Hot Nerd Girl

Category: Reviews

  • Thor can hammer me anytime

    Holy shit do I love me some Thor. So stop here if you don’t want to read any spoilers…. 😛

    When you grow up with Norwegian heritage there are a few things you learn very early on.  One is how to make lefse with every single female relative you’ve ever had.  Two is that lutefisk MUST have been the inspiration for Klingon cuisine.  Three is that the Gods of Asgard are a source of national pride and woe be unto the person who doesn’t show the proper respect.

    So naturally Thor would be a favorite comic book character of mine.

    Kind of like with Harry Potter I’m always simultaneously nervous and excited when a movie about a character I love makes its way to the big screen.  Sometimes I’m ok when they change the story up and sometimes I’m not.  It all depends on how they do it.

    Thor the movie differs from Thor the comic in several key points but for some reason it didn’t really bother me.  Maybe it’s because Kenneth Branagh was at the helm (hehehe) and the Shakespeare lover in me adores him.  Plus I owe him for reminding me that Thursday is named after Thor (get it? Thor’s Day?)

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOddp-nlNvQ]

    Chris Hemsworth is charming and, um, impressive as the God of Thunder.  Believable as both an arrogant warrior and an amused outsider, his performance was downright disarming at times.  Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind hitting him with my car or with anything else a few times (cold shower anyone?)  He managed to make wielding Mjolnir, a war hammer that could have looked ridiculous in comparison to more modern weapons, look cool and intimidating.  Mjolnir, a character in its own right, produced a highly satisfying crunch every time it slammed into the face of a frost giant.

    Yes please.

    Thor’s major deviation from the comic book?  His lack of amnesia.  In the comics he doesn’t know that he’s Thor after Odin exiles him to Earth.  After “being” Donald Blake for awhile, he gets a whisper in his ear from Odin and feels compelled to return to a cave in Norway aka the place of his birth (oh yeah, and sorry Rene Russo, but Frigga is not Thor’s mama, Gaea is) where he finds a wooden cane.  Upon striking the cane on a rock, it transforms into Mjolnir and subsequently returns him to his Thor-ian form.  He regains some of his memory but not all.  It takes saving of humanity a few times before he gets all of that back.  Oh yah, and they sort of skipped over the whole part where Thor and Sif are young lovers.

    Natalie Portman is adorable and enchanting as Jane Foster, an astrophysicist studying spatial anomalies in New Mexico when she runs into Thor (literally).  Arrogant as he is, it would be tough not to fall hard and fast for Thor and she is no exception.  What makes her different from most Superhero girlfriends is her humorous way of saying exactly what’s on her mind, even when it’s awkward or poorly timed.  Having been there, done that pretty much every day of my life, I totally understand where she’s coming from.

    She needs to be rescued. Obvi.

    Jane’s major deviation from the comic book?  Wow.  Talk about a promotion!  She went from being a nurse to an astrophysicist!   Much like Lois Lane and any number of comic book ingénues, Jane is involved in a bizarre love triangle with two people who are actually the same person.  In the comics she’s in love with both Dr. Donald Blake and Thor, unaware that they are the same person.  In the movie, the name Donald Blake comes from a supposed ex-boyfriend as opposed to a crippled medical student.

    This was my first exposure to Tom Hiddleston, who plays the silver tongued sorcerer and adopted son of Odin, Loki.  So far I like what I see.  Even knowing ahead of time that everything that comes out of his mouth is part of a devious master plan, I still found myself believing him when he said “damn” after a frost giant provokes Thor into attacking.

    Loki’s major deviation from the comic book?  It’s been more than a few years since I read the comic books but from what I can remember they pretty much got Loki right.  In the comic books it’s a while before Loki sends the Destroyer (the nearly indestructible suit of enchanted armor) after Thor and when he does Thor is able to possess the robot (for lack of a better term) and then turns around and wreaks havoc on Hela of the Underworld…but that’s a whole different story.

    Which one of these is not like the others?

    Sir Anthony Hopkins is regal and imposing as Odin, King of Asgard and guardian of the nine realms.  His poorly timed Odinsleep allows Loki to take the reigns of the kingdom while Thor is exiled.  Oops.  There are few people who could have portrayed Odin and Sir Tony was a fantastic choice.  I don’t remember Erik Selvig from the comics and I’m wondering if the character (played by the brilliant Stellan Skarsgard) is a way of bringing in Eric Masterson way before he’s supposed to be introduced to the story.  Never you mind that Eric with a “c” is an architect whereas Erik with a “k” is an astrophysicist.  I also don’t remember Darcy Lewis being a character in the comic books, but I really got a kick out of Kat Dennings (FYI, it’s pronounced MEE- YOLL-NER not MEW-MEW, but nice try Darcy).  Darcy could have easily gotten lost amongst a cast of larger than life personalities but, to her credit, there was no way Dennings was going to let that happen.  Clark Gregg continued his meddling as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Coulson, another character that would get lost in the crowd if it weren’t for his impeccable comedic timing.  When Coulson questioned whether the Destroyer was one of Stark’s, I literally laughed out loud.

    Sif, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg (Jaimie Alexander, Josh Dallas, Tadanobu Asano and Ray Stevenson respectively) are delightful as the lone warrior woman and the Warriors Three, loyal friends and battle comrades of Thor’s.  I’ve always had a soft spot for Sif so I was pleased when Alexander did good by her.  Part of me was hoping they’d show her as a kid with her golden hair.  It would have been a great way to introduce Loki as a trickster when he chopped it off and, when forced to make it grow back, it came in black.  Volstagg shouting “do not mistake my appetite for apathy” was another laugh out loud moment.  The Warriors Three were created for the comic books and are not a part of the original Norse mythology.  Volstagg in particular, was modeled after Shakespeare’s Falstaff, a man who is innately cowardly but boats of his glorious past.  Fandral was inspired by Errol Flynn in his glory days of playing dashing young heroes like Robin Hood.  Originally inspired by the cowboy roles of Charles Bronson, here Hogun is given more of a Samurai persona, though he stills rocks the mace.

    So perty….

    Idris Elba as Heimdall was one of my favorite characters.  Maybe it’s because he reminded me of the oracles in the Neverending Story, maybe it’s because I really dug his eyes.  I don’t know, but I really enjoyed watching him.  It’s a little ironic that Heimdall is portrayed by Elba since in Norse mythology Heimdallr is “the whitest of the gods” but hey, I’m cool with switching it up a bit.  His major deviation from the comic book?  The fact that he’s actually Sif’s brother.

    Colm Feore (really, the best reason to watch The Chronicles of Riddick) got the job of portraying King Laufey of the Frost Giants (Laufey, by the by, is actually a chick in Norse mythology, but whatever).  I can’t figure out if Laufey was all CGI or was a combo of CGI and make up.  A credit to the special effects peeps I suppose.

    Seriously good CGI.

    I really liked the interpretations of the costumes, especially Loki’s after he takes control of Asgard.  It was virtually spot on.  Although I was a little disappointed when Thor got his powers and armor back and his helmet didn’t showed up.  But that’s just me being picky.  Oh, and anyone else notice Hawkeye?

    This movie seriously had the most gorgeous ending credits EVER but the real reason to stay was, of course, another Avenger cock tease featuring Nick Fury.  This time it introduced a Cosmic Cube, which is basically a cube of pure power.  It will be interesting to see how it fits into the Avenger storyline…hopefully differently than the AllSpark did in Transformers.  Loki will obviously be making an appearance in The Avengers which makes me wonder if the plot will revolve around preventing Ragnarok.

    Ok, that’s it.  I’m calling it right here and now.  Ragnarok in The Avengers.  Because really, what would be a better challenge for the team then preventing the Apocalypse?

    Joss, all I ask is that there is a least one scene where no shirts are allowed.  Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

    Four out of five Sci-Fives!

  • “Dylan Dog Dead……” And that’s it

    Ok, what with all the sci-fi/fantasy movies coming out lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reviews. I don’t want this to turn into strictly a movie review blog, but it’s nice to throw them in on occasion. And as this summer looks to be a pretty big nerd/dork/geek fest for movies (Captain America, Thor, Priest, X-Men First Class, etc etc) I’m going to see if I can slide movie reviews over to Mondays so that Wednesday can be my usual musings on whatever nerdy thing comes to mind. Like mustaches. :{)

    That being said, I’ll kick off my Monday Movie Madness with a review of colossal turd “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night“. [SPOILERS AHEAD]

    This movie had a ton of issues with it. First off, you guys know me. I love a good bit of fantasy. I’m an avid closet Twilight fan which means that whenever there’s a vampire or a werewolf in something, I’m totally willing to give it a shot. But the vampires, werewolves, and zombies kind of looked like they were made by a high school student creating special effects. I will say that the giant Zombie with the mandibles that looked like the cracked out vampires from Blade 2 actually looked really good. But everything else was kind of cut-rate. Which is totally fine for a movie that looked like it had a very, very cheap budget. The whole thing was filmed in Louisiana, which gives huuuuge tax breaks for filming there. If you watched the trailer, you’ll hear him say, “No plan, just bigger guns.” That ‘bigger guns’ moment lasted about 15 seconds and consisted of Dylan (Brandon Routh) walking at the camera shooting different guns. As he walks out of the cameras periphery, you see bodies of all the vampires he’s killed with some kind of flares in their chest or something. Come on guys, you had to go THAT cheap on the special effects that we can’t even see people getting holes blown in their chests, a la Desperado?

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCeLIa02iy0]

    That being said, I can look over bad make-up/special effects when the script is at least fun. I’ve never read any of the Dylan Dog books but the script for this one was just flat out weak. It was the trailer that gave me any measure of hope that it would be good, but it did the classic move of just grabbing any chunk of the movie that worked. And maybe it’s what we’ll call “The Whedon Effect” or perhaps “The Raimi Conundrum,” but when I see a trailer like the one for Dylan Dog I expect to see either more wit/sarcasm (Whedon) or tongue so firmly pressed into cheek you see blood (Raimi). This had neither. There were so many clinched lines that just didn’t work. It all started with Dylan having a gun pointed in his face and then having a discussion with the guy who was pointing the gun about the proper way to threaten people with a gun. Blah. It’s like they were pissing on the future graves of Whedon and Raimi. How dare you sir, how dare you. *slaps with white glove*

    "Hi, I'm a zombie. No really. A zombie." – Sam Huntington (only redeeming thing in this movie)

    But lets not lay all of the blame on the script. There were definitely moments that could have been funny. The problem is that Brandon Routh did nothing with them. Seriously. Nothing. I had high hopes that Mr. Routh could be the making of the next Nathan Fillion or Bruce Campbell. Unfortunately, he just came off as wooden and kind of stiff. When you’re so pretty you make a girl swoon (seriously, when he took his shirt off, I drooled a little) and you aren’t willing to have fun then you’re going to drag all of us kicking and screaming through the movie. Remember when Ash (Bruce) is showing off his BOOMSTICK?

    See that face? He’s into it. That’s HIS boomstick. He’s sold. I never got that from Brandon. I don’t know, maybe I was just too lost in his eyes, those lipid pools of awesome cascading down from the glorious mountains that are his pectorals…… what was I writing about again?….

    hubba hubba

    One Sci-Five out of Five

  • Sold on “The Selling”

    Between studying theatre and living in LA, I know a few people in that crazy little business of making motion pictures. Every once in a while I get treated to a preview of a film before it premiers. My favorites are the independent ones like Milk and Teary Sockets that are dark, quirky, and downright entertaining to watch.

    I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advanced screener of a new independent horror comedy called The Selling set to premier this Friday at the San Francisco International Film Festival. (MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD!)

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1A2kT1rsuA]

    The Selling is the brainchild of Gabriel Diani, a fellow San Francisco State University alumni (we’ve never met) who wrote, produced and starred in the film.  It’s directed by Emily Lou, also a San Francisco State University alumni (we’ve never met either) in her feature film directorial debut.

    Y’all know I heart me some horror comedy.  The Evil Dead series is quite possibly my very favorite campy horror film franchise of all time…in fact, I know it is and despite my fear of zombies, I allowed you guys to convince me to watch Zombieland this past weekend.  (Granted, I was still scared and still had nightmares BUT at least the nightmares were sort of funny this time.)

    Anyhooters, enough about me and my weirdness, I’m actually super excited to tell you about The Selling and I sincerely hope that you all manage to get your hands on a copy of it.  First off, the animated opening credits are a great teaser and something totally unexpected.  They made me chuckle more than once and how often can you say that about what is essentially a roll call?

    The film centers around Richard Scarry (you know, like the children’s book author) and Dave Ross, two real estate agents trying to make some quick cash by flipping a house sold to them by their beautiful but bitchy coworker Mary Best.  They very quickly discover that the house is haunted by 12 ghosts that aren’t exactly keen on having roommates (I can sympathize).

    Gabriel Diani as Richard Scarry in "The Selling"

    Much of the cast will likely look familiar to you.  That’s because many of them have been featured in one or more TV shows or movies that you’ve seen. Gabriel Diani is adorable as the protagonist Richard.  He brings a genuine sweetness to his character.  He can be a bit of a pushover but at least he’s aware of it while it’s happening.  He’s at his best when he’s showing the house to potential buyers after he’s accepted the presence of the ghosts inhabiting it.

    Jonathan Klein plays Dave, the best friend who gets them in this mess in the first place.  Once the ghosts reveal themselves he refuses to go inside again until the climax.  He displays excellent comedic timing and reacts to situations in ways that most people would…but in funnier ways…if that makes sense.  Janet Varney looks like a much prettier, much blonder version of Fairuza Balk.  I’m sure she’s a very nice person in real life but in this movie she takes her role as self-serving mega bitch Mary Best quite seriously and I found her to be the most interesting character in the film.

    That closet seems to be very spacious….

    Etta Devine (if that is her real name then she seriously has some of the coolest parents ever) is quirky and cute as Ginger Sparks (ok, seriously, how did she get the best names both in real life AND in the movie??) a ghost habitat preservationist who attempts to help Richard and Dave…mostly Richard…by making out with him…not that I can blame her.  I relate to her because I can be a weepy, horny drunk as well.

    Nancy Lenehan plays Richard’s Mom and she’s probably my favorite character in the whole movie.  Without giving too much away, there is a scene in the hospital between her and Richard that literally had me LMAO.  The person you can’t help but recognize is Brad Majors himself, Mr. Barry Bostwick.  He plays the Catholic priest, a staple in any movie featuring exorcisms.  Father Jimmy doesn’t carry his holy water in ounces, nope, he brings a liter of the stuff.  What he does, he does big.

    Oh, and Buffy fans, recognize the guy at the beginning of the trailer who’s interested in buying the house?  Yep, that’s Harry “Mayor of Sunnydale” Groener.

    Emily Lou is a talented upcoming director.  The way she frames her shots is fun and fantastical.  At times it seems as though she simply set the camera on the floor and let it work its magic.  Other times she chooses unique and unexpected angles that are surprising in their creativity.

    For an indie film the special effects are pretty amazing, especially when it comes to the ghosts.  Many of the scares are intentionally predictable (closing the medicine cabinet and seeing a ghosts reflection) and aid in the film’s comedy; however, I found myself genuinely scared a couple of times, something that doesn’t usually happen with me during ghost movies (afraid of zombies, remember?)

    I keep finding myself wanting to talk about plot points because there were so many that I found amusing but I’m trying to be very careful not to give away the movie.  The hardest part is refraining from giving away some of the best lines in the film (and yes, I actually wrote them down).  All I’ll say is that I’m totally stealing the “Sizzler voice.”

    If you’ve ever been to the movies with me you know that I stay and sit through the credits.  There are two reasons for this.  The first reason is that my stepdad is a Foley Artist and I was taught that everyone who works on a movie deserves to be recognized for their hard work.  Their faces may not be seen but their names should be.  The second reason is that there are often little snippets during or at the end of the credits that are worth waiting for.  Sadly, I’m often the only person who sees them.  If you get an opportunity to view The Selling you’ll want to stick around for the ending credits which are HI-larious.  My favorite part?  When Dave tries to open and eat potato chips in a completely silent hospital room.  We have all been there and Ginger’s reaction to his munching is classic.

    Sizzzzzzzler!

    Four out of five Sci-Fives!

  • Sucker for Sucker Punch

    {Spoiler Ahead!  You have been warned.}

    Maybe I just really like to see girls kicking ass.  Maybe I just have a really big hard on for Zach Snyder. Maybe it’s the fact that my Dad alternates between calling me Sweet Pea and Spike.

    Whatever.  All I know is that I finally saw Sucker Punch on Saturday night and I fucking loved it.  Not only did I love it, but I really don’t get why everyone is hatin’ on it.  The only answer I can come up with is that they just don’t get it.

    My Mom grew up a feminist in the 60’s and 70’s, she would get in political fights with my Grandfather at the dinner table and stand her ground against a man that is renowned for being a tough opponent in an argument.  I saw this movie with her and the instant it was over we turned to each other and simultaneously said “I loved it.”  I tell you this because it seems that much of the criticism I’ve seen has been by women that are pissed off about this movie being anti-girl power.

    Anti-girl power my ass.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrIiYSdEe4E]

    If anything, I see this movie as being about empowerment, strength, focus, and the will to fight and not take shit sitting down.  You’ve got Baby Doll who fights back against her asshole stepdad (in a fantastic opening sequence), is forced into a mental hospital and then fights for her freedom.  She just happens to solve her problems using metaphors.  She’s in a helpless and demeaning situation so she envisions herself trapped in a place that is equaling as demeaning – where girls are forced to dance and act as prostitutes – a sort of sex slave version of Moulin Rouge and a situation I sure as hell would want to escape from.

    She then takes a cue from Inception (or Scrooge McDuck) and has fantasies within her fantasy where she acquires four of the five objects she needs to escape – a map, a source of fire, a knife, and a key.  In her fantasies she battles against giant samurai, Nazi zombies, some of the orcs from Lord of the Rings, and a pissed off dragon mama.

    Nazi zombies people!

    Obvious.

    What isn’t there to like about five hot chicks kicking Nazi zombie ass???

    I might be slightly biased on that particular point.

    Like the chicas, the other main players are the same throughout each fantasy world.  The helpful old guy who guides her, hotty mctottie Carla Gugino (who I heart big time), the cook, the pyro orderly, the evil step-dad, and most evident of all, the creepy head orderly who has a thing for torturing the girls on the side.  Even Don Draper gets to play double duty as a doctor/High Roller who’s appearance provides the deadline the girls are trying to beat.

    I’m not gonna lie, I got a little verklempt when Baby Doll realized that she was the fifth and heretofore unknown item on the list and then proceeded to sacrifice herself so that Sweet Pea could escape.  I so badly wanted Baby Doll to escape as well.

    She certainly took that spike to the brain like a man.

    3.5 out of 5 sci-fives

  • A “Super” Review

    It’s been a while since I’ve done a movie review (Harry Potter/RED) of anything because quite honestly I’m one busy little hot nerd. But, when I saw the trailer for Super I just knew I had to see it.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7g74Imj184]

    Super, as I’m sure you all know because you just watched the trailer, is the latest film by James Gunn, the deviant mind that brought us Slither, about a man who has decided to become a super hero. To give just enough back story, it’s very similar to Kick-Ass but with one major difference; its way more f**ked up. Here are the main points that kind of weirded me out, without giving too much away.

    The beginning is very similar to Kick-Ass in terms of story structure. Frank (Rainn Wilson), seemingly had no real prior exposure to super hero’s before watching an episode of the Holy Avenger (Nathan Fillion) as opposed to Kick Ass whose Mom died of a brain embolism or something something SCIENCE! Suddenly, Frank has a bee in his bonnet to stop crime and does so by dressing as the crimson bolt and beating people with a plumbers wrench. He goes out, posting signs telling “Crime” that he’s coming, much like Kick Ass made a…. what was it?…. *Googles Kick-Ass*…. WTF is MySpace? Whatever…. to advertise their badass-e-ness.

    I would fight crime with him any day of the week!

    Both are obviously out of a need to feel something other than they are feeling, which kind of digs at the heart of a lot of the current super hero trend. Super hero’s become hero’s for a lot of different reasons but the most overwhelming is just to feel something different. At least as far as the movies go, some do it to get away from guilt (Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man) while others do it to make the rest of us look like assholes (Superman, Captain America)

    But those are really where the similarities end. While both movies are very, very violent, Super is more visceral in its violence. There are no sweeping ballets of Big Daddy or Hit Girl taking out numerous thugs. It’s mostly just Rainn Wilson beating people with a wrench until the very end where guns finally come into play.

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NHwsrYlDHE]

    Now Libby (Ellen Page) is where Frank gets all his super hero knowledge. She’s basically like me, filled with nerdy knowledge about comic books and stuff but in a much more demented package. Kind of like a shitzu on steroids this girl does some crazy stuff. And I mean just… weird. She eventually figures out that Frank is the Crimson Bolt and forces him to accept her as his sidekick Boltie. This is the point where the movie moves from kind of violent to blood everywhere.

    Shortly, before the cat fight….

    It’s also the point not where the movie lost me, but kind of overwhelmed me. It kind of turned from watching a super hero movie into watching something more akin to Full Metal Jacket. Everyone kind of starts to lose it and by the end I felt a little…. violated. Not in a good way, but not necessarily in a bad way. Most superhero movies leave you wanting to be like the hero, saving the day and doing some good. But this ending leaves me feeling like even attempting to be a superhero would be a bad idea.

    It’s a very honest ending, that I won’t ruin, that totally falls in line with the spirit of the movie. It’s just that this movie makes me just happy to have what I have and not have to go through what Frank went through; some very serious catharsis.

    Three and a half out of Five sci-fives

     

  • Battlestar Galacticawesome

    I’ll admit it.  I was a late bloomer to the Battlestar Galactica universe.  When it came out my time was otherwise occupied and by the time I had time it was so far in that I thought I would get lost if I started in the middle.

    Then I was given Season 1 on DVD by a friend a couple of years ago (shout out to Vetty Spaghetti) who thwacked me on the head, called me an idiot and practically threw the DVD set at me.

    She is a very wise woman.

    After getting scoffed at by a few more friends, some *gasp* not even nerds, I knew I was in trouble and rapidly losing my nerd cred.

    So I embarked on a mission to watch and absorb all things BSG.

    **Disclaimer: I wasn’t a total BSG virgin, I did see the introductory miniseries when it first came out in 2004.

    I watched 5 hours the first day and was addicted.  I watched 3 more hours the day after that.  And so on and so forth.  I threw money at Amazon.com in an attempt to get seasons 2-4 as fast as shippingly possible.

    I’m pretty sure that the moment I got hooked was when Starbuck shoved a slimy, half-biological, half-technological Cylon oxygen tube in her mouth without even flinching.  I thought, hot damn, now THAT’S a woman.  I’d like to think that I would do the same if I were stranded on a lifeless, alien moon.  I’m pretty bad ass.  I’m not sure I’m that bad ass but one never knows until they’re in that type of situation.

    Yes? No?

    And is it just me or does everyone think of Dr. Julian Bashir whenever Dr. Gaius Baltar walks onscreen??  They look like they were separated at birth.  Of course, as soon as Gaius opens his mouth (or looks over at the imaginary Cylon dry humping him) all similarities end abruptly.

    "My monogram is better than your monogram."

    As far as Dear Leaders go, ya’ll know I’m about as big a Trekkie as they come so I’m still partial to my Kirk’s, Picard’s and Sisko’s but EJO holds his own as Adama.  I could have done without the 80’s porn ‘stache he sported but other than that I have few complaints.  I do like that both he and his XO have some serious flaws.  I can hold my own in a drinking contest but drinking before work everyday?  It takes a man like Saul Tigh to pull that off.  My hat is off to you Sir!

    Back to the ladies, I may or may not have a slight girl crush on Cally.  Any girl who bites off a guy’s ear even though it means taking a bullet to the gut is a-ok in my book. Plus, she fixes things.  We have much in common.  Throw in some Dee and I might just change teams.

    I started out thinking that Lee was kind of a whiny little bitch BUUUT, he grew on me.  I definitely have no problem with him taking his shirt off.  No problem at all.  Ever.  Speaking of da boys, I have a soft spot for Chief Tyrol, having been raised by a Chief myself.  Plus, how funny and awesome is it that he got to boom boom with Boomer??

    I’m a big Mary McDonnell fan; she had alien attack cred already with Independence Day, a movie I love to this day (mock me if you must).  Her quiet strength while looking blitzed out of her mind both inspire me and crack me up.  She can pull off the bald look too.  That’s no easy feat for a chick my friends.

    And the Cylons…oh, the Cylons…I’m not going to address the end in case there are readers who haven’t seen it, but, in short, I can do without the guys but Tricia Helfer and Grace Park can feel free to stick around for as long as their little pseudo-Terminator hearts desire.  I’m pretty sure C6 is about as perfect a woman as God (or the gods) can create and if I was Dr. Baltar, I’d have constant fantasies about her too, day-glo spine and all.

    "Don't ask me where I found this, but be glad that I did."

    In short, yes, I was a dumbass for not watching the series while it was on TV but I don’t really regret it.  I got to sit back and watch them all without having to wait in anticipation for the next episode week after week.

    Winning!

  • Great Scott Green Lantern!

    I’m going to be blunt because, well, I’m in one of those moods.

    CGI suit? errrr…..

    The new Green Lantern does not look promising.  In fact, it looks terrible.  Normally I would reserve judgment until a movie comes out but after seeing the trailer before Harry Potter, I’ve pretty much seen the whole movie.  Ryan Reynolds was not my first choice to play Deadpool in Wolverine Origins but, in the end, I thought he did ok.  When I found out he’d been cast as Green Lantern I was disappointed.  Pick a comic book character and stick with it, don’t be all jumping from franchise to franchise turning beloved characters into lame ass versions of yourself.  I know you think you’re riding some kind of pop culture wave and it’s so cool and macho to play superheroes and I’m sure all of your agents and managers are just thrilled to death at the prospect of sequels but COME ON.  Have a little self respect.  You’re married to Scarlett Johansen for Christ’s sake.

    (Chris Evans, you take note of this as well)

    Not only did the trailer suggest a complete rehashing of every comic book movie that has come out in the last 30 years (see Daniel O’Brien’s spot on article here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-new-green-lantern-movie-looks-so-familiar/) but someone got a little too excited about CGI.

    There is a reason why spandex was invented.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hTiRnqnvDs&fs=1&hl=en_US]
    Nathan Fillion as the Green Lantern? Yes please.

    Too make our incredibly hot superheroes and supervillians look even hotter.  To give them freedom of movement while in battle.  To be a form of identity so that villains and victims alike know exactly who’s rescuing and/or pummeling them with just a glance at the color of their tights.

    CGI is not to the point yet where it can replace spandex mmmmkay?

    Despite the rehashing (which, honestly, I can deal with to a certain degree) the one thing that bothers me most about the Green Lantern is the CGI costume.  It is the fakest looking, most distracting part and sadly, it takes center stage during huge chunks of the movie.  And this is the origin movie.  When the quickly and poorly put together sequel inevitably comes out this ridiculous and garish costume will play an even larger role.

    *le sigh*

    I hope that when June 11th roles around I will be proved wrong and have to shove my foot in my mouth.  But, somehow, I doubt I’ll be tasting sock lint anytime soon.

    On another note, I was so NOT excited about the new Green Hornet movie and after seeing a trailer for it I’m actually slightly enthusiastic.

    Whudda thunk?

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHr9evQP89s&fs=1&hl=en_US]

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt1 Review

    Big wall o' Harry

    Every time a new Harry Potter movie comes out I go through the standard stages of movie nerdom.  Excitement, Concern, Extreme Anticipation, Fear, Joygasm.

    An explanation for those not accustomed: Excitement at the prospect of the movie itself and how awesome it’s going to be.  Concern that it’s going to be somehow lacking and not live up to its potential.  Extreme Anticipation for its release in theatres…(when is it coming out already?!? How are they going to handle that part???)  Fear that you are hyping it up too much and it’s going to fall way below your expectations and then you’ll be pissed at yourself for being excited for so long.  Joygasm that the day is finally here and you’re sitting in the seat you reserved over a month ago and ZOMG it’s going to be SO AWESOME.

    Don't be tardy to the party! WHOO HOO!!!

    Thankfully, when it comes to Harry Potter, my fears have so far been unnecessary as each movie seems to get better and better (unless you’re name is Hayden and you have a real hard on for Richard Harris – Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam).  Much like the books, the movies have gotten darker and more mature as they’ve gone along.  “Deathly Hallows, part 1” even managed to earn itself a PG-13 rating.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that it’s supposed to be a “kid” movie.

    Because it’s the first of two parts, it’s a little strange to judge the movie on it’s own but there are a few things that I would like to point out.  Depending on if you’ve read the books or not, there may be spoilers here.

    You’ve been warned.

    Hot Nerd Girl and her movie going crew
    1. Anyone who thinks the traveling/camping sequences were drawn out in the movie definitely didn’t read the books.  In the books you forgive JK Rowling because you know something big is coming and these extended sequences are temporary.  I think that David Yates did an excellent job of conveying the feeling of it being drawn out without actually drawing it out.  Bravo.
    2. Just a small quibble but George is supposed to lose his entire ear, not just a sliver of it.  In the books Snape uses the sectumsempra spell introduced in The Half Blood Prince to cut it off in the battle to get Harry out of London.  In the movie they didn’t show it post bloody mess (just wrapped up in gauze in a hilarious Big Brother scene) so maybe they will rectify this in Part 2.
    3. I’m a little sad that Hedwig’s death was altered.  In the book it felt much more operatic.  She was stuck in her cage but the words used to describe her death made it at least a two tissue event.  In the movie she displays bravery by helping out in the battle, but her death warrants only a long sad look from Harry and a small mention in the discussion afterwards.  I was expecting to need Kleenex during that part and was sad that it wasn’t necessary.
    4. Same for Mad Eye Moody.  One of the people I was with (who hasn’t read the books) actually got confused as to whether it was Mad Eye or Mundungus they were talking about.
    5. Way to abbreviate Bill’s werewolf encounter!!  I missed the humorous interaction between Fleur and the Weasley women.  Poor Fleur has really gotten the shaft in the movies.
    6. Where was Harry’s Weasley disguise at the wedding???  It’s true that they can’t have everything in the movies and some subplots need to be cut but we’re talking about the safety of The Chosen One here.  JK disguised him for a reason in the books.
    7. Nagini is awesome.  Whether she’s in creepy old lady skin or indulging her taste for wizard flesh, there’s just no denying she’s kick ass.  I’ve got a thing for snakes though so maybe I’m a little biased.  Her sequences are what had them debating the 3D conversion, I’m sure of it.
    8. The Deathly Hollows sequence was one of the greatest story within a story pieces I have ever seen.  The sheer creativity that went into it totally blew my mind.  I want to watch an entire movie of just that.
    9. Maybe I’m a sadist but I wanted Bellatrix to torture Hermione more.  You’ve got the PG-13 rating, use it!
    10. The Elves got creepier in this movie.  Someone decided that they needed busted veins and capillaries and slightly translucent skin.  Just because computer animation has gotten better doesn’t mean you should change what’s already been established.  Dobby and Kreacher were just kind of freaky looking and, I’m sorry to say, but it distracted me during Dobby’s death…that and the girl in the movie theatre who was crying hysterically…oh yeah, and her friends that were laughing and making fun of her.  Way to ruin the moment everyone.
    11. Friend-who-hasn’t-read-the-books had no idea whose beach house they ended up at.  Readers of the books know it’s Bill and Fleur’s house but they probably should have mentioned that for the movie-only folks.
    12. I had no idea where they were possibly going to end Part 1 and I was VERY interested to see how they handled it.  I was pleasantly surprised and thought it was a fabulous idea to have it end on Voldemort finding the Elder Wand. 

    Ok, so maybe that was more than a few things…and I was actually much more critical than I thought I was going to be.  But you stick me in front of a keyboard and I cease to have control over the direction of my brain.  But I will say this:  I LOVED THIS MOVIE.  I loved it so much that I’ll be seeing it at least two more times in the theatre.  At least.  I love Harry and Ron and Hermione and the actors who portray them.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Alan Rickman.  The way he chews the dialogue he is given is positively delectable.  I can’t wait for Part 2.  I can’t wait to see how they utilize Neville.  I can’t wait to see Mrs. Weasley kick some ass.  I can’t wait for more Hagrid, he’s my favorite giant among men (aside from The Tall Blog).  I can’t wait to see Friend-who-hasn’t-read-the-books’ reaction to Snape.  I can’t wait for the dramatic climax!

    In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m in the Extreme Anticipation phase.

    5 out of 5 SCI-FIVES!

  • Dear Walking Dead

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1v0uFms68U&fs=1&hl=en_US]

    Dear AMC’s “The Walking Dead”,

    We’ve been on a couple of dates now and, frankly, I’m a little concerned about the direction our relationship is heading in.  I knew going in that you weren’t my type but everyone said you were great so I figured I would give you a chance.  I’m just not convinced that we’re right for each other.  I was anxious during both dates and had nightmares about future dates.  Ten minutes after our last date my hands were still shaking, I just don’t think that’s a good sign of what is to come.

    I have to admit that your appearance is a big part of what bothers me.  I’m all for focusing on what’s inside, but your personal hygiene is a real turn off.  It doesn’t look like you’ve brushed your teeth or bathed for weeks.  You’re really starting to smell.  Ironically, you seem to be really attracted to the way I smell and when you start to stumble towards me like a drunken idiot, it makes me really uncomfortable.  It’s like you’re constantly trying to invade my personal bubble.  You also get this look like you want to eat me and there are certain things that even I won’t do in the bedroom.  Not that I would invite you into my bedroom anyway, so don’t get any ideas.

    I mean, you look like you USED to be hot….

    I also didn’t appreciate the way you treated that Sheriff on our last date. (spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen it) He seemed like a good guy even though he sounded kind of British a couple of times.  And trying to get into the house uninvited?  Really?  Who DOES that?  Ok, I’ll admit that the guy on the roof was really obnoxious.  Unlike you, I’m willing to compromise on some issues.

    All that being said, I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there who would love to be in a relationship with you.  Really, you’re a catch!  You’re smart and well-rounded.  I know it sounds cliche but, it’s not you, it’s me.  There, I said it.  I’m going to try not to let my friends pressure me into going out with you again, it’s not healthy for either of us in the long run.  And don’t you try to pressure me either with your talk of what’s to come, I don’t need any more surprises in my life, it’s complicated enough as it is. I wish you a long, happy life.

    Ok, maybe we can still be friends.  But no benefits!

    Sincerely,
    Hot Nerd Girl

    Still hot, right?

    P.S – credit for all zombified pictures of HNG goes to the amazingly talented Brett DeWall

  • Unicorn (the comic book villain, not the horse)

    I was sitting at my desk today and for some reason I started contemplating the Cold War and where we stand in our relationship with various foreign entities. Naturally, that made me think of Unicorn.

    WHHHYYYYY??? Why must I be named after something so girly??

    Oh, Cold War, along with threat of nuclear attack you brought along a vast array of Superheroes and Supervillains designed to both inspire people and feed on their fears.  And what better way to do that than by making the Soviet bad guy a Unicorn.

    Oh Stan, you wiley little devil

    That’s right, let’s demasculate the Ruskies by naming him after a fantasy horse beloved by little girls.

    Bravo Stan Lee!

    Unicorn is essentially a Cyclops rip-off created to be a pain in Iron Man’s behind.  He started out with no natural super powers and relied solely on his training by the KGB and a helmet with a laser pointer.  Later on he received some experimental medicinal aid in the form of tougher skin and increased strength, but even those came back to bite him in the butt when he developed accelerated cellular deterioration.  Oops.  But wait!  Yellowjacket has a cure!  Oh, insanity is the side effect?  Damn.  Note to villains, never trust an Avenger to cure you.

    Over the years Milos Masaryk and Tony Stark became comic book frenemies.  Milos attacks Tony, Tony defeats Milos (everytime).  Milos is apparently dim-witted and trusts other Super villains, allowing himself to be manipulated into their plots against Tony.  Then he realizes he was manipulated and helps Tony escape.  Tony tries to cure Milos but he ends up insane so Tony does the next best thing and puts Milos in stasis until a cure for insanity is found (how about some therapy, hrmmmm?)  When Milos wakes up Tony saves him from his own robot and then hides him away again.  Milos wakes up again when a fire breaks out at Stark Enterprises and insists that he must walk back to the USSR.  As in, walk across the ocean.  Tony watches Milos walk into the Atlantic Ocean where he drowns.

    Aquaman sad 🙁

    Aquaman belongs to the DC Universe and is, therefore, powerless to help.

    So the Russian guy is dumb, insane and willing to let pretty much anyone experiment on him.  I wonder what kind of propaganda we were trying to accomplish with this guy?  Of course, Colossus and Epsilon Red were also products of the Cold War and they both turned out all right.  Survive in space??  Yes please!

    I could get used to this

    Personally, I think that Unicorn is a little under-appreciated in the comic world.  He was excellent at hand-to-hand combat and could shoot a gun like nobody’s business.  Iron Man obviously felt he was a bit of a kindred spirit.

    As does Manicorn. (BTW Marvel has it’s own wiki. Check it out!)