Hot Nerd Girl

Category: Reviews

  • Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – Live!

    HNG with cast members Nathan Turner, Michael Minto, Zack Wolfe and Jane Lui

    First off, a disclosure.  I have never seen the original online Dr. Horrible starring my beloved Neil Patrick Harris (NPH), Nathan Fillion (NF) and Felicia Day (FD).  It’s true.  As much as I heart Joss Whedon, I have never been big on watching TV online and, to be honest, I’m lucky to have time to watch good ol’ fashioned television TV.  I thought about watching it before driving down to San Diego but two things held me back.  One, this move from LA to SD is killing me and every spare moment is going into packing and prepping.  Two, I kind of wanted to see the show on its own merit so that I wouldn’t be tempted to compare it to the Whedon’s Writer’s Strike pet project.

    HNG age 12. Admit this is an EPIC win.

    Another disclosure, I’m a huge theatre nerd.  I come from a theatrical background and have been performing most of my life.  I have a deep appreciation for the time and effort that goes into putting together a production.  Needless to say, I was very, very excited to see this show.

    The evening started off with Gam3rs: The Play, a one-man show about an extreme gamer and his attempt to wage an epic RPG battle in the middle of a work day.  The premise was clever and the actor/co-writer, Brian Bielawski, was great as the spastic and obsessive Mountain Dew drinker “Steve.”  I dug the myriad of obscure nerd references and character voices he whipped out.  Nary a line was said that wasn’t culturally significant in the geek lexicon.  Having done one-(wo)man shows myself, I know how challenging it can be to pull off and I think he did an admirable job.  I guessed the ending the very first time the boss came out but I chalk that up to my superhuman ability to guess the ending of virtually everything I watch.  Seriously, it’s bizarre.  That said, I smiled and laughed throughout the whole show and truly enjoyed watching it.  If you’re into WoW, D&D, FF, Diablo, DQ or any of the other fantasy-based RPG’s, you will appreciate this show.  Part of my press packet included a “made of awesome” pin which, I must admit, is pretty awesome.

    Onto the main event!

    Like I said, I’ve never seen the original Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog so I really didn’t know what to expect from the Live! version.  I figured, if it’s created by Joss Whedon then it’s got to be good!  Andy Lowe and Co. did not disappoint.  There was great deal of creativity that went into this in the form of shadow play. My friend (who has seen the original) wasn’t sure how they were going to pull off certain scenes and the shadows seemed to fill in those blanks for him.  As a Dr. H virgin, it made perfect sense to me to use them as a storytelling tool.  One thing we were both shocked and impressed by was when they brought out an actual van that had been cut in half and attached to a flat for Captain Hammer’s introduction.  Rarely do you see such a feat on a large stage let alone one that is relatively small like 10th Avenue Theatre’s.

    Fun with shadows! (photo by Christina Rogers)

    There were some seriously amazing voices on that stage.  Nathan Turner (Dr. Horrible) was utterly charming whether he was in “aspiring evil genius” mode or “awkward nerd likes pretty girl” mode.  You can tell that he’s a stage veteran and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment that he was performing.  I was surprised to read in the program that this is Jane Lui’s (Penny) first time acting.  Very impressive.  Both her voice and her demeanor are very sweet and she’s completely adorable.  Seriously, I wish I could pull off her awesome hairstyle.  Check out her music, it’s lovely.  Michael Minto (Captain Hammer) is delightfully cocky and obviously having a lot of fun playing a character with such bravado.  I can totally picture Nathan Fillion (*sigh*) playing this role.  The rest of the ensemble cast has some wonderful moments but one in particular was my favorite actor in the whole show.  Zack Wolfe does double duty as Moist and an extremely flamboyant Captain Hammer fan.  Even before he made his first appearance as Moist he was catching my eye as a background singer/dancer in the first laundromat scene and from then on I kept finding my attention wandering in his direction.  I can’t even count the number of times he made me LOL.  When I met him at the after party I think all I could blurt out was “seriously dude, hilarious.”

    Dr. Horrible and Moist (photo by Christina Rogers)

    Speaking of the after party…it was great to finally meet Andy Lowe, the Director and champion of this noble effort, after corresponding via email.  I found him to be warm and engaging and genuinely passionate about this project.  The cast members were awesome and friendly.  It seems like a kick ass group to work with.  The rooftop space is the home of other parties related to Gam3rCon and if you get a chance, you should definitely check it out.  You will be rewarded with lots of string lights and some seriously gorgeous views of downtown San Diego.

    With Director Andy Lowe and fellow HNG Joy

    The after party also marked the first time ever that I’ve been recognized in person.  Like many nerds, I tend to be shy and a bit socially awkward (hopefully it wasn’t too obvious) so having someone say “Hey, you’re Hot Nerd Girl!” was kind of trippy and kind of awesome all rolled up into one big burrito of weird.  I’m not really sure what that means but I’m rolling with it.

    In conclusion , if you are heading to San Diego for Comic-Con, you should really swing by Gam3rCon and check out the tournaments and plays.  You can get more information about all of the festivities at www.gam3rcon.com. And hit www.iwanttosingalong.com for more on Dr. Horrible Live!

    Go.  Now.  Don’t make me shoot you with my Freeze Ray.

    Don't be fooled by my innocent looking exterior, Bad Horse has nothing on HNG

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 – the End of an Era

    The other Incredible Trio – HNG, Hayden and Melanie

    Yes, I cried.

    Quite a bit at one point.

    And while the scenes were touching and poignant and emotional and all that good stuff, a large part of it was a sense of mourning that this was it.  No more books and now, no more movies either.  The posters and billboards plastered everywhere are clear: “It All Ends.”  Truth in advertising for once.  And for once, I’m devastated that it’s actually true.  I went through this emotional rollercoaster after reading the final book as well and it’s certainly not a new thing for me.  When I truly commit myself to a franchise (especially books) I go through major withdrawals when it is finished.

    Here’s the thing about Harry Potter and the genius of JK Rowling…yes, you know that it is a global phenomenon and that you are far from unique in your passion for Harry and Hogwarts, but it feels as though it has been written just for you and you alone.  I can think of no greater praise for an author.

    Below are some thoughts that I’ve jotted down after seeing the final film.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mObK5XD8udk&feature=related]

    If you haven’t read the books or seen the last movie and plan to, you know what I’m about to say: spoilers, spoilers, spoilers!!

    1. Certain characters have really gotten ignored in the movies.  I’ve already lamented the underuse of Fleur and Bill in my review of Part 1 but this movie really brought home how little we’ve seen of Lupin and Tonks in the two-part finale.  In Part 1 they tried to tell Harry that they had gotten married but before Tonks could get a word out they were brushed aside for the “Seven Harry’s” scene.  A funny and awesome scene but those who haven’t read the books had no idea that they had made a huge commitment despite enormous adversity.  In Part 2 they cut out all of Lupin’s visits to Harry.  Both the one at Grimmauld Place where Lupin tells Harry they are expecting a baby and has his freak out AND the one at Shell Cottage when Lupin happily announces that they have a son and asks Harry to be the Godfather.  Without these scenes their deaths during the first battle of Hogwarts is lessened emotionally.  Not the end of the world but sad nonetheless.
    2. In that same vein…I’m not sure why they felt the need to replace the Creevey brothers with a new character named Nigel.  Nigel’s death took the place of Colin’s but it wasn’t nearly as gut-wrenching as in the book.
    3. I also would have liked to have seen Fred’s death as he fought alongside Percy, the brother who had turned his back on them for years.  A little bit of slow-motion and some sad music as the wall explodes and Fred collapses while Harry looks at the people dying all around him would have reduced me to sobbing mess.  It probably would have been a little cliché as well but I don’t care.
    4. It was an interesting choice to have the younger students running around during the battle instead of being escorted out before the fighting began.  I actually didn’t mind this choice.  I thought it added to the chaos and horror of the battle.
    5. Ciaran Hinds was a wonderful addition as Aberforth Dumbledore.  I especially loved when they showed him leading a charge in the fight.
    6. Certain locations become as beloved as characters – Hogsmead, the Burrow, Grimmauld Place.  So I was a little disappointed that Snape’s big moment took place at a boat dock instead of at the Shrieking Shack.
    7. Speaking of Snape.  He is so central to the story and yet we see so little of him.  Alan Rickman takes full advantage of every moment he is given which makes it all the more tragic that we don’t see more of the story from his perspective.  The same goes for Neville in many ways.  I would have liked for them to go in to how it could have just as easily been Neville who became The Chose One and how, ultimately, it was Voldemort who chose Harry over Neville.
    8. The Gringott’s dragon was brilliant!  Half blind and practically albino from decades upon decades of being trapped underground.  It was a heart wrenching to see the scars and open wounds from the chains and to see it cower at the threat of being punished.  I practically cheered out loud when the dragon was freed as part of the Big Three’s escape plan.  Maybe I’ve been desensitized by violence in the movies, but I find it more difficult to watch animals (even CGI ones) being hurt than people.  There’s probably something profoundly wrong with me for feeling that way, but meh.
    9. There was a ton of battling going on in this movie but I kind of wanted more.  I missed the part when Harry runs into Hagrid inside the castle and it leads him to figure out where the Diadem is.  The more Hagrid the merrier and it was a bummer to have to wait until Harry’s “death” to see some Robbie Coltrane.  I was also disappointed that they left out the centaurs and Grawp joining in on the battle.  Especially Grawp.  We barely saw poor Professor’s Sprout and Trelawny.  Thank GOD they left in Mrs. Weasley’s battle with Bellatrix and the “bitch” line!  I don’t know why but of everything else I was sooo worried they would take that out!  Thank you Mr. Yates for not letting me down!
    10. In the book, the moment when Mrs. Weasley kills Bellatrix leads us to the final duel between Harry and Voldemort…in the middle of the school surrounded by fellow wizard warriors NOT by themselves in an abandoned courtyard.  I did like the part where they flew around together and sort of apparated into one.  That was pretty cool.
    11. Call me sentimental but I love the part when Harry uses the Resurrection Stone to surround himself with loved ones as he’s about to die.
    12. I don’t think we could have asked for a better actor to play Voldemort than Ralph Fiennes.  Like Rickman, he doesn’t waste a single syllable when he speaks.  Every second is a bit of evil to be savored.  I’ve gotten a real kick out of watching him slither these past 6 years.
    13. In the book Dumbledore spends a good chunk of his time in King’s Cross with Harry explaining his past actions and what led him to change his ways, abandoning and eventually defeating his former BFF Grindelwald.  It humanizes Dumbledore and gives him a chance to defend himself against all of the horrible things that were said about him after his death.  I honestly don’t think that Dumbledore cares about what anyone thinks about him, with the exception of Harry.  He also clarifies what we’ve suspected since Hermione told us the story of the Deathly Hallows – that Harry’s invisibility cloak is THE cloak.  Readers of the book know all of this but non-readers have been left in the dark.  I could tell exactly who the non-readers were in our theatre by their reaction to the baby Voldemort under the King’s Cross bench.  I missed at least 3 lines of dialogue while they acted grossed out by it.
    14. I don’t remember Harry snapping the Elder Wand in two.  If I remember correctly, he puts it back in Dumbledore’s tomb.  That was a little weird and caused several members of our theatre audience to yell at the screen.
    15. The epilogue was done beautifully.  My only complaint here is the absence of Teddy and Victoire.

    As I mentioned on facebook, I saw this movie simultaneously in D-Box and 3D.  The 3D was a complete waste.  I dislike post-production 3D to begin with and this just goes to show you that, even when they take a long time to “do it right” it isn’t worth it.  The darkness of the movie only further hinders the 3D conversion and anytime there was white on the screen there was an obvious “screen door” effect where I could see the texture of the movie screen material.  Very distracting.  I’m looking forward to seeing the movie again without the 3D.  That, and our theatre was too cheap to get the awesome Harry Potter-shaped 3D glasses.  Lame.

    The D-Box is awesome.  I didn’t find it as effective as I did during Super 8 but I chalk that up to them vibrating our seats every time a wand was flicked.  Sometimes right before or after the wand action so it didn’t synch up quite right.  It was the most fun during the cart ride under Gringott’s and the part where Harry and Voldemort are flying around together.

    Again, I feel like I’m speaking more critically of it then I really mean to.  The truth is that I’m ecstatic that they ended the franchise with the best film yet.  The movies can’t have everything the books do and I know and accept this.  The fact that they’ve made a brilliant movie that lives up to the hype is a major accomplishment.  I’ve seen most of the films on opening night with Hayden and we both agreed that this was a seriously grand finale (although I think Hayden and Melanie would have liked to use the Resurrection Stone to bring back Richard Harris for all of the films).

    Bravo Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson for doing good by three beloved characters.  Bravo Alan Rickman and all of the veteran actors who have contributed the genius of their craft over the past decade.  Bravo Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuaron, Mike Newell and David Yates for directing 8 wonderful films.  And BRAVO JK Rowling for creating a brilliant and fleshed out magical world and allowing us to visit it.

    Take THAT Voldemort! You're welcome Harry.

    Five out of Five Sci-Fives! Yeah!

  • Autobots! Roll out bitches!

    Help me, Optimus Prime. You're my only hope!

    I saw Transformers: Dark of the Moon a week ago today.  Normally you would have seen a review of it the very next day but this was not a normal week.  Laryngitis decided to rear its ugly head and, literally, by the end of the movie I went from having that sexy Kate Mulgrew voice you get when you’re sick, to barely being able to squeak when I tried to speak.

    Brilliant.

    Needless to say, I went to the doctor and was promptly quarantined for a week.   My voice is slooooooowly coming back (instead of nothing coming out, I can sort of croak…like a frog…) and my mental capacities are returning (No, thank YOU antibiotics).

    Anyhooters, back to Transformers.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H8bnKdf654]

    Ok, I’ll admit it, I kind of dig Michael Bay.  I always know what I’m going to get and really, we need a person like Michael Bay to make movies full of explosions and boobies (not always in that order).  That’s not to say I like everything he’s ever directed.  FAAAAAR from it.  But I’ve gotten a kick out of the Transformers trilogy (that might be a slight exaggeration when it comes to Revenge of the Fallen, but whatever).

    Just sayin'

    I’ll admit something else.  I’m not a big fan of the animated movie (which is set in 2005 by the way).  Don’t hate me.  Sure, it had Orson Welles (Unicron is not to be confused with Unicorn) and Robert Stack in it, but it also killed off Optimus Prime in the first five minutes and forced us to follow some dumb kid (Daniel Witwicky instead of Sam) and a new Autobot named Hot Rod (voiced by Judd Nelson no less) that looked more like Barbie’s dream car than a bad ass Transformer.

    But I digress.

    This time around MB decided to throw every celebrity he could at us.  I won’t even try to list them all.  Seriously, it was ridiculous.  Awesomely ridiculous.  McDreamy as a villain?  Hellz yeah! Homoerotica with Mr. Chow?  Yes pleaze!  Taking orders from Marge Gunderson?  Oh, yoo betcha!  Every scene had another one.  My favorite has got to be John Malkovich.  He was pretty much continuing his Marvin Boggs character from RED but holy shit did he make me LOL.  As for the oldies but goodies, it was totally retarded how they brought Lennox, Simmons, Epps, etc, etc  all back together but whatever.  It IS Michael Bay we’re talking about.

    On to more important things.  Like Victoria’s Secret models.  Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (hereafter RHW because fuck no am I going to keep typing out that long ass name) is a tall skinny pile of walking sex.  I’m going to admit to yet another tidbit.  I’ll take RHW over Megan Fox any day of the week. Her function may be to stand there and look pretty but at least she does it with class.  I cracked up every time they referred to the crazy bitch that dumped Sam sometime between this movie and the last one.  If you ask me, Sam got the better end of this deal.  I mean, RHW is so hot she has superpowers.  Somehow, she’s magically able to survive a collapsing skyscraper with perfect hair and nary a smudge on her perfect face or her white skinny jeans.  She also convinced Megatron that he’d end up, and I quote, Sentinel’s “bitch” if he didn’t beat his ass right now. “Oh no he di-ent!” Superpowers I tell you!  My one beef with good ol’ MB and his hot little ladies?  The fact that they’re always running around in high heels.  I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that I speak for all my fellow females out there when I say: FUCK THAT.

    She likes bunny wabbits

    I’m just admitting all kinds of crap tonight, but here’s another one.  Shia LaBeouf cracks me up.  No really, he does.  I’m pretty sure that Sam Witwicky and I were separated at birth.  We’re both klutzy and sarcastic and dorky as all get out.  I wouldn’t want to date him but I’m pretty sure he’d be the most awesome gay best friend ever.  Ok, that’s all I have to say about Shia.

    Now to the most important part…the Transformers.  Sadly underused as usual.  One of these days MB is going to make a movie where they have more than 5 minutes worth of dialogue.  Don’t get me wrong, the fight scenes are EPIC and I could sit there and watch them all day (especially in IMAX 3D like I did last week) but he doesn’t give us any opportunity to really get to know them.  Not even Bumblebee.  I watched the cartoon growing up so I can fill in the blanks but how do the laymen even tell the difference between some of these robots from outer space?  All I’m saying is that when you have a voice on tap like Peter Cullen’s…use the heck out of it.

    Uhhhh…this is a Deceptibot…right…?

    Going back to the animated movie…the one thing it had going for it was Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron (aka all the Decepticons mushed together by Unicron).  MB decided that Lennie should be rebooted as Sentinel Prime and that Sentinel Prime should be rebooted as a fucking BAD GUY.  What. The. Fuck. 

    To top it all off, MB gave him a face that was some kind of eerie hybrid between Spock and Captain Jack Sparrow.

    Parlay?

    Seriously.

    Bizarre.

    But nothing can make me stop loving Leonard Nimoy.  Especially when he does stuff like this just for shits and giggles:

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dULOjT9GYdQ]

    At least he had Lennie say the seminal line from Star Trek II: “The good of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” And that was only one of MANY Star Trek references (God Bless you Michael Bay). 

    All in all I thought it was a fun ride.  Lots of explosions and boobies.

    Does anything else in life really matter?

    I think not.

    3.5 out of 5 sci-fives!

  • The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

    Ugh.  I’m home sick today.  No bueno.

    I took the day off from work and was going to take the day off from blogging (especially since no nerdy movies came out this past weekend) but after catching up on Falling Skies and being asked my thoughts about it…well…it seems I just can’t quit you.  Not even for a day.

    So I’m not promising genius (I am pretty doped up on DayQuil, after all) but here are my thoughts after watching the first two episodes of Falling Skies.

    SPOILERS AHEAD!

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjroVVhe8G0]

    I’ll always think of Noah Wyle as Dr. Carter.  I’m sure he’d be THRILLED to hear that for the 100,000th time but, oh well, type casting’s a bitch.  That said, he’s surprisingly believable as Tom Mason, a history professor / Second in Command of the 2nd Massachusetts resistance fighters.  Especially once you get past the fact that the kid on the operating table is being poked and prodded by the womanizing pilot from Wings instead of him.

    I was totally convinced that Anne Glass aka the hot chick from Terminator: Salvation, was Native American.  Hell, her name is Moon Bloodgood after all.  Turns out she’s Korean, Irish and Dutch.  Oops, my bad.  She’s perty and she likes to use her hands a lot in a strange, overly graceful way.   Like she’s in a soap commercial or something.  It’s her way of showing tenderness and sexual tension during the scenes between her and Tom.  They totally want to bang, they just have to hold out until Tom rescues his middle child (why is it always the middle child that gets screwed??) and they’re on the offensive against the skitters.

    Tom’s oldest son, Hal Mason (Drew Roy) is fond of over-acting.  He REALLY wants you to know what emotion he’s playing at any given time.  It’s a little distracting.  He’s best when he’s pretending to be cocky, which he does even though he’s really a big ‘ol mushy teddy bear of an older brother.  Hal’s dating fellow scout Karen but some medic girl named Lourdes (Seychelle Gabriel) has a real hard on for him.  But, you know, an innocent hard on cause she’s Catholic and she wants to make sure you know that she prays.  A lot.

    Through my DayQuil haze I was having the hardest time figuring out where I’d seen Karen (Jessy Schram) before.  Then it hit me that I remember her playing the wife in Unstoppable.  It’s very probable that I remember this only because her husband was played by Chris Pine aka the new Captain Kirk.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  She sure is a cutie though.  Good choice for a “girl next door” turned “post apocalyptic freedom fighter chick.”  Her fate is unclear and considering the huge crush Lourdes has on Karen’s man, Hal Mason, I’m guessing that Lourdes is going to be mending Hal’s broken heart with her sweet lady kisses in an upcoming episode.

    Lourdes, Anne, Karen, Hal and Tom

    My favorite characters thus far are Captain Weaver, John Pope, and Margaret.  It’s probably because they are the hardest characters to like.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  Captain Weaver (Will Patton) is gruff and unrelenting.  Until he relents.  Which he does when someone is being unrelenting with him.  But I like him.  He’s doing the best he can with what he’s got.  And I like his ponytail.  John Pope (Colin Cunningham) is the closest thing to a human bad guy that we’ve got at this point. He’s a bad ass ex-con motorcycle gang leader until we find out that what he really likes to do is…..cook.  I don’t eat meat (ok, cue the jokes now) but I’m now aware that you must, MUST poach a chicken before you cook it.  Once you poach it you can cook it however you want.  Salmonella, I’m on to you, you little shit.  I like Margaret (Sarah Carter) cause she’s all mysterious and stuff.  I think I remember them calling her Maggie at some point.  I like the name Maggie better so I’m sticking with it.  Don’t try to have sex with her; she’ll pop a cap in your ass for it eventually.  And bringing her chocolate won’t help.  You have been warned.

    And lastly, the alien critters.  They call them Skitters…I guess because they are kind of lizard-like and lizards skitter around and can climb up walls and stuff.  These guys do that and are really hard to kill unless you shoot off two of their six legs.  Then they magically become weak and you can defeat them.  They also have robots called Mechs which are pretty much a rip-off of the toasters from BSG.  Everyone wants to know why the aliens invented robots that look vaguely humanoid instead of robots with six legs in their own image.  Apparently we humans are so self-involved that we only build robots that look like us and since the skitters did too, they must be trying to fuck with our minds.  We’re so self-involved that it’s always about us, all the time.

    Spitting image of my Uncle Lester

    Oh, and they slap alien harnesses onto our children and turn them all into slaves.

    Yaaaay!!!

    I’m into it.  I’ll keep letting my DVR record it for a while longer, see where it goes.  Now excuse me while I unfold my stiff legs from my desk chair, gag down some more DayQuil and watch The Last Starfighter.

    I don’t care what you say, Larry Santy, it’s one of the greatest movies EVER.

  • Super 8 + DBox = DBest movie experience ever

    Alien movies are pretty much universally awesome.  Even the bad ones have something going for them in the form of a grotesque, salivating creature bent on devouring some random buxom blond.  Most of the time though, alien movies are just kick ass.  When making an alien movie, you have two choices.  Make the alien friendly or make them fearsome.  Most of the time they go with fearsome.  JJ Abrams decided he wanted all of the above.

    I would expect nothing less from you JJ.

    Since Super 8 has been out for a couple of weeks now (sorry, went to Iowa, remember?) and I just got around to seeing it last night, this review is less of a review of the movie itself and more about the experience as a whole.

    What made this movie such an experience?

    Well, my nerdy friends, I have four letters for you.  D-Box.  Learn them, remember them, go out and find them at a movie theatre near you. Only for a completely new theatrical experience (and to hang out with Hayden, my friend, and frequent companion in all things nerdy) would I drive for an hour and a half in Los Angeles rush hour traffic.  Let me tell you, it was worth it.  I’m not revealing a whole lot of SPOILERS, but in typical HNG fashion, I always reveal something, so beware.

    You even get cool head flaps like on an airplane

    When the seat rumbles to life it definitely catches you off guard.  The first time it happened I thought I was sitting on my cell phone before I remembered that I was sitting in a specially designed chair programmed to move along with the action in the movie.  If it had been a different movie I may have been turned on by it (haha, j/k…sort of) but luckily aliens with six appendages don’t really do it for me.  At first it only moved when a car would roll by so it would surprise me every time.  But once the real action started I quickly became adapted and decided that I never want to watch a movie while sitting still ever again.  The train crash scene in particular was SPECTACULAR and I sat there with the biggest, goofiest grin plastered on my face while I got jerked around from side-to-side and up-and-down.  Afterwards, I had goose bumps.  Hayden and I kept looking at each other with those “no fucking way!” expressions you get when experiencing something totally epic.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/iBbEaEUqtnY]

    Strangely, the theatre only had three rows of D-Box seats in it so I’m not sure how the people in the regular seats behind us managed to sit through the movie without being distracted by our rows moving around in front of them.  Maybe it’s less obvious if you’re not sitting in them?  All I know is that the seats are so huge that my feet didn’t touch the floor and you can’t turn and bury your head in your friends shoulder.  That’s right, I was on my own with only my sweater to cover my eyes when Elle Fanning did her super creepy zombie impression (GAH!!!)

    The tickets are more expensive, so heads up about that.  We may or may not have pretended to be Senior citizens when ordering them online…

    I guess I should stop talking about the vibrating chairs and discuss the movie already (even though I know a lot of you have already seen it and chided me for being late to the party 😉 ).  This is one of those movies that has it all.  Humor and horror are somehow woven seamlessly together in ways that don’t feel cheesy or forced in the slightest.  The kids are hysterical.  Charles and Cary in particular.  I’m not gonna lie, it was a little bizarre watching Nan Flanagan play a Susie Homemaker but that was the only time I was pulled out of the story.  Kyle Chandler had some nice moments when he got to play action hero but otherwise I didn’t take much notice of him.  My main focus was always on the kids.  Kids who showed off some extremely impressive acting skillz if I do say so myself.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/tCRQQCKS7go]

    Is this the ET for the next generation?  No.  ET touched a collective, world-wide nerve that I don’t think can be replicated.  Super 8 has come closest though and really, it’s because of the kids.  The alien is large and scary but that doesn’t keep Joe from making a connection with him (I’m assuming it’s a him?) and helping him get home, sacrificing his most precious possession to do so.

    As Charles would say, “That was mint!”

    Hayden had a strangely alien-filled week and wanted to put in his 2 cents:

    “Due to my (hopefully) healthy obsession with anything extra-terrestrial or UFO related, I’m always up for a great alien invasion flick.  While I honestly didn’t plan on it, I ended up taking in Evolution, Skyline, Battle: Los Angeles, Falling Skies and Super 8 in such an abbreviated time period, it would have given Ellen Ripley nightmares.  Needless to say, after sitting through everything from an atrocity of a so-called movie called Skyline to the superb Super 8 in interactive motion D-Box seats, I feel like I’ve been personally probed in my hind quarters by a group of blind Predators.  While “Alien Week” was fun and educational, I’m ready to change course for awhile so please excuse me while I grab a hemorrhoid pillow and a bag of ice as I throw in a copy of Disney’s Tangled into my Blu-Ray player for the next 27 days.”

    I give the experience as a whole 4.5 out 5 sci-fives!

  • I saw The Green Lantern on the brightest screen, in the blackest theatre

    After a weekend hiatus from writing movie reviews to visit Kirk’s birthplace (oh and go to my cousins wedding), I’m back on the horse with one of the summers most anticipated comic book movies The Green Lantern.

    (Side note: if you were hoping I’d review Super 8 this past Monday, have no fear.  I’m planning to see it at some crazy new theatre with D-Box seats on Wednesday night so, if I do, I’ll put something together for Thursday or Friday.)

    I was stoked to see DC bring Ryan Reynolds’ abs to their comic universe. Wait….. no, I’ll stick with abs 🙂

    Wrong movie, you say? Ask me how much I care.

    As you know, I spend a good amount of my time grading comic book movies on how successful they are with staying true to the content of their origins. The problem this time is that I don’t really know a whole lot about Green Lantern aside from the fact that I live in Sector 2814 (*cue me hanging my head in nerdy shame*).  So this review is going to get filled in with some good ol’ fashioned fun movie judging. Sit back, relax, and see why I thought The Green Lantern was kind of a middling movie.

    SPOILERS AHEAD

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oazFv302DIM&w=560&h=349]

    I want to kick this off by saying that I love Ryan Reynolds’ abs… I mean acting. Damn. I’ll fix that I swear. He has boyish good looks, a wry smile and a charming charisma that even you boys can say you like without sounding too gay. IMHO he’s got a kind of Nathan Fillion-esque quality to him. Maybe it’s the water that they give those boys in Canada? Who knows. He pulls off the action sequences quite well, and even the more touching scenes between him and Blake Lively are pretty decent.

    "See what they did with my hair in this scene? It means that while I'm sexy and girly, I can still fly a plane."

    The main problem for me is that Ryan seems to lack a real dark side. Perhaps it’s just his innocence-exuding face but when he uttered the line “Because I’m afraid” I just didn’t buy it. No one else in the theater did either. That might just be him or the fact that I had no idea what he was afraid of. I might have missed it, but he’s a fighter pilot that has no problem launching his jet into the outer reaches of the atmosphere before tumbling back to earth but he’s afraid of… dying? That just seemed odd. And once he overcame his fear it felt very much like “Ok, well, that was nice, now I’m going to kick your ass.” It never had quite the gusto that Christian Bale had in Batman Begins. Uhh, sorry every comic book movie made after 2005, but you sort of have to live up to Christopher Nolan’s genius. Suck it, k? Cause you do.

    Which, let’s be honest, is incredibly difficult to do with this content. These are characters that have a ton of back story that needs to be filled in, from the Lantern Corps, their home planet Oa, and the Guardians that created it, you’ve got a lot that you’re asking the average movie goer to swallow.  Trying to include a giant backstory in a very short period of time can be done very successfully if you dumb it down enough (see: Star Trek 2009) or less successfully if it is hurried through at the beginning (see: Serenity). This one took the later approach and honestly, nerd to nerd, I was just mildly lost. I don’t really know any major Green Lantern fans so there was no one around to help smooth out the rough edges for me. It seemed to just cruise through certain relationships without developing them when I really wish it had.

    Moving on to the special effects…I was fairly impressed with them. Oa was awesome, the Green Lantern suit was amazing (despite what anyone might say). I even enjoyed Blake Lively. I guess what I’m saying is that I wish a bit more time had been spent mainstreaming this movie for audiences. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I felt like a lot of stuff went over people’s heads. Everyone I went with walked out kind of saying “meh.”  It did make me want to spend some time reading more of the Green Lantern comic books though, so it had that going for it.  I have my hopes pinned on the next movie, if they do one. At the very least, I look forward to Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool if that one comes together.

    It’ll have abs in it…right?

  • X-Men: First Class – you got it wrong but I heart you anyways

    Hot Nerd Girl could be a superhero name…right?

    Oh Lordy do I love me some X-Men.  After Thor, it is probably my favorite comic book series.  No offense to Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc.  I adore you all but I had a particular hard on for X-Men growing up.

    So I’ll admit it.  When I first heard that there was going to be an X-Men prequel, my heart sank a little.  I’m generally pretty wary of prequels.  They scream “desperate attempt to make money off of a beloved franchise” to me.  But thanks to the successful prequel-ness of the latest Star Trek incarnation, I was willing to give it a shot.  That, and it couldn’t possibly be worse than Brett Ratner’s disjointed X-Men: The Last Stand.

    I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did.  And despite the fact that it went completely against pretty much everything that’s been established by the comic books as far as character histories, I had so much fun watching it.

    So I’m structuring my review much like I did for Thor.  Because I can. Beware, I spoil the crap out of things….

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/frcCCHb9LHc]

    I pretty much fell in love with James McAvoy the instant he came on screen as Mr. Tumnus in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and my love for him only deepened when I heard him speak in his native Scottish accent.  Drool.  I don’t know what it is about Scottish accents but they sure do it for me.  He also happens to be a brilliant actor.  It’s the little things about him, the slight facial expressions, how he reacts to the other actors, those dreamy blue eyes *le sigh*

    He's so dreamy…

    Anyhooters…he was an excellent choice to play a young Charles Xavier.

    Main deviation from the comic books:

    In the movie, Charles comments about being glad that he still has his hair.  In the comic books his hair is gone by the time he finishes high school.  Too much mental power for it to stick around (be grateful Jean Grey and Emma Frost, that your mental powers didn’t do that to you). The idea of him growing up with Raven Darkholme was an interesting choice.  He actually grew up with his step-brother Cain aka Juggernaut, and they most definitely did not get along.  And Hank getting all of the credit for building Cerebro is ludicrous.  Xavier built Cerebro, Hank later enhanced it.  His first students did include Beast and Angel…but it was Warren Worthington III (later Archangel) not Angel Salvadore.  Another of the first class?  Scott Summers aka Cyclops, NOT his brother Alex Summers aka Havok.  Iceman and Marvel Girl weren’t cool enough for this movie apparently so they just got ignored altogether.  I’ve been asked more than once how Professor X became a paraplegic.  Well thank you Matthew Vaughn, because now all of those people probably think I’m a jack ass. Contrary to what First Class would have you believe, Charles was NOT crippled by a bullet intended for Magneto.  He was actually crippled by an alien named Lucifer who dropped a big ol’ boulder on his legs.  MUCH more believable thankyouverymuch.

    I vaguely remember Michael Fassbender from Inglourious Basterds but, to be honest, I never really paid much attention to him.  Until now.  Damn, that boy can act too.  I liked that he looked a little older than everyone else after what he’d been through during the holocaust and the scene in the bar in Argentina was one of my fave moments in the film.

    Hey, that dorky hat comes in handy

    Main deviation from the comic books:

    Erik Lehnsherr (who was actually born Max Eisenhardt by the by) was not experimented on during the holocaust (at least, not that I remember, correct me if I’m wrong).  In a way, his experience was even worse.  He was a Sonderkommando.  For those who don’t read up on history as a hobby (yeesh, could I get any nerdier?) a Sonderkommando was a Jew whose job in the concentration camp was to dispose of the bodies of fellow Jews killed in the gas chambers.

    Yup, that’s bound to fuck you up a bit.

    He later met Charles while working at an Israeli mental hospital…around the time Charles knocked up a girl who had been in a coma.  Uhhh yeah…we won’t go into that.  Erik does get his hands on some Nazi gold that he uses to fund his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but that was only after he had teamed up with Charles to defeat Baron Wolfang von Strucker.

    At least they got rid of that slightly slimy look

    As for the other good guys…it’s so funny to me how, in the movies, they took the scales and ran with it for Mystique.  I’m assuming it’s just an excuse to get away with seeing a hot naked chick while maintaining a PG-13 rating.  Mystique did briefly have scales in the comic books when she was exposed to radiation while saving Toad.  But the vast majority of the time, she’s just blue….and clothed…albeit scantily.  Her flirtation with Hank in the movie was cute but her true love was a blind, alien-looking chick named Destiny.  Jennifer Lawrence is a promising young actress though.  I’m super looking forward to seeing her as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games next March.  Hank McCoy and the whole serum thing was pretty right on.  Although I remember Beast turning gray when he first sprouted hair. Nicholas Hoult (the kid from About a Boy) has grown into quite the handsome young dude!  I liked the sheepish nerd vibe he brought to the character.

    As for Lenny Kravitz’ little girl, Miss Zoe is still honing her acting chops but she did alright.  I’m just glad they didn’t show Angel laying eggs or eating her dinner like a fly.  Blech.  Oh, and she was rescued by Wolverine and brought to Professor X…not found by Cerebro. I already brought up how Havok should not be in the picture yet but I’ll add one more bit.  Much like Shaw, Alex has to store up energy in order to be able to send out blasts of plasma.  It’s not infinite.  So that whole bit about him being in jail because he can’t control himself was definitely manufactured for the film.  Sean Cassidy was another puzzling addition for me.  He had a whole life as a detective in Ireland and was involved in the whole IRA thing.  Banshee was a codename assigned to him by Factor Three who forced him to commit crimes by strapping a headband full of explosives to him.  Stylish, right?  He was later rescued by Professor X but not before he pissed off his brother, Black Tom Cassidy and lost his daughter, Siryn…all of which happened before he joined the X-Men.  I honestly don’t remember much about Darwin, other than him being a ghost for a while, but I’m pretty sure he never got killed off.

    Aaaaaaand…where do I begin with Moira???  First off, she is a geneticist, not a CIA agent.  Her last name should be Kinross at this point, not MacTaggert.  She is Charles first love and helps him found the X-Men and all but in the end she ends up with Banshee.  Seriously, my head was spinning with how off her character was.  BUT I LOVE Rose Byrne and she did a fantastic job.  And damn that girl looks good in a garter belt.

    They chose Sebastian Shaw to be the main villain.  It was a good choice.  Aside from Magneto, he’s one of the most prevalent villains in the X-Men ‘verse.  Kevin Bacon cracks me up.  He’s so good at being a snarky little shit.  He doesn’t disappoint here even though it’s a little bizarre seeing him as a Nazi.

    Emma and Sebastian sittin' in a reactor K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    Main deviation from the comic books?

    They beefed up his power a bit and I don’t remember him using his power to keep his looks youthful but otherwise they pretty much nailed his billionaire playboy attitude.  As far as I know he was never involved with the Nazi’s. He was, however, responsible for the mutant destroying Sentinels.  His first battle with the X-Men was during the Dark Phoenix saga.  At that point Sage was working for Shaw as a personal assistant while spying on him for Professor X.

    Anyone know how Shaw is connected to Iron Man’s dad Howard Stark?

    Sorry guys, I couldn't find a picture of Moira in the garter belt so you'll just have to settle for Emma. Tough, I know.

    January Jones wouldn’t have been my first choice for Emma Frost but I think she did a pretty good job.  I wasn’t hugely impressed with the effect of her in her diamond state, but as many a Twilight fan can attest…getting those damn diamond effects can be challenging.  I remember Riptide releasing little projectile stakes while spinning really fast…not so much for creating tornados and crap.  I’m not sure why they felt the need to change that, other than to bring down the stealth jet during the climax…which I guess is an ok reason.  That devil-looking guy that looks an awful lot like Nightcrawler and uses the same teleportation effect?  That would be Azazel.  And he looks like Nightcrawler because he’s Nightcrawler’s daddy.  Are you wondering why Nightcrawler is blue? That would be because Mystique is his mama…and threw him down a well after he was born.  Azazel is biblical and should TECHNICALLY be trapped in an alternate dimension.  Thanks to his teleportation skillz he’s able to come here every once in a while for just long enough to knock up a random woman.  Which he does.  Often.

    It may sound like I’m being critical but these are all details schmetails.  I really did LOVE this movie.  The Cuban Missile Crisis scene is fantastic and the cameos by Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn were brilliant.

    Now please excuse me while I go drool over James McAvoy some more.

    Yup, still dreamy…

    4.5 out of 5 sci-fives

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: it just gets stranger and stranger

    Big wall o' pirates

    I know a lot of people who don’t really care for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise as a whole. They thought the first one was fun and the 2nd and 3rd ones were convoluted pieces of crap. Therefore, I had a hard time finding someone who would see #4 with me. Luckily I have an awesome Mom who just happened to be visiting this weekend. We both like the films for the most part (although I take issue with parts of At Worlds End). I guess I’m just a sucker for action adventure.

    On Stranger Tides is based on a novel of the same name by Tim Powers. It’s appropriately named since it is, well, a bit strange. Power’s novel prominently features voodoo, something that Disney opted to keep and force (not always successfully) into the world of Pirates of the Caribbean.

    Barbossa's spiffy new duds!

    I’m sure you know the basic plot, that everyone is searching for the legendary fountain of youth. It’s not really clear why everyone (especially Captain Jack Sparrow) is trying to find it. For Blackbeard (Ian McShane), it’s because he’s heard a prophecy about his death and he’s trying to escape his fate. Everyone else wants to find it for no apparent reason. We find out later why Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the Spanish are looking for it but for Jack, it seems to just be something to do.

    As for the fountain, for a secret supposedly taken to the grave by Ponce de Leon, a whole lot of people seem to know all about it. Not just it, but the rather complicated ritual you need to go through to drink from it. By the by, I’ve been to St. Augustine, Florida (PdL was supposedly the first European to set foot in Florida) so I know for a fact that Ponce died and is buried in Cuba and was not left to mummify in a ship perched up on a rock. But whatever, I’m willing to suspend belief a little.

    Fun fact: Ponce de Leon wasn’t looking for the fountain of youth to give him long life…nope, he was more concerned about it curing his impotence (how is one supposed to rape and brutalize the natives if he can’t get it up, right?)

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5AqJww06bw]

    The ritual requires a mermaid’s tear which requires capturing a mermaid which requires sacrificing a whole lot of minions since mermaids apparently cross-bred with vampires somewhere along the line. They’re hot and they sing but Ariel they most certainly are not. My mom was a little disappointed by the viciousness of the mermaids and I can see why. As the daughter of a sailor, I learned that mermaids are not unlike the sirens of Greek mythology. They hypnotize sailors with their beautiful singing and the entranced sailors would walk or dive off of the ship in order to get to them, unfortunately drowning in the process. Or the sailors are nabbed by mermaids who forget that humans can’t breathe underwater and accidentally drown them while trying to show them their sweet underwater digs. Personally, if the mermaids of my youth had been more like these gals, I would have pretended to be one more often. There was a certain degree of “girl power” to these half mermaid-half vampire ladies…at least until one actually got captured and needed to be rescued by a big strong man. Then the whole “girl power” message kind of went right out the window.

    How would you like it if your date went from this…
    …to this! yeesh…

    Ah well…at least I still had a strong woman in Penelope Cruz. She can fight! She can seduce! She can command a ship! The only thing I didn’t really care for was her borderline creepy obsession with her Dad. Speaking of which…Ian McShane was solid as Blackbeard thanks to his icy eyes. I couldn’t buy into him being a master of black magic but I got a kick out of seeing him in a non-western setting. Geoffrey Rush could read the phone book and make it interesting. His frenemy relationship with Jack was in full swing. Sadly, the person who felt most out of place was Jack and I think it’s because they tried to force the character into Jack Shandy’s role in the book. Despite Johnny Depp’s best efforts, the two characters just don’t really mesh. I missed most of the crew members from the Black Pearl, although my favorite of them, Gibbs (Kevin McNally) was there. I was uber excited to see Keith Richards again as Jack’s Daddy but was sorely disappointed by his wooden performance. This is the guy that Depp based Jack’s zaniness on after all.

    In the end, it was a fun and entertaining movie but not one that I necessarily need to see again.

    2.5 out of 5 sci-fives

  • I prayed that Priest would be good…

    If it's a staring contest you want Mr. Bettany, bring it on.

    It wasn’t. Wow. What a great way to kick off a review. More detail you ask? Well here ya go…

    To give you a little background, yes, Priest is most certainly a graphic novel adaption as so many sci-fi/fantasy films seem to be these days. It’s set in a world where apparently man and vampire have co-existed forever. And when I mean forever I mean (according to the cartoon that plays out the back story at the beginning) this has literally been going on since man was on horseback, right through up until we created flame throwers. And man somehow was just barely able to fend off vampires this entire time until the “church” was able to create “Priests” who received special training to fight vampires, thus winning the war for humanity.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/JghQgA2HMX8]

    Don’t worry, I haven’t ruined the movie for you since they explain this in the first five minutes of film. Just know that this setup colored my view of the movie all the way through. And that may sound odd coming from someone who is admittedly on Team Edward, but the fact that guns and flame throwers were no match for vampires but one dude with tiny little crucifix-like throwing daggers could mess them up, was just too much for me.

    Then again, this one guy is Paul Bettany. And I love me some Paul Bettany. He did the same growly/dark/brooding thing he did in  Legion/Da Vinci Code, which is fine. I mean, who has a problem with watching Jeffrey Chaucer kick ass? Not me. But kick ass in 3D? That one was a bit of a stretch. A good 90% of the movie takes place in the dark. Without the multitude of colors that you usually see in a movie, the 3D in it just did not work. The added dimensions get lost in the varying shades of black.

    Maggie Q did the usual animatronic acting/fighting. Cam Gigadent was actually pretty good as the young kid who chases after his love interest. And Karl Urban, you get a pass because you’re Karl Urban and I still need to watch Pathfinder.

    Dental floss… not just for G-strings jokes anymore.

    In all honestly guys, I wanted to like it. Dystopian future ruled by the church? What’s not to like? But the execution was just tiresome and the dialogue was like it was written by a fifth grader. Oh well. At least I had fun taking some of the photos for the poster 🙂

    One of out Five Sci-Fives… (but only cause I love you Paul and Karl).

  • 25 Take Aways: A Battlestar Galactica Wrap Up

    A while back I admitted to being a late bloomer to the greatness that is Battlestar Galactica…cause seriously, I’m waaaaaay too busy to watch every single TV show that comes out, nerdy or not.  Aside from developing an unhealthy addiction to speed in order to eek a few more hours out of my day, my solution was to wait until the entire series came out on DVD and then watch it all in an epic month long marathon.

    Personally, I think I made the right decision on this one.  I don’t know how people waited from week to week to find out what happened next.  Sounds like torture to me.

    I finished my marathon a few weeks ago so I thought it might be fun to do a little wrap up of all things BSG.  Some totally random parting thoughts…

    1. Anyone else think it’s funny that when Lee and Dee got married, their names rhymed?  Even funnier for me was the fact that her name became Dualla Adama.  I don’t know why, but that cracks me up.  Oh wait, Dualla is her last name?  What’s her first name?  Anastasia?  Where the frak did that come from?

    2. Oh Boomer.  Boomer, Boomer, Boomer.  There were times when I really had hope for you and then you would go and frak it all up.  I mean, really, you HAD to beat the shit out of Athena, then bang her husband right in front of her?  Beee-yatch!  I guess you sort of redeemed yourself at the end but I would have shot you in the face too.

    3. Why was Six the only Cylon who got to try out different hair do’s?  I’m sure Eight would have liked to have rocked something other than stringy bangs for once.

    4. I love how Kat went from flashing her naughty bits in D’Anna’s documentary to suddenly having to hide her past from everyone.  Damn girl, you need to get your shit straight.

    5. I’m not sure what this says about me, but I liked Saul way more AFTER he found out he was a Cylon.  Tory?  Never really liked her.

    6. Helo, you went from being a throwaway character to being one of the most important characters on the whole show.  Not really sure how you did that, but I’m very glad you did.  And dude, you’re huge.  What are you, like half giant or something?

    7. I miss Billy, he was such a sweet kid.

    8. So what the frak was Starbuck anyways?  An Angel?  I was obsessed with suns, moons and stars as a kid and used to paint them on EVERYTHING…does that mean I’ll end up like her?

    9. Dude, I don’t care if he’s a Cylon, a vegetable, a hybrid, whatever, when it comes to Anders I would totally hit that.  He was one sexy bitch.  And he waits for you on the other side, isn’t that adorable?

    10. Laura Roslin is my kinda woman, it’s too bad she spent so much time being cancer girl.  I watched someone near and dear to me waste away from that last year, it was hard to watch that again.

    11. The look Tyrol gave Tory when he saw that she had killed Cally was crazy.  When he snapped his head around like that, it was like watching a Borg or a Terminator.  It really brought home the fact that he was a machine.

    12. I love that Badger ends up being the President of the Colonies.

    13. Cally smelled like cabbage?  WTF is in that algae shit anyways?

    14. Hot Dog, I know you’re EJO’s kid and all, but this video is probably the best thing I could find of you from BSG.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/u2RuHAqvp6s]

    Oh, and you got knocked out by a girl.  An awesome girl.  But a girl nonetheless.

    15. Soooooo….are we all Human-Cylon hybrids descended from Hera?  Cause that was the past right?  Or is it the future?  Does this mean that we can blame the Japanese and their creepy humanoid robots for the near destruction of humanity?

    16. I, too, would like some resurrection technology.  Thanks Helen….uhhh…Mom.

    17. Holy frakking shit Dee.  I never saw that one coming.

    18. Really Helen, you modeled One after your dad and then you did the “swirl” with him?  That is disturbing on so many levels.

    19. TNG Number One = hot.  BSG Number One = not.

    20. Gaeta, you went from being one of my very favorite characters to my least favorite.  The way your storyline ended made me sad.  See? –> 🙁

    21. Tahmoh Penikett – what the hell kind of name is that?  You’re Canadian and your sisters are named Sarah and Stephanie.  I don’t get it.

    22. Baltar – you crazy.

    23. I kind of had a thing for you Lee Adama.  Then Anders came along and you were sort of old news.  Then you ditched the uniform, and while I’ll admit you look pretty spiffy in a suit, it doesn’t compare to the uniform.  Then I found out you tried to have sex with Starbuck while she was engaged to your brother.  Now I kind of think you’re a douche.  A cute douche.

    24. Admiral Adama, I would follow you to the end of the galaxy too.  I’ve learned this about myself.  But you kind of spit when you’re mad.  Or sad.  Or drunk.  It’s a little gross.  But I still heart you.

    25. Humans will never, ever change.  We see native peoples and just assume that they’ll want to procreate with us. Excuse me, Mr. Tribesman? Would you mind whipping it out for us?  We really need to breed.  kthx.

    Looking forward to 17th Precinct!!!