Month: March 2012

  • Hungry for some Hunger Games (movie edition)

    Chelsea and I definitely agreed it was worth a Sci-Five!

    Ok seriously, I don’t know wtf was up with the audience in my theatre but I couldn’t tell if I was there to watch a movie or at a meeting of the World’s Smallest Bladder Club.  I think the four people in our group were the only people in the entire theatre that didn’t get up to pee at some point.  And don’t even get me started on the couple who brought the newborn baby.

    Aaaaaand my bitch session has officially ended, on to the review of Hunger Games!

    *The usual warning: I actually do a pretty good job of not spoiling things but if you’re nervous about it, you may want to wait until after you’ve seen the movie to read my review.

    Oh, Katniss Everdeen.  I love you so much.  We have a lot in common, you and I. We are both tougher than we look, don’t make friends easily but are fiercely loyal when we do, would do anything for our younger siblings, and are totally clueless when someone has a crush on us.  That is, until they flat out say it…and maybe clap their hands in front of your face and set off a foghorn in your ear.

    Oh, Jennifer Lawrence.  I love you so much.  You’re the actress I would have picked to play Katniss and I’m very happy that the powers that be agreed with me.  You bring strength and vulnerability to a role that could easily have been botched by lesser actresses.  Plus your perty.

    Oh, Peeta Mellark.  You’re such a sweetheart.  You represent all the guys who are in love with the girls who say “you’re just like my brother!”  You’re quietly supportive and then completely awestruck when the girl finally starts to see you in a different light.  I’ve been that girl who has dated that boy and I root for you.

    Oh, Josh Hutcherson.  I feel like I’ve watched you grow up.  You were pretty good in Bridge to Terabithia and even better in The Kids Are All Right.  You’ve turned into quite the charmer.  Your smile is totally adorkable.  I heard about you introducing Liam to White Castle, then playing basketball so hard you both threw up all those hamburgers.  That’s really gross but really funny.  Male bonding is weird.

    Oh, Gale Hawthorne.  You’re the guy that the girls who don’t realize how awesome they are feel like they can never get.  You’re a stud but you don’t even know it.  You’re a great friend and you think of that dorky girl as a cute little sister until the day someone else starts to pursue her and then you realize that you’ve loved her all along. I’ve been that girl who has dated that guy too and I root for you as well.

    Oh, Liam Hemsworth.  You’re dating Miley Cyrus and I’m not gonna lie, that kind of turns me off.  BUT, you’re Thor’s little brother and you seem really down to earth in all your interviews so I’m willing to look past the Miley Factor.  You’re also kind of ridiculously cute.  Not as cute as your older brother, but you can hold your own.

    Other District 12 peeps:

    You might recognize Mrs. Everdeen if you watched the Battlestar Galactica prequel Caprica where Paula Malcolmson played Amanda Graystone. I think she was a good choice to play the mom-with-no-first-name.  She’s excellent at staring blankly and crying.  Primrose Everdeen is a character I totally love and I think that Willow Shields did a fine job portraying her.  She’s got some heavy stuff coming up in the next two films and I hope she’s up to the task.  Woody Harrelson was an inspired choice to play Haymitch, the only Victor that District 12 has ever had.  He provided comic relief but also some very tender moments that I found very endearing.  He came to SFSU when I was a Freshman to talk about SOL (Simple Organic Living) and legalizing marijuana and while Miss Mary Jane is not my thing, I really enjoyed watching him speak.  He struck me as the kind of guy I’d like to chill out and have a beer with (or, in my case, a shot of Jager).

    Capital peeps:

    Lenny Kravitz was lovely as Cinna, Katniss’s stylist and Capital BFF.  In real life Jennifer Lawrence and his daughter Zoe are best friends (they starred in X-Men: First Class together) so they already had a relationship that could be expanded upon.  I’ve really grown to like Elizabeth Banks.  I didn’t pay too much attention to her early in her career.  I thought she was cute as Betty Brant in Spider-Man but that was about it.  Then one day something clicked and I’ve been keeping an eye on her ever since.  She made for a great Effie Trinket, though I always imagined Effie being even perkier than Banks’ portrayal.  Seneca Crane is a pretty minor character in the books.  They definitely expanded his role for the movie to take full advantage of Wes Bentley and his epic swirly beard.  I love Donald Sutherland.  When I was a kid a TV movie came out called The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All and I don’t know why (probably because I’m a huge history nerd), but that movie has always stuck with me.  It stars Sutherland as an aging Confederate Captain who takes Diane Lane as a child bride.  In it he has a cold, calm demeanor with a vicious temper lying just below the surface. Much like President Snow.  President Coriolanus Snow is scary because of all the ways he isn’t scary.  He’s small with slightly snake-like features, he zealously tends his gardens, and he doesn’t raise his voice.  Quiet and calculating, the man literally has blood breath that he masks with the genetically engineered super roses he wears on his lapel.  But the Capitalist of the Year Award has to go to Stanley Tucci as Caesar Flickerman.  Brilliant.

    I wrote a post after reading The Hunger Games for the first time in June 2011.  Normally I would reread the book before going to see the movie but I’m right in the middle of A Dance with Dragons and I didn’t want to interrupt so I’m purely going off memory here.  From what I remember the movie follows the book extremely well.  A great film adaptation that I can’t help but feel is owed to Suzanne Collins helping to write the screenplay.  Two things that were different and that I really missed were:

    1. The omission of Madge Undersee, the Mayor’s daughter who gives Katniss the Mockingjay pin in the book.  The ties that bind them are eventually revealed in Book 2, Catching Fire and take the story to an even deeper, more emotional level.

    2. The dogs at the end of the Hunger Games.  In the movie they are pitbull-type and identical but in the book they are mutts with the mutated faces of the kids who have already died in the Games.  The mutt dogs are meant to be a total mindfuck for the remaining Tributes, as opposed to just being giant scary dogs.

    Respect yo

    I think that the filmmakers are relying on the fact that you’ve read the book and already know about some of the characters and situations.  Having read the books and not finding it a problem, I know this only because one of the people I was with hadn’t read the books and was very confused by certain parts, like the three-fingered salute.  He wanted to know where the heck that came from and what it meant.  I’m hoping the DVD has deleted scenes like the dubbing of the redhead as “Foxface” so that I know they at least tried to get it in there but just had to cut it for time.  Also, I cried twice within the first 50 pages of the book and probably a dozen times over the course of all three.  There is a true sense of hopelessness and despair that just can’t be captured onscreen.  I got a little verklempt during Rue’s final scene but it didn’t deliver the emotional wallop I was expecting it to and that kind of bummed me out.

    Stylistically I thought that the movie was gorgeous.  District 12 was appropriately bleak and made the surrounding woods that Katniss and Gale escape to all the more beautiful.  The Capital was gaudy, though not as much as I expected it to be.  I was expecting to see people with green skin and implanted cat whiskers and whatnot but found that I didn’t really miss them.  The flame effect was nicely done.  For some reason I always pictured their whole bodies being on fire, as opposed to just the head and shoulders.  But that didn’t really bother me.

    I really liked the Hunger Games Control Room with its sterile interior and white uniforms.  It kind of made me feel like zombies were going to break out of a holding cell down the hall.  But that’s a good thing (for once) because it means that it was creepy and the idea of people sitting around and calmly deciding how best to kill innocent children is a really creepy idea.

    If I have one complaint it’s the shaky cam.  I seriously hate shaky cam.  I saw the movie twice, once closer to the screen and once further back.  Being further back I didn’t notice the shakiness that much and I enjoyed the movie much more.  When I was closer to the screen it gave me a bad headache a la Cloverfield (a movie that I will never watch again despite my love for JJ Abrams and Lizzy Caplan).  So if the filmmakers ever read this (haha yeah right) I implore you, please ditch the shaky cam unless you deem it absolutely necessary for very small parts of the film.

    Most of all, this movie got me really, really, REALLY excited for the next two films, Catching Fire and Mockingjay.  I can’t wait to see how they handle the Quarter Quell and District 13, etc etc.  Gah! I’m trying really hard not to give anything away for anyone who hasn’t read the books yet.  If you haven’t, you really should.  They are technically YA novels but that’s kind of like saying the last few Harry Potter books are for children.  They’re really not.

    4.5 out of 5 Sci-Fives!

  • 7 Guys Worth Nerdgasaming Over

    Just replace the Tribble with one of these 7 delicious men and I’ll be a happy camper

    My sister-in-law and I were at WonderCon on Friday and somehow we got on the topic of “Cheat Sheets.”

    And no, I’m not talking about the school variety.

    The “Cheat Sheet” I’m referring to is a list of people you’re allowed to get it on with and your significant other can’t hold it against you.  You both get one and the list is full of people you don’t even remotely stand a chance with.  For example, Robert Downey Jr. and Christian Bale are on my SIL’s list.  Isla Fisher and Gretchen Mole are on my brother’s list.  They are only allowed 5 each.

    Now, I’ve written a number of articles about sexy women, the 2 most popular being 10 Hottest Babes of Sci-Fi and Maxim’s Hot 100 Lucky 13 but I have yet to write a post about nerd-worthy sexy men.  This kind of blows my mind. It also got me thinking about my own list and who would be on it.  I certainly know it when I see it if I’d hit it…but can I narrow it down to a list?

    It’s was a difficult challenge but one that I was willing to accept.

    Yeesh my job really sucks sometimes 😉

    After much thought, meditation and Google image searching, I’ve put together my Cheat Sheet. I couldn’t narrow it down to 5 so I get 7.  Because I’m HNG and I say so.  So there.  Naturally everyone on my list fits nicely into the nerd ‘verse….cause that’s all I ever pay attention to anyways…ahem.  Sorry if you don’t bat for this team and it’s not your kind of list.  I’m an equal opportunity sexy list maker and I can’t (nay won’t!) neglect the fans who will appreciate this.

    So without further ado, here’s my list in alphabetical order:

    Orlando Bloom

    I studied for my college finals every December for 3 years in a row while waiting in the 5+ hour line for opening day of the latest Lord of the Rings movie.  I graduated Cum Laude so I must have been doing something right.  The first time I saw Legolas on screen I was 100% convinced that I was going to marry him one day.  Then all the teeny boppers jumped on that bandwagon (especially once Pirates of the Caribbean came out) and it turned me off big time.  But still, I can’t help it.  I think he’s adorable.  Thankfully most of those teeny boppers have moved on to RPatz.  I used to see Orlando outside my work sometimes, once with Dominic Monaghan (and cue borderline creepy stalker pic) and my heart would still leap into my throat.  So he stays on the list.

    Nathan Fillion

    Does this one really need an explanation?  I didn’t think so.  But I’ll give one anyway.  Actually, I wrote a whole blog about it back when HNG was brand spankin’ new and I stand by it.  But aside from the fact that he’s Malcolm Reynolds, Captain Hammer, Richard Castle, The Holy Avenger, etc etc etc…Nathan himself has an amazing sense of humor.  I don’t pay much attention to my Twitter account (although I probably should) but every once in a while I go on and just read back through his tweets for fun.  I’m often told that I look like Stana Katic, Nathan’s source of sexual tension on Castle.  I disagree about the physical similarities but I would gladly trade places with her and experience some of that sexual tension for myself. ….please….?

    Tom Hardy

    Five of the men on this list are foreigners with deliciously sexy foreign accents.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m as proud an American as they come, but GD I love a good accent.  There’s a scene in This Means War when Reese Witherspoon meets Tom Hardy for the first time and she asks him to say something again because it sounds so awesome.  I could not have said it better myself.  Tom Hardy first came to my attention as the Captain Picard clone in Star Trek: Nemesis.  I went to see it on opening day with about ten guy friends.  About five minutes into the movie I started crying (because I’m a movie psychic and I’d already figured out what would happen to Data) much to the horror of every guy I was with.   I will never forget the moment when the friend next to me asked me if I was ok and I looked over and saw ten grown men staring at me like I had tentacles sprouting from my face.  It was HI-larious.  But I digress.  The other thing that stood out was Tom.  He’s been charming me ever since, crooked teeth and all. Seriously, he was my very favorite character in Inception. I think I’m the only person on the planet that isn’t looking forward to seeing him as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises.  I know he’s going to be brilliant but the thought of him like that just makes me cringe.  But I’ll still watch it.  Over and over and over again.

    Chris Hemsworth

    If you’ve been following the blog for a while this will come as no surprise.  If you are a newbie, allow me to explain.  I’m a big Thor fan. 1. He’s my favorite comic book character and 2. I’m a ridiculously proud Scandinavian who grew up listening to stories about Odin and Asgard while we made lefse and sauerkraut.  The first time I remember seeing Thor on a movie screen was when Vincent D’Onofrio reluctantly accepted the title in Adventures in Babysitting, one of my very favorite movies of all time. So I had very high hopes for whoever Kenneth Branaugh cast in his Avengers set up.  I wasn’t sure what to think about Chris Hemsworth at first.  I remembered him being Kirk’s daddy in the latest Star Trek and I thought he was mighty cute but not big enough to be the God of Thunder.  Then he took his shirt off and I had a conniption fit.  OMFG.  Seriously Chris, you just have to say the word and it is on like Donkey Kong.

    James McAvoy

    I think my attraction to James mostly has to do with his Scottish accent.  And his eyes.  And the fact that he’s a brilliant actor.  And his eyes.  And his accent.  All of which I discussed in my review of X-Men: First Class. But aside from all that, he’s uber talented.  Mr. Tumnus is one of those literary characters that is beloved by fans of The Chronicles of Narnia and James did good by our favorite faun.  Plus, he rocks the Jane Austin-type stuff and you know us girls eat that shit right up.

    David Tennant

    Another choice that needs no explanation.  Easily the sexiest of all the Doctor incarnations, his 3 series and 8 specials are the most popular and well-loved of the long running Doctor Who BBC show.  Then he had to go and seal the deal with Harry Potter and Fright Night, forcing me to adore him forever.  His face is so malleable, he can twist and turn it in countless ways.  But when he just stop and smiles, your heart melts.  David, I am so sorry (see what I did there?), but I just can’t quit you.

    Michael Trucco

    Now, my brother’s name is Michael and normally I’m totally weirded out by the thought of banging someone with the same name as someone I’m related to but in this case I will totally make an exception.  I fell head over heels in love with Anders the second he showed up on Battlestar Galactica.  Lee who?  Seriously, I wanted to punch Starbuck in the face for the way she treated him.  Even the fact that he was a Cylon could not diminish my love.  It sucked when he went all vegetable and yet I would still probably hit that.  I’m a little grossed out by myself right now but damn, that is a fine ass man.  He also had memorable guest spots on Big Bang Theory and Castle (where my celebrity look alike got to have a nice little love triangle with TWO of the people on my list.  Bitch.)

    Runners Up:

    Richard Madden – Game of Thrones

    Kit Harington – Game of Thrones

    Chris O’Donnell – Batman Forever (but never ever ever Batman & Robin *shudder*)

    Patrick Stewart – Star Trek: The Next Generation, X-Men

    Henry Cavill – The Tudors, Immortals, Man of Steel

    Jamie Dornan – Once Upon A Time

    Jason Mamoa – Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones, Stargate: Atlantis

    Ben Browder – Farscape, Stargate SG1, upcoming Doctor Who episode

    Alexander Skarsgard – True Blood

    Ryan Kwanten – True Blood

    Joe Manganiello – True Blood

    Tristan MacManus – Dancing with the Stars (I know, totally random, right? But I’m a theatre/dance nerd too and he’s frakking adorable)

  • WonderCon 2012

    The WonderCrew: Troi, Geek Outlaw, HNG, Mama Jedi

    The first time I went to WonderCon was way back in 2002 while I was in college in San Francisco.  I was the only girl in the group and was rocking my Batman Underoos and a very ill-fitting SFSU sweatshirt.

    A Spider-Man sticker on top of a Batman logo…I’m trying to remember if we had some sort of Marvel vs. DC thing going on that day….

    Since moving to Southern California I wasn’t sure I’d ever go to a WonderCon again but fate had other plans (namely construction) and planted WonderCon in Anaheim this year.  I had to go.  Now, normally I like to spend at least two days at a comic book convention; however, WonderCon inconveniently fell on St. Patrick’s Day weekend and the Irish blood in me refused to give up the St. Patty’s Day festivities.  Therefore, I settled for going to WonderCon on Friday only.

    This was the first Comic Book Convention for my Mom, my sister-in-law Troi and my friend Hayden (aka Geek Outlaw).  We’re all going to San Diego Comic Con this Summer so it was good practice for them.  My Mom wore the HNG t-shirt I had made for Long Beach Comic Con and guys were flirting with her all day.  What can I say?  I have a hot mama.  Hayden wore his Geek Outlaw outfit which was so weighed down by his geeky accoutrements that he literally had to mosey.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J67TEVdIN0]

    First things first.  Star Trek.  Star Trek actors are the only celebrities I get star struck by.  I’m not sure why that is other than the fact that I heart Star Trek sosososososososo much.  Seriously, Harrison Ford could walk up to me and I’d be like “yo, what’s up dude?” but if Patrick Stewart did that I would freak the fuck out.  So it should come as no surprise that when I saw Anthony Montgomery (aka Ensign Travis Mayweather) I freaked the fuck out.

    See that look on my face? That’s pure joy right there.

    I was in the process of purchasing a comic book and getting my face sketched on the back of it (more on that later) when Hayden and I realized that Anthony was in the booth right next door.  I couldn’t move yet because of the sketching so Hayden went over and warned Anthony that a Super Trekkie was in his midst.  I tend to be a very shy person but as soon as I got the go ahead from the sketch artist that I could move I practically mauled the poor man.

    I swear I don’t normally do this type of thing!

    He now holds the distinction of being the only Star Trek actor that I’ve hugged.  Twice.  Seriously though, super super super nice guy.  I even told him my Connor Trinneer story and he got a laugh out of that (short version: I had just arrived at Whole Foods in Hollywood and saw a guy holding a baby and trying to get a grocery cart.  I got the grocery cart for him and when he turned around and thanked me I realized it was Connor Trinneer and I almost had a heart attack right on the spot).

    Anthony was there promoting his new graphic novel Miles Away.  Y’all should check it out because it looks really good and because I heart him.  A lot.

    Back to the comic book I was purchasing before I saw Anthony….

    Artist: J caught my eye because she’s a fellow HNG who wrote a comic book. Seriously, she’s badass.  She combines the comic with music to create a whole experience for the reader.  I love and support my fellow HNG’s and you should too.  So check her out.

    And she makes a darn sexy Wonder Woman too

    One of her artists, Will Olmo, did a quick sketch of me on the back of the book.

    While looking for an artist I saw at LBCC (alas, I never found him and I can’t remember his name) I ran into two other artists that I will be paying close attention to from now on.  The first one is Mike McKone who happens to live just a few miles away from me.  I’m going to try and hit him up for an interview.  The second is Gerimi Burleigh creator of Eye of the Gods and Morningstar.  We first noticed Gerimi because Hayden is a fan of the country western genre and Morningstar has a cowboy twist to it.  After talking to him, you can’t help but like him.  Super talented and super nice.  Plus, he has an awesome name.

    Geek Outlaw and Gerimi Burleigh

    DC is fighting hunger in Africa with their We Can Be Heroes campaign.  To bring attention to the cause they had a photobooth set up wherein you could get your picture taken with shadowy images of the Justice League.

    They printed a picture for you (or in Hayden’s case, a crapload of pictures…the printer went nuts over his sexy photo and wouldn’t stop printing them). The photos will be accessible online and on the DC facebook page at some point.

    My scanner doesn’t like this picture for some reason so I’ll replace it when they get the digital versions up

    We went to an Amazing Spider-Man panel where I saw and got super excited about this:

    It’s Punisher! In space!

    But the best panel was Nerdist Industries Live! I really hope that no one reading this is too young to remember MTV’s Singled Out.  It was back when MTV still played music videos and there were only a handful of reality shows, namely Real World, Singled Out and Love Line (though LL may have come later…I can’t remember, I haven’t watched MTV in years). Anyhooters, people mostly remember Singled Out because it introduced the world to Jenny McCarthy.  I remember it because it introduced me to Chris Hardwick.  My love for him has only increased over the years what with The Nerdist, Talking Dead, and various hilarious commentaries on E! pop culture shows.

    He introduced several people who will be participating in the new Nerdist youtube channel.

    Those of us in Ballroom 3 had to pay dearly to see this panel.  Warner Brothers decided that right beforehand they would force everyone waiting for The Nerdist to watch an episode of The Secret Circle.  It was worse than Chinese water torture.  And this is coming from someone who enjoys Twilight (I know, I know). It did give Chris the opportunity to tell jokes about sexy witch scissor sex (that’s how you complete the circle, right?) which almost made it worth it.  Almost.

    Other Chris Hardwick gems:

    Nerds make the shiny things that distract the mouth breathers.

    A nerd’s true superpower is to try to understand something and try to live it more than any other living creature.

    At the end of the panel Chris had two Angry Bird stuffed animals.  The first he threw right to a kid in the front row who made them all feel horribly guilty for cussing.  The second he decided to throw as far as he could.  The guy next to me was crazy still during the whole panel but he wanted that GD Angry Bird.  I’ve never seen a man that size move so fast.  It was pretty epic.  And the guy was STOKED.  Of course I captured it on video.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3GAz77TDqs]

    On to cosplay photos!

    We got to take pictures in front of an Avengers poster while holding Cap’s shield.

    Somehow I ended up being the buttkicker in both photos

    And then with Captain America himself.

    There was Batman.

    And Rogue.

    Hulk…at least the top half of him…

    And Spidey (who was insanely flexible).

    And then there was whatever the frak this guy is.

    That’s a nice leg and dangly-thing you got there Mister

    To represent the gamers we had some Halo.

    And some Halo Barbies.

    Scorpion had some crazy white contacts lenses that gave me a really great mental picture of what Roose Bolton’s eyes must look like.

    Abraham Lincoln was in attendance just in case any vampires showed up.

    Battlestar Galactica was represented.

    This is the best Doctor #10 I’ve ever seen at a Con.  He was spot on.

    These fellow HNG’s made their Tardis dresses themselves.  As a very non-domestic lady I was extremely impressed.

    It takes this artist 8 hours to put this Firefly display together every time he goes to a convention.

    Represent.

    My favorite shirt of day.

    I heart Transformers.  Haha, j/k, it’s a Gundam.

    And, of course, there was plenty of the Force.

    Last but not least, Hayden’s favorite, the Ghostbusters.

    That was a really hard pose to hold.

    ….and all the times Troi and I decided to photobomb Hayden’s pictures… 🙂

    Our souvenirs, including an R2D2 for my nephew.

    WonderCon turned out to be a good time had by all.  The newbies are sufficiently stoked for SD Comic Con and I got an 8-bit Starfleet communicator. What more could a girl ask for?

    
    
  • My Star Wars Leap Day Night Thing at Disneyland

    The Lovely Ladies of Leap Day – Jessica, HNG, Troi

    At first I didn’t that think our little Leap Day trip to Disneyland was nerdy enough to write about. Then I thought about the fact that I stayed up all night for a history-making 24 hour Disney marathon and I realized that this is about as nerdy as it gets.

    Our little group chose a Star Wars theme for our little adventure. We were planning to ride Star Tours multiple times like I had on my birthday. Also, we all love Star Wars. We wore our t-shirts. Jessica had her Darth Vader backpack. Troi had her Darth Vader sweatshirt. I had my Darth Vader watch. Then, of course, it turned out to be über cold and we had to cover up our sweet t-shirts. Then Jessica had to head out and she took her sweet backpack with her. In the end the only proof of our Star Wars love was Troi’s sweet Vader sweatshirt. Which got a ton of compliments in the Star Tours line the ONE time we were able to ride it.

    But this guy kind of made up for it with his sweet Viking beard beanie

    We also had our mini lightsabers. I snagged them the second I saw them at Target because they, well, look like mini lightsabers. Only after I brought them home did I realize that they could also be used as location devices. At that point I didn’t think the park would be very busy in the middle of the night. I was very very wrong about that. So these bad boys came in handy on multiple occasions. Plenty of people had glow sticks and light up Mickey ears but these outshined them all. I’m never going to any nighttime event without one ever again. A stroke of genius on my part.  And did I mention that it doubles as a lightsaber?

    Mini lightsabers FTW!

    I got to introduce Troi to the awesomeness that is Captain Eo. Usually she has my 3 year old nephew with her and he’s not quite old enough to sit still or appreciate he epicness that is Michael Jackson throwing rays of light that turn the Borg into 80’s workout video dancers. And they gave us a special pin for watching it on Leap Day. Double win.

    We had to fight for this picture with Darth Vader. Seriously, people, you just don’t mess with my sister-in-law. She’s married to a marine so she has badassery via osmosis. She plays roller derby so she has badassery in her own right. She’s all tatted up (including a skull that looks like it should be Klingon, that one is my favorite) so basically she’s just badass all around. Here’s what happened…

    Don’t come between a fangirl and her Vader

    We were hanging out by the totally random rave party for about 5 minutes while Troi said hi to a friend of hers.  As we were leaving we saw Darth Vader and two stormtroopers walk by.  Game Over for Troi, the girl is borderline obsessed with Vader.  So we follow them and see a line to take a picture with them. It’s kind of long, but shit, so are all the other lines so we get in it.  They say that Vader and friends are going to be there for half an hour.  The way the line is moving we’ll totally get to the front in time.  Ten minutes later one of the girls working the line…don’t know her name so we’ll just call her Evil Whore….starts shouting that Vader is only going to be there for 5 more minutes.  The person behind us in line has a schedule of his appearances and says not to worry, he’ll be back at midnight (in about 20 minutes or so).  We have nothing better to do because, at this point, we’re still under the delusion that people will clear out of the park after the parade at 1am, so we decide to wait.  About 5 minutes later the stormtroopers come back sans Vader (so they’re obviously following this so-called schedule they’ve given out).  Troi gets a little anxious and goes up to EW and asks when Vader is coming back. EW says it won’t be for about another half an hour.  Troi very nicely says that she would like to wait for Vader and that other people can go in front of us in the line if they want a picture with just the stormtroopers.  EW flips the fuck out.  She says that we have to take pictures with just the stormtroopers or we can’t have pictures at all.  Troi comes back to the line fuming.  Everyone around us wants to know what’s going on and why Vader isn’t there.  Troi fills them in on what EW said and states that she’s not moving.  She’s waiting for Vader and EW can suck it.  Everyone else decides that they are going to do the same.  We get to the front of the line and refuse to move.  EW starts yelling at us.  We start calmly explaining our position.  EW starts threatening us.  We start not so calmly explaining our position and all the ways in which she’s failing at her job and how she’s a lying liar who lies.  A grandma behind us points to her crying grandson and totally uses him as a pawn against EW.  It was epic.  EW threatens to call over security or management.  We tell her to please do.  The Manager comes over and wants to know what’s going on.  Troi is our unofficial spokeswoman and she very nicely tells him the whole story. EW is standing next to him with her arms crossed and a smug look on her face.  The Manager….don’t know his name so I’ll just call him Awesome Manager Dude….TOTALLY AGREES WITH US.  The smug look very quickly evaporates from EW’s face, only to be replaced with a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.  AMD quickly forms a second line for those who don’t mind having a picture with only stromtroopers…mostly made up of people who happened to be walking by (I felt bad for the poor troopers, they had no idea what was going on and we wanted to tell them that it had nothing to do with them).  EW walked up and down the line saying that there was a second, faster line for the troopers and NO ONE MOVED.  Seriously, it was like some crazy, instantaneous brotherhood of nerds that was as mad as hell and they weren’t gonna take it anymore (bonus points if you know what movie I stole that line from).  Darth Vader came back out about 5 minutes later and we got our GD picture.  Justiccccce!!!  I’m not gonna lie, the experience restored my faith in humanity a little.

    After that we said screw it and got in the long ass line for Star Tours.  We quickly formed “fleeting line friendship #1” with a guy named Chris who had come to the park (han) solo.  He explained to us how they had a giant X-Wing in the room we were waiting in during the previews of the revamped ride.  He was kind enough to email me a picture of it.

    Tada! Thanks Chris, it was nice to meet you!

    The good thing was that this was the best scenario combo I’d seen yet for the ride. The bad thing was the 10 drunken idiots behind us that were shouting the whole time.  Made soooo much worse by the fact that one of them was chosen to be the rebel spy. (I might be just a little bit bitter that I’ve never been chosen as the rebel spy…ahem)

    In line for Pirates and eagerly anticipating being able to sit down in the boat

    After a quick jaunt over to Pirates of Caribbean (in which the girl we’d been talking to in the seat behind us fell asleep and had to be shoved off the ride), it was 4am and our last chance to ride Space Mountain.  We had been hopeful that the line would die down, but nope, there was a 140 minute wait.  We quickly formed “fleeting line friendship #2” with a lady about my mom’s age who had flown in from Arizona that morning on the 7am flight, taken a Super Shuttle to Disneyland, ridden rides all day/night by herself, then was going to take the shuttle to the Disneyland hotel, the hotel shuttle to the airport and catch a 8:30am flight back to Arizona.  The woman was a frakking rockstar.

    I was on my 3rd Redbull by this time

    By the time we got off Space Mountain it was 6am and the park was closing for 4 hours before they opened again at 10am.

    Yes, I took a picture of the clock saying that it was 6am

    We walked down Main Street with the rest of the crazies…surprisingly few people considering how crowded it was all night.  We found a drunk guy in a Ninja Turtle snuggie and had to stop and take a picture with him.

    I’m pretty sure he was passed out on the sidewalk just moments before

    We high-fived the Management team who were all lined up wearing Mickey hands and shouting “We did it!”

    High-fives bitches! Now get your drunk asses out of our park!

    We walked past the ticket booth where people were already lined up to buy tickets for the park that day.  I know it sounds weird, but it was sort of a spiritual experience walking through Disneyland while the sun came up.

    Dawn at Dland

    Maybe it was just the exhaustion, but that was the first and only point where I thought “dude! I was just a part of history!”

    It says: I took the leap and didn’t sleep. I pulled an all-nighter at Disneyland.

    I’m glad I did it but I will never, ever, ever do that again.

    Never.

    Probably.

    We survived! Now lets get the fuck out of here.