Hot Nerd Girl

Category: Books

  • Book Review – “Snyper: A Matter of Caliber” by J. Meredith Harmon

    Snyper_revised_cover4_6x9_730 wHNG

    What would happen if the Greek gods of Olympus were real and lived among us? What would they do with themselves? Would they have jobs? Would they be destructive or productive members of society? What if there were other mystical creatures that walked among us? Beautiful women who burst forth from trees fully grown, three-headed puppies, immortal ex-wives…

    Harmon hanging out in Phil’s neighborhood

    Such is the world created by  first-time author J. Meredith Harmon in Snyper: A Matter of Caliber, the first in a planned seven part book series. Our protagonist is Phil Bowman (a rimshot-worthy moniker if there ever was one) aka Eros aka the god of love. After playing a role in one of the most defining moments of American history, we find Phil retired from shooting people (both for love and to death) and working as a Private Investigator in New York. He’s divorced and bitter and his life is spiraling out of control. He has no idea why and no idea how to stop it despite his best misguided efforts.

    The gods and goddesses deserve their own reality show. “The Real Housewives of Olympus” or “Days of Our Immortal Lives.” The amount of scheming and backstabbing that goes on is impressive, especially given the fact that they are all related to each other in more ways than one (limited dating pool and all). It’s a twisted and complicated family tree that deserves a chart like this to keep it all straight. Every one of them has a love-hate relationship with everyone else and yet, they are family and those roots run deep.

    We hear about but never see Zeus, Hades, or Apollo.  I think that Harmon is saving them for later. In fact, aside from Phil and Heracles, we mostly see the goddesses and female chthonics like Persephone, Hecate, Demeter, Athena and Aphrodite. Phil seems to surround himself with the fairer sex, for good and for bad. Whether that’s consciously or unconsciously on his part, I’m not sure, but it makes sense because he’s a bit of a scoundrel and the women in his life can’t help but want to save him. He’s a bit like Malcolm Reynolds in that way.

    Eros before life knocked him down a few pegs

    There are plenty of nods to nerdom, mostly from Phil’s nymph secretary, Ashley, and his nutty Aunt Minnie aka the goddess Athena. They include references to Stargate, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Avatar, Firefly, Watchmen, Star Wars, Underworld, Battlestar Galactica, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Veronica Mars, 300, Clash of the Titans, Hercules, Xena: Warrior Princess, Charmed, and even one snide comment about Twilight. Even her nickname, Ash, makes me think of the Evil Dead films. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t identify with Ashley. Aside from the obvious nerdiness, we share a quirky sense of humor, a naïve innocence, and an inner strength that is slowly but surely making us braver about venturing out into the real world.

    Meliai, mythologic nymphs of the ash tree

    The lovely part about Snyper is how seamlessly Harmon weaves the multiple storylines, much like one of Aunt Minnie’s Arnold’s cat map tapestries. No one is exactly who they seem to be and some will downright surprise you. It’s quite impressive for a first time author.

    Reading Snyper, you almost believe that magic is real; that the woman sitting next to you on the bus might be Athena and you would be none the wiser. It’s an intriguing thought and Harmon manages to bring it to life in exciting and innovative ways.

    Some hilarious moments:

    When Charon pulls up the decking to reveal that his ferry is secretly motorized.

    The nymphs posing for Phil like Playboy pin ups and trying not to be obvious about it but failing spectacularly.

    Ash running from Hecate because she thinks that the chthonic goddess is a vampire.

    Molly the hell-mutt peeing in Phil’s bed. Repeatedly.

    Who wouldn’t want a three-headed puppy?!

    There are some truly gut-wrenching moments as well but I can’t reveal them without giving too much away.

    Harmon came up with the concept of this book 22 years ago, spent four years fleshing it out, and only recently set it loose upon the world. It’s definitely worth the read, especially if you’re into mythology, which I am. It’s fun to see the gods and goddesses fleshed out and immensely imperfect despite the control they wield over all our lives. I highly recommend it and I eagerly anticipate the sequels.

    For more, read my Nerd BFF Geek Outlaw’s review. It’ll make you LOL. Cause he’s funny and stuff.

    Buy Snyper: A Matter of Caliber HERE.

  • Book Review – “The Reverent Surrender” by James Finster

    “Whatever journey he embarked on when his last breath emanated was a glorious one.”

    An old friend of mine just wrote a book. It’s called The Reverent Surrender and it’s about his Dad. It’s about tragedy and hope and confusion and pain and joy and above all, love. It’s about the lessons we learn when someone close to us chooses to end their own life and how the author came to terms with that fateful decision.

    “It’s a natural progression for someone to struggle with emotions you feel the deceased can no longer feel.”

    HNG and James in 6th grade

    I met James in the 5th grade. My family moved to a new town in the middle of the school year. Having a Dad in the Navy will do that to you. Being the new kid, I got teased some but mostly ignored. During that time, one of the few people who were nice to me was a kid named James Finster. I never forgot his kindness. All the way through our senior year of high school I perked up whenever I saw him. I genuinely cared about his well being. We all have our problems that we don’t make public but he always seemed ok and that definitely gave me a sense of satisfaction. We didn’t run in the same circles but for some reason our life paths came together at points in some very random ways.

    “I have been no saint in this life. I have many regrets, and bad decisions seem to dictate the reality that is my life at times. But I am happy and content with what I have and what I have become, though I sometimes simply wander aimlessly, enjoying the moment.”

    After high school I lost touch with 99.5% of the people I’d known. I didn’t do it on purpose but I went away to college and was insanely busy. I’ve gotten back in touch with a lot of people thanks to facebook, one of the most recent being James. I was surprised and elated to hear that he’d written a book. Then I saw what it was about and my heart sank. I’d had no idea that he’d been through this. Even though we’ve always been friends from afar, I would have liked to have given him a big hug. A small attempt at repaying the kindness he’d once shown me.

    “There are moments of despair and there are moments of happy memories. I think a lot of it depends on one’s ability to process the reality of the situation and apply it to their life without bitterness or contempt.”

    Then I read the book. And I learned so much about the kid he was and the man he had become. I’m fiercely proud of him. It’s a bit strange to read something so deeply personal from someone you’ve known and admired for so long but haven’t had contact with in several years. James has an incredible memory and as we’ve talked about the book these last couple of weeks, he’s been jogging my comparatively crappy memory and reminding me about things I’d long forgotten..

    “We must look at anyone who has passed on and see him or her for the positivity they left behind. Embrace those times you felt loved by that person and carry on their memory in the positivity that they displayed in their finest moments.”

    A page from my 7th grade yearbook

    One of the ways in which our lives collided was the fact that both of our Dad’s joined the LDS church after our parents got divorced.  Boys and girls typically participate in separate activities but we would run into each other sometimes, usually on Wednesday nights at Mutuals. My memories of this time are a bit foggy but being reminded of them has made them clearer. James remembers coming over to my house and my Dad remembers going over to their house but I mostly remember the Young Women activities.  Neither James nor I ever converted and we both have a genuine respect for the people and the religion. I still keep in touch with some of my LDS friends and they are some of the loveliest people I know. While being a Bishop in the Mormon Church played a huge part in Don Finster’s life, it plays a very small part in this memoir. It’s not a book about his job, his religion, or even the cancer that terrified him and ultimately led to his suicide. It’s a book about the relationship between a father and his son.

    “As my father’s only son, his death has left me with some big shoes to fill. The problem is, when your dad never wore any, where do you start?”

    The result is a memoir that is simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming. Each chapter is a story, a situation that happened between James and his father. Each story teaches us two things; a nugget of the wisdom Don imparted on his son and an additional clue into the reason he died.

    “The hardest thing is sorting out the teachings he offered without resorting to resentment that he gave up.”

    James today

    It’s a glimpse into the life of a normal, blue-collar guy going through extraordinary circumstances. James exposes his own strengths and shortcomings with complete honesty and a total lack of vanity. It’s raw and intense. He lays out all of his youthful misshapes and mistakes for the world to read so that it’s clear just how much his father shaped him into the man he is today.

    “He had never shown me any selfishness in his life. He was always giving, always there, and if this was the one selfish thing he was going to do in his life, I wasn’t going to let it erase all the acts that came before.”

    One story in particular, “A Message from the Other Side,” gave me chills. Another story happened at the street corner near my Dad’s house. Another one happened at the Boys & Girls Club and Foster’s Freeze where I also played basketball and ate soft serve afterwards. The wonderful thing about this book is that it’s so relatable. And not just for me or others we grew up with. Everyone can identify with one or more of these stories. Everyone understands the pain of losing someone close to them even if the circumstances behind that loss are completely different.

    “He needed rest and wanted that rest desperately. This same longing to find rest was something I had wished for my father throughout his life. He always seemed too goddamn tired, and the world he existed in just kept pushing and pushing him.”

    This is not a self-help book. People deal with death and suicide in very different ways and that’s ok. James isn’t trying to counsel anyone or tell them how they should deal with their own tragedies. This book is him coming to terms with his own grief. It’s a book he felt with every molecule in his body that he needed to write. In doing so he gives the reader someone who can identify with them.  He is not alone in this and you are not alone in this, no matter how alone we may feel.

    “I realize that I may sound so wrong throwing these ideas out there. But I have suffered, I have grieved, I am a victim of this phenomenon. This is simply my take on this mysterious condition that exists so commonly in this life.”

    At 134 pages it’s a quick but fulfilling read. It’s a poignant collection of memories, a twisting pathway of laughter, contemplation, sadness and hope. It’s a literary shoulder to cry on. I cannot recommend it enough.

    “That night I sat out back on the porch, staring at the oak trees, and drank myself to sleep with Jameson and water to get my mind at ease. I rode the waves of emotion as they pushed and pulled at my heart, confused at the comfort I found with my relief that Dad was finally at peace and resting.”

    The Reverent Surrender is available at Amazon.com

  • Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – OH MY!

    Wanna make out?

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a nerd in possession of an illness must go on a Jane Austen bender.

    At least it does for this nerd.

    For someone who fancies themselves a writer (or an aspiring one at least) I don’t write nearly enough about books. Which is strange considering the rate in which I devour them.

    I don’t know what it is but whenever I get sick (I’m just about recovered from the second illness in a row) I become obsessed with something and hunt down every form of it that I can. About half the time it’s Jane Austen.

    What can I say? I’m a chick.

    So it was this last time around. I watched every version of Pride and Prejudice I own (1980, 1995, and 2005 twice), Sense & Sensibility, Emma, Becoming Jane, Lost in Austen…I even watched Vanity Fair hoping it would be Austen-esque (it wasn’t, it was awful in spite of all the great actors in it). And I finally got around to reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

    Girls! The Pentagram of Death!

    I don’t know about you but I always have a stack of books as tall as I am that I need to read.  I go through them pretty quickly but I’m constantly adding to it so the pile never really shrinks. And I just can’t bring myself to use the Kindle. I love the smell and the look and the feel of books too much. I have a BookMate and that’s good enough for me. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has been in that pile for years now. Probably longer than any other book. I didn’t pick it up for two reasons. The first being that when I got it I was on another Austen bender and had just reread the OG P&P, Darcy’s Story and Mr. Darcy, Vampyre and I was kind of Austened out. The second reason is that it has zombies. And y’all know that my biggest fear is zombies.

    And the Violator.

    And Fire Marshall Bill.

    But mostly zombies.

    But every time I went to the pile my eyes would inevitably land on the Seth Grahame-Smith redux. I knew it would be good; I’d read and fell in love with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (which I HIGHLY recommend). So on a (totally inevitable) whim I grabbed it from the pile last week.

    To my very pleasant surprise I not only loved it but it didn’t scare me. No nightmares, no heart palpitations, no slamming it shut. I even studied the pictures with glee! Though I’ll probably never look at cauliflower the same way again… but mostly I laughed. A lot.

    Mmmmmm….cauliflower brains……

    Of all Jane Austen’s characters, I’ve always related the most to Elizabeth Bennet. She’s stubborn, witty, and says things that are borderline inappropriate. I would really like to believe that, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I would rise to the occasion as a zombie slayer like the Lizzy in this version (albeit without the slow zombification of my BFF). Imagining her kicking Darcy in the face had me in stitches for a good 5 minutes at least. Seeing Lady Catherine de Bourgh make her do one-fingered handstands and fight ninjas was epic. Even the detail of modifying the questions printed at the end was hysterical.

    Take that you woeful wooer!

    And now the truth. I feel like I’m going to end up in literary hell for saying this, but I actually enjoyed it more than the original.

    There. I said it.

    Now please excuse me while I go and administer the seven cuts of shame.

    ***

    “And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

    I do, Mr. Darcy! I do!

    On to Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters!

  • A collection of random thoughts about A Song of Ice and Fire

    I mean seriously, I could totally be a Stark! Right?!

    I finally finished reading Book 5 of the Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin (which took me an abnormally long time compared to books 1-4).  As I read and finished each book in the series I wrote down my thoughts.  Sometimes they are snippets, sometimes they are discussions I’m having with myself, and sometimes it’s just me rehashing something that happened so that I can work it all out in my head.  Writing crap like this down is just something I’ve always done.  I’m not really sure why.

    I did not edit these random thought nuggets so BE WARNED THAT THERE ARE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD and if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read those sections.  As a bonus I wrote down my brain farts while watching the first season of the HBO Game of Thrones TV show.  I’m not including any of my thoughts on the second season because it’s still in progress and some folks wait for the DVD’s to come out, etc etc.

    So here you go, a glimpse into the way my brain works 😉

     

    Game of Thrones

    Having descended from Nordic peoples, I have a feeling I would totally dig living at Winterfell.

    I want a direwolf.  Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

    George, I’m not gonna lie, I’m more than a little pissed that you killed off my favorite Lord.  I’m sure his death is going to play a huge part in the books to come but I really thought he was going to get out of there and live to fight another day.

    I will comfort myself with Ned Stark cake pops

    I love Arya. Probably because she reminds me of me at that age, a scraggly, scrawny tomboy running around with all the boys having adventures.  I had no use for Barbies except when I needed someone for GI Joe to rescue from the dinosaurs. I would have loved nothing more than to have had a private “dance” instructor back then…actually, that still holds true today.

    Dance monkey, dance!

    Yeesh Lysa.  Somebody get this girl some heavy medication.

    Poor Bran.

    This Littlefinger dude is more trouble than he seems.

    “No Ser Jorah, it’s totally cool.  I’m just gonna walk into this burning funeral pyre, mmmkay?  It’s all good.”  I can see why Ser Jorah would have his doubts.

    Way to find your girl power Daenerys!

    So wait, what’s the difference between an “Other” and a “Wight”?  Ok, got it.

    Wow. Joffrey is an asshat.

    Thank gods my brother isn’t like Viserys, I’d probably kill him too.  Khal Drogo wins the “most creative way to kill a douchebag” award.

    Incest is the best, put your sister to the test. Now please excuse me while I vomit profusely.

    Theon, you sound like a sexy beast.  I kind of dig it how you smirk all the time as your way of sticking it to the man.  You might be my crush in this series.

    Clash of Kings

    GDit Theon Greyjoy, you little shit.  I used to have a sort of crush on my mental image of you with your cocky little smile and your bad boy attitude, but now I just want to go bloody mummer on your ass.  How dare you sir!  How dare you hurt Old Nan!

    Sansa is my least favorite of all the Starks…so why do I cry the ugly cry during her parts?!? I love Arya and she’s going through way more crap than Sansa is but I don’t even get verklempt during Arya’s parts.  I think it must be because Sansa is so helpless and defenseless.  Arya’s got skillz and can take care of herself but Sansa can only whimper while Joffrey is abusing her.  I will say that Sansa has grown on me though.  I wanted to strangle her myself while reading Game of Thrones.

    Poor poor Bran…oh wait, nevermind.

    So wait, Melisandre gives birth to murderous shadow babies?  WTF??

    Hodor.  Hodor?  HODOOOOOOORRR!!!!

    It’s true. Cause he’s huge. You’d probably get knocked down. Yeah.

    Sucks to be Ser Seaworth.  Say that 5 times fast.

    Valar Morghulis?  Duh.  Way to state the obvious.

    Craster is fucked up.  How do you look at the toddler running around and think, yeah, I’ll bang her in a few more years.  I mean WTF?!??  I can’t say I blame Gilly for wanting to get the hell out of Dodge.

    The dwarf gets all the best sex.  That’s awesome.  But for some reason I can’t get the image of Willow banging Sorsha out of my head.

    I think I know who Arstan Whitebeard is….I think.  But I don’t want to say yet in case it’s BS (see what I did there?)  I love a good double entendre.

    WHY ARE YOU KILLING OFF ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, GEORGE?????

    A Storm of Swords

    1000 pages of awesomesauce.

    Hell yeah!  I was right about Selmy! Self sci-five!

    Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks that Gendry has a fat crush on Arya.

    Geez George, is there anyone you won’t kill??  Is nothing and no one sacred???

    Huh.  Well Catelyn, I honestly didn’t see that coming.  I’d hang all the Frey’s too.

    Still not sure what to think of Jojen but Meera is awesome.  I’d have a crush on her too, Bran.  Why are psychic kids always so creepy?

    Valar Dohaeris. Unless you fancy yourself royal.

    Always listen to your direwolf.

    So are all of the Stark children wargs?

    I wonder if House Tyrell is a GRRM nod to the Tyrell Corporation? Either way, the Tyrell women are fantastic.  I love the Queen of Thorns.  She reminds me of my grandma.  Except for the scheming and murdering.

    Wow Sansa, you get a lot done in this book.  I’m impressed.

    Jaime – loses a hand and becomes a man.

    Ygritte – I’m glad that Jon won’t die a virgin.

    Sam – you fucktard.  Making Jon Lord Commander was the worst thing you could have done for him.  Although I think you’re right that he was the best man for the job out of the people who were available.  Thank God Janos Slynt is dead.  I hated that asshole.

    Tywin Lannister = biggest hypocrite ever.  That kind of surprised me actually. Tyrion wins the “best way to commit patricide” award.

    Holy shit Littlefinger.  So you’re the puppet master.  I knew I needed to keep a close eye on you.  I kind of love to hate you.  You need to lay off Sansa though, it’s creeping me out.

    I’m pretty much convinced that Coldhands is Benjen Stark.

    A Feast for Crows

    George, I wish that you had stuck with using chronological order.  Just sayin’.

    So who’s the new Pate?  Jaqen H’ghar is my guess.  I can’t wait to find out what he’s up to now.

    Brienne is my hero.

    Oh Cersei.  Cersei, Cersei, Cersei.  You can talk the talk but you can’t walk the walk.  It’s about time karma bit you in the butt.

    Damn, Zombie Catelyn, you’re kinda batshit.

    Ok, so Littlefinger is a bit of an enigma to me.  I’m thinking that he transferred his Catelyn obsession over to Sansa and some warped part of him feels like he can screw over every other person in Westeros so long as he takes care of her.  He obviously wants to be king and he’s obviously the master puppeteer in the game of thrones. …. Right?

    I don’t have anything nice to say about the Greyjoy’s.  Even Asha has lost her appeal.

    I do; however, like Dornish women.

    I hope this whole Arya storyline goes somewhere super cool because I’m ready for her to move on.  Which is weird because I actually really look forward to these chapters.  It’s like a different book within the book.  I need the kindly man to teach me some patience.  And I love how Sam keeps running into all the “dead” Stark kids.

    A Dance with Dragons

    Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, George, stop killing everyone I love GDit!!!

    Ok Asha, I kind of like you again.

    And the recipient of the “character who went through the most crap” award goes to….Tyrion Lannister!  Holy shit dude.  You had, like, 9 lives in this book.

    It’s a relief to finally know where Varys stands in this whole thing.

    Poor, poor Quentyn.  Yeesh, I feel bad for that kid.  All he wanted was to make his daddy proud and instead he ended up a crispy critter.

    It’s about damn time Dany rode Drogon!  That was epic!  What followed was not so epic…

    NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  Not my Jon!!  And how many times do I have to tell you Stark kids not to leave your direwolves behind?  Ugh.  Littlefinger was right about you lot in that regard.

    Season 1 of HBO’s A Game of Thrones

    God bless HBO and their penchant for gratuitous nudity.

    Director Tim Van Patten’s brother makes my cat’s food.

    Robb Stark.  I’d hit that.

    Renly’s gay???  That was made up for the show right? Cause I don’t remember getting that impression in the books.  But I guess I just missed it.

    From now on, whenever I hear the Johnny Cash song “Ring of Fire” I will have a very distinct picture of Dany in my head.

    I probably would have avoided this little experiment

    Theon, you don’t look like how I imagined you in the books but I didn’t want to punch your face in right away so you’re a good actor at least.

    Jon Snow.  I’d hit that.

    That’s a whole lotta penis and vajayjay.  Most were cool but I’m pretty sure I saw Pycelle’s and that was just totally unnecessary.

    When you play the game of thrones, either you win or you die. There is no middle ground.

    And that wraps up my Game of Thrones wrap up.  Sorry if this gives you an epileptic seizure but I thought it was really cool.

  • Thirsty Games – The Hunger Games Drinking Game

    Note from HNG: Hey Nerds and Nerdettes, your favorite virtual drinking buddy is back!  You may remember Vivian’s fantastic Firefly Drinking Game post (or not, depending on how drunk you got while playing it) and this time she’s created a Hunger Games Drinking Game that will make you Rue the day you didn’t drink while reading it (what? too soon?)  So without further ado, heeeeeeere’s Vivian!

    Hey there! Guest Nerd Girl Vivian again. Since you were all so incredibly supportive of my last admission of addiction, I thought I’d share another one with you. And that is… books. Books are great. Books are underappreciated. And books are sexy. There’s a vicious cycle that I’ve been caught in for many, many years. It goes something like this:

    Step 1: Fall in love with a book.

    Step 2: Find out a movie is being made based on said book, and get very excited.

    Step 3: Be disappointed with the movie.

    In case of sequels, repeat.

    And so it was with The Hunger Games. I was a little late to this party, and I didn’t start the first book until just a few months ago. But I made up for my tardiness with unabashed, obnoxiously vocal adoration. I was that person who worked “that’s like when Katniss…” into every conversation. If woman and young adult literature could wed, I would ask these books to be mine forever. And we would honeymoon in District 7.

    I was so devoted to the books that I resisted watching the movie trailers or clips, or looking at the casting choices, until I’d finished the series. (I had the same strategy for the Harry Potter movies, which only lasted through about four of them before I caved.) I just didn’t want anyone else’s images in my head, and I also didn’t want to be disappointed. But then, immediately after finishing the third book, I did watch the trailer, and… daaaaammmn. It was so beautiful. And thrilling. I don’t think I exhaled through the whole thing. And my expectations for the movie shot sky high. To be fair, I was not actually disappointed by the film. I loved it. I had issues with it, but when a movie focuses on a girl whose major personality trait is her inability to outwardly express her thoughts and feelings, a lot of the book’s magic will inevitably be lost, and I accept that. Overall, the movie served as a sort of Cliffs Notes companion to a book I can’t get enough of. So I enjoyed every minute of it. (Well, almost every minute. I found Cinna’s scenes maddeningly boring and those damn CGI mutts were doomed to suck. Also, “enjoyed” is a really strange word to use when describing a movie about kid killing.)

    So this one-trick capitol-engineered pony is back, with a new literary drinking game for all of you who love these books like I do, and for those who just want an excuse to drink alone. Cause why should drinking games be reserved for movies? Answer: they shouldn’t. I suppose that this could feasibly be played with the film, but as a friend of mine so harshly put it “the alcohol intake would be just as watered down as the emotional impact of the movie.” Zing. So, really, enjoy a book. And a beer. Let your young adult fiction flag fly. (Note: This game is specifically based on the first book. I don’t think it would carry over to the other two very well. Or prove me wrong.)

    Let the First Annual Thirsty Games begin! And may the odds be ever in your favor!

    Drink when:

    Katniss fires an arrow. This seemed like the logical place to start. Drink twice if she misses her target.

    Drink.

    Anyone uses the words “Girl on Fire.”

    Anyone climbs a tree.

    There’s a lot of time spent hanging out in trees. Maybe next time, bring a book. And a beer.

    Katniss has a foodgasm. Suzanne Collins spends whole pages describing those meals, and it’s one of my favorite things about the book that really couldn’t be adequately conveyed in the film.

    Katniss expresses naïve statements about not understanding her feelings for Peeta or Gale. Oh, the wonderful romantic confusion of young love triangles… whilst trapped in an arena of death, broadcast to an entire nation. Sure, not an easy situation; but still, that girl is as dense as District 12 bread.

    She mentions her mother’s depression. Cause, ya know, just drink away those my-husband-was-killed-in-a-mining-accident-and-now-my-daughters-and-I-are-going-to-starve blues.

    Katniss (or anyone, if you’re going all out) incurs bodily injury (but doesn’t die).

    Drink twice for emotional injury described as physical pain. Katniss is so emotionally closed off that feeling feelings gives her chest pain and makes her throat close up. That’s my kind of girl.

    Drink when Haymitch drinks. Drink twice when he vomits.

    Here’s the big one: Drink for each tribute projected in the sky. That first night is a doozy!

    And, just for funsies, some themed drinks!

    The Capitol

    1 part Goldschlager

    2 parts Sprite

    1 dash grenadine

    serve in a highball or martini glass, rimmed with pink/green/some unnaturally artificially colored sugar

    Girl on Fire

    3/4 shot of Amaretto (almond liqueur)

    Top off with Barcardi 151.

    Light the shot on fire. (Yes, light it on fire. Be careful, please.)

    Drop the shot in a half-filled pint glass of beer, and down the whole thing.

    The Haymitch

    Gin.

    Enjoy!