap Up

BSG Wrap Up

A while back I admitted to being a late bloomer to the greatness that is Battlestar Galactica…cause seriously, I’m waaaaaay too busy to watch every single TV show that comes out, nerdy or not.  Aside from developing an unhealthy addiction to speed in order to eek a few more hours out of my day, my solution was to wait until the entire series came out on DVD and then watch it all in an epic month long marathon.

Personally, I think I made the right decision on this one.  I don’t know how people waited from week to week to find out what happened next.  Sounds like torture to me.

I finished my marathon a few weeks ago so I thought it might be fun to do a little wrap up of all things BSG.  Some totally random parting thoughts…

1. Anyone else think it’s funny that when Lee and Dee got married, their names rhymed?  Even funnier for me was the fact that her name became Dualla Adama.  I don’t know why, but that cracks me up.  Oh wait, Dualla is her last name?  What’s her first name?  Anastasia?  Where the frak did that come from?

2. Oh Boomer.  Boomer, Boomer, Boomer.  There were times when I really had hope for you and then you would go and frak it all up.  I mean, really, you HAD to beat the shit out of Athena, then bang her husband right in front of her?  Beee-yatch!  I guess you sort of redeemed yourself at the end but I would have shot you in the face too.

3. Why was Six the only Cylon who got to try out different hair do’s?  I’m sure Eight would have liked to have rocked something other than stringy bangs for once.

4. I love how Kat went from flashing her naughty bits in D’Anna’s documentary to suddenly having to hide her past from everyone.  Damn girl, you need to get your shit straight.

5. I’m not sure what this says about me, but I liked Saul way more AFTER he found out he was a Cylon.  Tory?  Never really liked her.

6. Helo, you went from being a throwaway character to being one of the most important characters on the whole show.  Not really sure how you did that, but I’m very glad you did.  And dude, you’re huge.  What are you, like half giant or something?

7. I miss Billy, he was such a sweet kid.

8. So what the frak was Starbuck anyways?  An Angel?  I was obsessed with suns, moons and stars as a kid and used to paint them on EVERYTHING…does that mean I’ll end up like her?

9. Dude, I don’t care if he’s a Cylon, a vegetable, a hybrid, whatever, when it comes to Anders I would totally hit that.  He was one sexy bitch.  And he waits for you on the other side, isn’t that adorable?

10. Laura Roslin is my kinda woman, it’s too bad she spent so much time being cancer girl.  I watched someone near and dear to me waste away from that last year, it was hard to watch that again.

11. The look Tyrol gave Tory when he saw that she had killed Cally was crazy.  When he snapped his head around like that, it was like watching a Borg or a Terminator.  It really brought home the fact that he was a machine.

12. I love that Badger ends up being the President of the Colonies.

13. Cally smelled like cabbage?  WTF is in that algae shit anyways?

14. Hot Dog, I know you’re EJO’s kid and all, but this video is probably the best thing I could find of you from BSG.

[youtube:http://youtu.be/u2RuHAqvp6s]

Oh, and you got knocked out by a girl.  An awesome girl.  But a girl nonetheless.

15. Soooooo….are we all Human-Cylon hybrids descended from Hera?  Cause that was the past right?  Or is it the future?  Does this mean that we can blame the Japanese and their creepy humanoid robots for the near destruction of humanity?

16. I, too, would like some resurrection technology.  Thanks Helen….uhhh…Mom.

17. Holy frakking shit Dee.  I never saw that one coming.

18. Really Helen, you modeled One after your dad and then you did the “swirl” with him?  That is disturbing on so many levels.

19. TNG Number One = hot.  BSG Number One = not.

20. Gaeta, you went from being one of my very favorite characters to my least favorite.  The way your storyline ended made me sad.  See? –> 🙁

21. Tahmoh Penikett – what the hell kind of name is that?  You’re Canadian and your sisters are named Sarah and Stephanie.  I don’t get it.

22. Baltar – you crazy.

23. I kind of had a thing for you Lee Adama.  Then Anders came along and you were sort of old news.  Then you ditched the uniform, and while I’ll admit you look pretty spiffy in a suit, it doesn’t compare to the uniform.  Then I found out you tried to have sex with Starbuck while she was engaged to your brother.  Now I kind of think you’re a douche.  A cute douche.

24. Admiral Adama, I would follow you to the end of the galaxy too.  I’ve learned this about myself.  But you kind of spit when you’re mad.  Or sad.  Or drunk.  It’s a little gross.  But I still heart you.

25. Humans will never, ever change.  We see native peoples and just assume that they’ll want to procreate with us. Excuse me, Mr. Tribesman? Would you mind whipping it out for us?  We really need to breed.  kthx.

Looking forward to 17th Precinct!!!

17th precinct