Hot Nerd Girl

Category: TV

Review of anything on television.

  • Gratuitous Nerdity – “Gotham”

    What’s that you say? It’s been months since a “Hot Nerd Girl Podcast” and almost a year since a “Gratuitous Nerdity” post and you just can’t live without the glowing banter that is Tracy and Darcy? Well wait no longer! Tonight we had the opportunity to Instant Message about last nights Gotham premier. Premie? Premiere.

    Thanks for letting me write the intro, Trace. You most likely won’t regret it! – Darcy

     

    Darcy: Ugh… Gotham… pilot…. so bad… 80’s B-movie bad….

    Tracy: Really?? I liked it!

    Darcy: Ah, Tracy…. the eternal optimist… I’m going to keep watching, buuuutttt….

    Tracy: It’s gonna be great, I have faith 

    Darcy: You should do a blog post about new shows called “Keep the Faith”

    Tracy: Hahaha! I watch so few new shows though. Only got to watch Gotham because I had to make buttons for Long Beach Comic Con this weekend.

    Darcy: It’s a fast show too.

    Tracy: Yeah it is. seems like a lot of the focus will be on Cobblepot which is interesting. I wish that we had seen more of Selena.

    Darcy: They intro’d a loooot of main villains in an hour. Too many, in my book. And honestly, I don’t think they had to kick off the series with the Wayne’s deaths. That could have been a midseason thing. or like, episode 3. I don’t know, I’m just not seeing a ton of creativity with it yet.

    Tracy: Is Fish Mooney a new character? I’m a Marvel girl but I used to read some Batman and I don’t remember her from the comics. I thought they were introduced pretty organically though. We barely saw Riddler, for example.

    Darcy: Yeah, barely. And Ivy, barely. And Selena too. I just think they were rushed. And wanted to get enough hooks in because, I suppose, Gordon isn’t enough of a hook?

    Tracy: Well, I feel like it’s a cop show that just happens to be set in Gotham. The Boy Scout cop and the “is he or isn’t he crooked” cop partner. They don’t like each other but they start to grow on each other by the end. All cop shows start off with the case, this case just happens to be the Wayne’s murder.

    Darcy: Yeah, that’s what it’s supposed to be. I just think starting with the Wayne’s is too easy, I guess.

    Tracy: I think they did that because we all know what happens, why not get it out of the way?

    Darcy: To me, that’s midseason or finale time. After your attached to Bruce and can feel his loss.

    Tracy: Is it a requirement that we HAVE to see Martha’s pearls bouncing around?

    Darcy: Yeah, but that’s my point. That’s a short hand assumption. That we all know what happens to the Wayne’s. That’s not good story telling. It’s why Man of Steel sucked.

    Tracy: Who doesn’t though?? Cave dwellers?? Man of Steel is a whole other bag of worms lol. We never get to know the Wayne’s though, either in the movies or the comics, they need to maintain that air of mystery, that we’ll never know exactly what Bruce lost. We experience his relationship with them through his pain and his vengence. He basically becomes a psychopath, if we get to know his parents then we’ll have opinions of them and that’s counterproductive to the story.

    Darcy: Isn’t that a fresher take though? Otherwise, why are we bothering? Gordon is getting changed because we have, through this show and other comics, his past. When he first showed up, he’s the Commissioner. Why bother going back? ‘Cause it’s unexplored territory. And if they’re going to keep retreading the same ground again and again, they have to find new stories to explore. Batman Begins did. At least somewhat.

    Tracy: They are mixing it up though. We’ve never seen Bruce as a kid except in flashbacks and the brief murder scene. They are taking inspiration from the comics, but for the most part, everything is different.

    Darcy: That’s not enough of a reason NOT to show his parents though. They probably will flashback; I just disagree with how they’re handling it right now.

    Tracy: The Wayne’s aren’t the focus of the show though, the aftermath of their murder is – why drag that out?

    Darcy: Depends on how much time they’re going to spend with Bruce. I don’t think you have to spend a TON of time, but I think assuming we give a crap about Bruce because we all already know the backstory is lazy writing. This is long, but if you ever get a chance, you should check it out: http://badassdigest.com/2013/07/03/film-crit-hulk-man-of-steel/

    Tracy: See, I disagree. I think there were areas that were lazy writing (why does the mob ALWAYS have a meat locker, for example) but I don’t think starting the show off by killing the Wayne’s is lazy, I think it thrusts us right into the heart of the story and the whole reason why we’re there/watching it in the first place. I don’t need to see Martha be the perfect Mom and Thomas playing catch with his perfect son. I want to see the nitty gritty world of Gotham and see Alfred have to step up and be Bruce’s rock and Bruce have to grow up too quickly.

    Darcy: It’s all just choices. I’d like to see some slightly shady stuff on the Wayne’s part, perhaps, that he wasn’t the cleanest nicest guy in the world. Or at the very least, dialogue that doesn’t sound like it was written by a 10 year old in the 80’s.

    Tracy: Ok, well THAT sounds interesting to me. Like Bruce sees his parents as perfect, but there’s a reason why Thomas is the richest guy in town. The seedy side that we never know about and Bruce never knows about. The dialogue sounds very 1940’s gangster movie to me.

    Darcy: Yeah, it was pretty rough.

    Tracy: I think it was miles ahead of a CW show though. But this is FOX, so instead of 10 seasons of superhero origin story, it’ll probably get canceled halfway thru the first season.

    Darcy: Really? I like Arrow.

    Tracy: I like that not everyone is perfectly pretty. That differs from the CW.

    Darcy: Well, I didn’t like Arrow to start, but it’s gotten better.

    Tracy: I’ve been told I need to give Arrow another shot. I gave up after 2 episodes. I will say that DC is doing way better on TV than in the cinema ‘verse.

    Darcy: Yeah, I’m almost all the way through Arrow. I watch it while I run. Flash I’ve seen the pilot, which also moves at a break neck pace. I’m just a firm believer that most of the time you need two hours. Imagine if Star Trek: The Next Generation had a one hour pilot as opposed to a two hour pilot.

    Tracy: To establish the characters and the universe.

    Darcy: Yeah.

    Tracy: Well, the 2 hour pilot of Star Trek: The Next Generation was God awful sooooo…. lol

    Darcy: Yeah, it might improve it actually.

    Tracy: You should watch Flash while you run, might motivate you to run faster 

    Darcy: Ha. Ha. Ha.

    Tracy: So do you have hope for Gotham or do you think that it’s all downhill from here?

    Darcy: I have hope. Arrow has improved. If Parks and Recreation can overcome what I thought was a fairly flawed, shit copy of The Office from the first 1.5 seasons, then any show can do it.

    Tracy: I know that I’m the eternal optimist (most of the time) but I have hope too. I think compared to many pilots, it’s a pretty strong start and now they can get into the meat of the story. And hopefully FOX gives it a good shot before they up and cancel it if it doesn’t immediately get great ratings, but I think it’ll be ok in that regard, at least in the beginning. As always, thanks for nerding harder with me 

    Darcy: Always 

    –

  • A collection of random thoughts about A Song of Ice and Fire

    I mean seriously, I could totally be a Stark! Right?!

    I finally finished reading Book 5 of the Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin (which took me an abnormally long time compared to books 1-4).  As I read and finished each book in the series I wrote down my thoughts.  Sometimes they are snippets, sometimes they are discussions I’m having with myself, and sometimes it’s just me rehashing something that happened so that I can work it all out in my head.  Writing crap like this down is just something I’ve always done.  I’m not really sure why.

    I did not edit these random thought nuggets so BE WARNED THAT THERE ARE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD and if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read those sections.  As a bonus I wrote down my brain farts while watching the first season of the HBO Game of Thrones TV show.  I’m not including any of my thoughts on the second season because it’s still in progress and some folks wait for the DVD’s to come out, etc etc.

    So here you go, a glimpse into the way my brain works 😉

     

    Game of Thrones

    Having descended from Nordic peoples, I have a feeling I would totally dig living at Winterfell.

    I want a direwolf.  Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

    George, I’m not gonna lie, I’m more than a little pissed that you killed off my favorite Lord.  I’m sure his death is going to play a huge part in the books to come but I really thought he was going to get out of there and live to fight another day.

    I will comfort myself with Ned Stark cake pops

    I love Arya. Probably because she reminds me of me at that age, a scraggly, scrawny tomboy running around with all the boys having adventures.  I had no use for Barbies except when I needed someone for GI Joe to rescue from the dinosaurs. I would have loved nothing more than to have had a private “dance” instructor back then…actually, that still holds true today.

    Dance monkey, dance!

    Yeesh Lysa.  Somebody get this girl some heavy medication.

    Poor Bran.

    This Littlefinger dude is more trouble than he seems.

    “No Ser Jorah, it’s totally cool.  I’m just gonna walk into this burning funeral pyre, mmmkay?  It’s all good.”  I can see why Ser Jorah would have his doubts.

    Way to find your girl power Daenerys!

    So wait, what’s the difference between an “Other” and a “Wight”?  Ok, got it.

    Wow. Joffrey is an asshat.

    Thank gods my brother isn’t like Viserys, I’d probably kill him too.  Khal Drogo wins the “most creative way to kill a douchebag” award.

    Incest is the best, put your sister to the test. Now please excuse me while I vomit profusely.

    Theon, you sound like a sexy beast.  I kind of dig it how you smirk all the time as your way of sticking it to the man.  You might be my crush in this series.

    Clash of Kings

    GDit Theon Greyjoy, you little shit.  I used to have a sort of crush on my mental image of you with your cocky little smile and your bad boy attitude, but now I just want to go bloody mummer on your ass.  How dare you sir!  How dare you hurt Old Nan!

    Sansa is my least favorite of all the Starks…so why do I cry the ugly cry during her parts?!? I love Arya and she’s going through way more crap than Sansa is but I don’t even get verklempt during Arya’s parts.  I think it must be because Sansa is so helpless and defenseless.  Arya’s got skillz and can take care of herself but Sansa can only whimper while Joffrey is abusing her.  I will say that Sansa has grown on me though.  I wanted to strangle her myself while reading Game of Thrones.

    Poor poor Bran…oh wait, nevermind.

    So wait, Melisandre gives birth to murderous shadow babies?  WTF??

    Hodor.  Hodor?  HODOOOOOOORRR!!!!

    It’s true. Cause he’s huge. You’d probably get knocked down. Yeah.

    Sucks to be Ser Seaworth.  Say that 5 times fast.

    Valar Morghulis?  Duh.  Way to state the obvious.

    Craster is fucked up.  How do you look at the toddler running around and think, yeah, I’ll bang her in a few more years.  I mean WTF?!??  I can’t say I blame Gilly for wanting to get the hell out of Dodge.

    The dwarf gets all the best sex.  That’s awesome.  But for some reason I can’t get the image of Willow banging Sorsha out of my head.

    I think I know who Arstan Whitebeard is….I think.  But I don’t want to say yet in case it’s BS (see what I did there?)  I love a good double entendre.

    WHY ARE YOU KILLING OFF ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, GEORGE?????

    A Storm of Swords

    1000 pages of awesomesauce.

    Hell yeah!  I was right about Selmy! Self sci-five!

    Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks that Gendry has a fat crush on Arya.

    Geez George, is there anyone you won’t kill??  Is nothing and no one sacred???

    Huh.  Well Catelyn, I honestly didn’t see that coming.  I’d hang all the Frey’s too.

    Still not sure what to think of Jojen but Meera is awesome.  I’d have a crush on her too, Bran.  Why are psychic kids always so creepy?

    Valar Dohaeris. Unless you fancy yourself royal.

    Always listen to your direwolf.

    So are all of the Stark children wargs?

    I wonder if House Tyrell is a GRRM nod to the Tyrell Corporation? Either way, the Tyrell women are fantastic.  I love the Queen of Thorns.  She reminds me of my grandma.  Except for the scheming and murdering.

    Wow Sansa, you get a lot done in this book.  I’m impressed.

    Jaime – loses a hand and becomes a man.

    Ygritte – I’m glad that Jon won’t die a virgin.

    Sam – you fucktard.  Making Jon Lord Commander was the worst thing you could have done for him.  Although I think you’re right that he was the best man for the job out of the people who were available.  Thank God Janos Slynt is dead.  I hated that asshole.

    Tywin Lannister = biggest hypocrite ever.  That kind of surprised me actually. Tyrion wins the “best way to commit patricide” award.

    Holy shit Littlefinger.  So you’re the puppet master.  I knew I needed to keep a close eye on you.  I kind of love to hate you.  You need to lay off Sansa though, it’s creeping me out.

    I’m pretty much convinced that Coldhands is Benjen Stark.

    A Feast for Crows

    George, I wish that you had stuck with using chronological order.  Just sayin’.

    So who’s the new Pate?  Jaqen H’ghar is my guess.  I can’t wait to find out what he’s up to now.

    Brienne is my hero.

    Oh Cersei.  Cersei, Cersei, Cersei.  You can talk the talk but you can’t walk the walk.  It’s about time karma bit you in the butt.

    Damn, Zombie Catelyn, you’re kinda batshit.

    Ok, so Littlefinger is a bit of an enigma to me.  I’m thinking that he transferred his Catelyn obsession over to Sansa and some warped part of him feels like he can screw over every other person in Westeros so long as he takes care of her.  He obviously wants to be king and he’s obviously the master puppeteer in the game of thrones. …. Right?

    I don’t have anything nice to say about the Greyjoy’s.  Even Asha has lost her appeal.

    I do; however, like Dornish women.

    I hope this whole Arya storyline goes somewhere super cool because I’m ready for her to move on.  Which is weird because I actually really look forward to these chapters.  It’s like a different book within the book.  I need the kindly man to teach me some patience.  And I love how Sam keeps running into all the “dead” Stark kids.

    A Dance with Dragons

    Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, George, stop killing everyone I love GDit!!!

    Ok Asha, I kind of like you again.

    And the recipient of the “character who went through the most crap” award goes to….Tyrion Lannister!  Holy shit dude.  You had, like, 9 lives in this book.

    It’s a relief to finally know where Varys stands in this whole thing.

    Poor, poor Quentyn.  Yeesh, I feel bad for that kid.  All he wanted was to make his daddy proud and instead he ended up a crispy critter.

    It’s about damn time Dany rode Drogon!  That was epic!  What followed was not so epic…

    NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  Not my Jon!!  And how many times do I have to tell you Stark kids not to leave your direwolves behind?  Ugh.  Littlefinger was right about you lot in that regard.

    Season 1 of HBO’s A Game of Thrones

    God bless HBO and their penchant for gratuitous nudity.

    Director Tim Van Patten’s brother makes my cat’s food.

    Robb Stark.  I’d hit that.

    Renly’s gay???  That was made up for the show right? Cause I don’t remember getting that impression in the books.  But I guess I just missed it.

    From now on, whenever I hear the Johnny Cash song “Ring of Fire” I will have a very distinct picture of Dany in my head.

    I probably would have avoided this little experiment

    Theon, you don’t look like how I imagined you in the books but I didn’t want to punch your face in right away so you’re a good actor at least.

    Jon Snow.  I’d hit that.

    That’s a whole lotta penis and vajayjay.  Most were cool but I’m pretty sure I saw Pycelle’s and that was just totally unnecessary.

    When you play the game of thrones, either you win or you die. There is no middle ground.

    And that wraps up my Game of Thrones wrap up.  Sorry if this gives you an epileptic seizure but I thought it was really cool.

  • 7 Nerdy Things From Hot Nerd Girl’s Office

    A while back (maybe September?) I posted on the Hot Nerd Girl facebook page that I was having a hard time figuring out how to organize all of my Star Trek stuff in my office.  The fans

    a) thought it was a really great problem to have

    and

    b) demanded pictures. 

    I promised I would take some once it was all done.  I’m still searching for a few of my smaller posters but it’s done for the most part.  Just in time for Christmas and all of the relatives coming to town 🙂

    So here are the pictures I promised as well as some background on some of the items.  Sadly, about half of my collection is in storage in Idaho (had to put in somewhere when I went to college) so hopefully someday I can run up there and bring it all back down to SoCal.

    This is my whole office area aka my little slice of heaven aka where all the magic happens.  I infiltrated the area above the TV as well.  Because I could.

    Yes, I interrupted my game of God of War III for you.

    1. The Posters

    Regarding the posters: the one on the right you’ve probably seen me gushing about on the facebook page because my picture (and some of yours as well!) is part of the mosaic.  I finally got it framed and hung up which was no easy task since it had to hang over the giant monstrosity that is the entertainment center.  The Spock poster I’ve had since middle school and I literally took it with me everywhere I moved. That’s 13 moves and 13 walls it has hung on.  He’s been one of the few constant companions I’ve had and I find his presence very comforting. 

    No matter what I did I couldn't prevent the reflections on the glass. Sorry.

    2. The lifesize Worf

    I got my lifesize cardboard cut out of Worf from my step-uncle.  He used to keep it in the coat closet. When visitors would come over and hang up their coats they’d get startled by Worf and usually scream at which point my step-uncle would laugh and laugh and laugh.  It was my kind of prank.  When he retired and moved he passed Worf down to me.

    My own personal Chief of Security

    3. The Autographs

    I’ve got quite a few autographs, including several in a Star Trek: The Next Generation book.  Of these four I got three of them in person: Nichelle Nichols, Michael Dorn, and Marina Sirtis.  The Majel Barrett one I got while she was alive but was no longer appearing at conventions.  I heart her so much that I bought it anyways.  I wish I had met her.  I did meet her son, Eugene “Rod” Rodenberry Jr. at a convention in 2002.  He was a nice guy. 

    Super awesomesauce

    I came upon my World Premier of Voyager cast autographs via my cousins best friend.  She worked on the series and knew I was a big fan so she gave me her Voyager cast photo some years back (did I mention that she’s now one of my fave peeps on the planet?)  It’s kind of hidden behind my Tribbles because I have so many damn stuffed animals. 

    If you don’t know their name, just call them “Robert” and chances are you’ll be right

    4. Data and the Holograms

    My Data bust was a High School graduation present.  In the past he sat on my bookshelf with all of my Star Trek books…of which there are way more than I care to admit….but he now has a place of honor on top of the entertainment center.  I have an insane love for this bust and I’m not really sure why.  I guess I was seduced by how ridiculously awesome it is.  The picture on the left is a hologram (see below) and the picture on the right is of me, my brother and my nephew at the Star Trek Exhibition in Riverside (California, not Iowa).

     
    Spinerfems ftw!

    For my birthday a few years ago my friend Hayden took me to Star Trek: The Tour down in Long Beach and bought me a hologram picture of us being “beamed.”  I wish I had access to this technology because I would take SO MANY holographic pictures.

    Hey Scotty? How about throwing in a couple of Romulan Ales when we reach the surface? Cool?

    5. The Mousepad

    This may seem like just a mousepad BUT it actually holds a lot of significance for me.  I got it when I went away to college.  Why is that important?  Well, because I went to school in San Francisco because it’s the future location of Starfleet Academy and I wanted to be as close to Starfleet Academy as possible. And yes, I am completely serious. In addition to my university diploma, I also have a Starfleet Academy diploma and a Kobayashi Maru certificate (signed by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy no less).  This is a prime example of why I consider myself a Nerd/Geek/Dork combo.

    Yes, I'm THAT big of a nerd.

    6. The Ships

    My Dad is a total perfectionist and I adore him for it even though it meant I couldn’t leave my homework out as a kid.  When he does something, he does it perfectly.  When we were kids he bought 3 Star Trek models and painted them.  The two smaller ones have been lost for years but the largest one, the Enterprise NCC-1701-D is alive and kicking.

    Thank God for invisible thread

     I have another NCC-1701-D that is 2 feet long but it’s one of the items up in storage.

    My Dad also gave me my Star Trek mobile.  It’s a little faded after all these years but it glows in the dark and I love it.

    If I ever have kids this is what they have to look forward to

    7. The Scripts

    I am very lucky in that I’ve been surrounded by amazing people my whole life. I also refuse to put up with a-holes so maybe that has something to do with it too.  One of the areas in which I’ve been very blessed is my parental units.  Through divorce and random circumstances I’ve ended up with six parents.  One of them is Dean Minnerly aka “Popi.” (Literally) one of the most kick ass dudes I’ve ever known.  He works in the technical side of the entertainment industry and, as a side job, was a contributing writer on The Next Generation for the first two seasons.  One of his biggest contributions?  Helping to kill off Tasha Yar.

    What’s that?  You want proof?  Ok.  Go to Netflix and turn on “Skin of Evil” (you know, the episode with the giant tar monster that kills her).  At the very beginning of the episode Tasha and Worf are talking about Yar’s upcoming martial arts competion.  Worf asks who she is competing against.  He dismisses her first competitor, saying that she will defeat him easily.  Then she mentions that she’ll be fighting Lt. Minnerly next and Worf gets worried.  That’s right folks, Dean (who is a martial artist in real life) wrote himself into the episode.

    Epic win.

    Sadly, he did all of this just before he came into my life so I never got to participate in the TNG awesomeness, but he did give me an extremely rare cast jacket, several scripts, and some HI-larious stories.

    Ok, time to go back in the safe.

    Aaaaaaand on that note, I think I’ll stop there.  There’s more I could show you but that would make for a VERY long post.  Don’t worry all you non-Trekkies, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Thor, Transformers, etc. etc. are also represented here albeit in a much smaller capacity. 

    What can I say?  I’m a good little Trekkie 🙂

  • Dear Walking Dead (again)

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/grWV8WZtAQc]

    –

    Dear AMC’s The Walking Dead (again),

    I’ve had nightmares about you for the last four nights in a row.

    Not cool.

    It’s all your fault, you know.  You draw me in with your compelling story telling, make me fall in love with you all over again, and then scare the living daylights out of me.  What the hell is your problem anyways?

    Lately you’ve been teasing me.  You haven’t been rearing your ugly head very much so I think I’m safe.  Then all of the sudden you show up at the pharmacy, or in the barn, or at the bottom of the well.  Seriously, you had the worst prune fingers I’ve ever seen.  It was disgusting.  You should really take better care of your personal hygiene.

    But I digress.

    I’m starting to get worried here.  You scare the crap out of me, I leave, and then I come back for more.  What in the sam hill is wrong with me?  You even tried to help me out.  I couldn’t find you at first but eventually I hunted you down.  Now I’m convinced that I need therapy.

    And yet, here I am, huddled on the couch, covering my eyes half the time while you bitch and moan but don’t really say anything meaningful.  Your communication skills are seriously lacking, did you know that?  Sometimes I can differentiate between a moan and a groan, but most of the time its like you expect me to read your mind.  Well guess what?  I can’t. Learn to deal with it you stupid walker.  And the way you deal with children is seriously fucked up.  Poor Sophia.

    I don’t know what to do.  I should probably never speak to you again but I know that’s not going to happen.  I just really want to know where this relationship is going to end up and I hate having friends tell me what you’ve been up to.  I want to find out for myself.

    God I hate you so much sometimes!

    But I also love you.

    *sigh*

    You suck.

    Sincerely,
    Hot Nerd Girl

    Photo by Meghan Roth; Zombification by Brett DeWall www.dementeddreams.com

     

  • The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

    Ugh.  I’m home sick today.  No bueno.

    I took the day off from work and was going to take the day off from blogging (especially since no nerdy movies came out this past weekend) but after catching up on Falling Skies and being asked my thoughts about it…well…it seems I just can’t quit you.  Not even for a day.

    So I’m not promising genius (I am pretty doped up on DayQuil, after all) but here are my thoughts after watching the first two episodes of Falling Skies.

    SPOILERS AHEAD!

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjroVVhe8G0]

    I’ll always think of Noah Wyle as Dr. Carter.  I’m sure he’d be THRILLED to hear that for the 100,000th time but, oh well, type casting’s a bitch.  That said, he’s surprisingly believable as Tom Mason, a history professor / Second in Command of the 2nd Massachusetts resistance fighters.  Especially once you get past the fact that the kid on the operating table is being poked and prodded by the womanizing pilot from Wings instead of him.

    I was totally convinced that Anne Glass aka the hot chick from Terminator: Salvation, was Native American.  Hell, her name is Moon Bloodgood after all.  Turns out she’s Korean, Irish and Dutch.  Oops, my bad.  She’s perty and she likes to use her hands a lot in a strange, overly graceful way.   Like she’s in a soap commercial or something.  It’s her way of showing tenderness and sexual tension during the scenes between her and Tom.  They totally want to bang, they just have to hold out until Tom rescues his middle child (why is it always the middle child that gets screwed??) and they’re on the offensive against the skitters.

    Tom’s oldest son, Hal Mason (Drew Roy) is fond of over-acting.  He REALLY wants you to know what emotion he’s playing at any given time.  It’s a little distracting.  He’s best when he’s pretending to be cocky, which he does even though he’s really a big ‘ol mushy teddy bear of an older brother.  Hal’s dating fellow scout Karen but some medic girl named Lourdes (Seychelle Gabriel) has a real hard on for him.  But, you know, an innocent hard on cause she’s Catholic and she wants to make sure you know that she prays.  A lot.

    Through my DayQuil haze I was having the hardest time figuring out where I’d seen Karen (Jessy Schram) before.  Then it hit me that I remember her playing the wife in Unstoppable.  It’s very probable that I remember this only because her husband was played by Chris Pine aka the new Captain Kirk.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  She sure is a cutie though.  Good choice for a “girl next door” turned “post apocalyptic freedom fighter chick.”  Her fate is unclear and considering the huge crush Lourdes has on Karen’s man, Hal Mason, I’m guessing that Lourdes is going to be mending Hal’s broken heart with her sweet lady kisses in an upcoming episode.

    Lourdes, Anne, Karen, Hal and Tom

    My favorite characters thus far are Captain Weaver, John Pope, and Margaret.  It’s probably because they are the hardest characters to like.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  Captain Weaver (Will Patton) is gruff and unrelenting.  Until he relents.  Which he does when someone is being unrelenting with him.  But I like him.  He’s doing the best he can with what he’s got.  And I like his ponytail.  John Pope (Colin Cunningham) is the closest thing to a human bad guy that we’ve got at this point. He’s a bad ass ex-con motorcycle gang leader until we find out that what he really likes to do is…..cook.  I don’t eat meat (ok, cue the jokes now) but I’m now aware that you must, MUST poach a chicken before you cook it.  Once you poach it you can cook it however you want.  Salmonella, I’m on to you, you little shit.  I like Margaret (Sarah Carter) cause she’s all mysterious and stuff.  I think I remember them calling her Maggie at some point.  I like the name Maggie better so I’m sticking with it.  Don’t try to have sex with her; she’ll pop a cap in your ass for it eventually.  And bringing her chocolate won’t help.  You have been warned.

    And lastly, the alien critters.  They call them Skitters…I guess because they are kind of lizard-like and lizards skitter around and can climb up walls and stuff.  These guys do that and are really hard to kill unless you shoot off two of their six legs.  Then they magically become weak and you can defeat them.  They also have robots called Mechs which are pretty much a rip-off of the toasters from BSG.  Everyone wants to know why the aliens invented robots that look vaguely humanoid instead of robots with six legs in their own image.  Apparently we humans are so self-involved that we only build robots that look like us and since the skitters did too, they must be trying to fuck with our minds.  We’re so self-involved that it’s always about us, all the time.

    Spitting image of my Uncle Lester

    Oh, and they slap alien harnesses onto our children and turn them all into slaves.

    Yaaaay!!!

    I’m into it.  I’ll keep letting my DVR record it for a while longer, see where it goes.  Now excuse me while I unfold my stiff legs from my desk chair, gag down some more DayQuil and watch The Last Starfighter.

    I don’t care what you say, Larry Santy, it’s one of the greatest movies EVER.

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: it just gets stranger and stranger

    Big wall o' pirates

    I know a lot of people who don’t really care for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise as a whole. They thought the first one was fun and the 2nd and 3rd ones were convoluted pieces of crap. Therefore, I had a hard time finding someone who would see #4 with me. Luckily I have an awesome Mom who just happened to be visiting this weekend. We both like the films for the most part (although I take issue with parts of At Worlds End). I guess I’m just a sucker for action adventure.

    On Stranger Tides is based on a novel of the same name by Tim Powers. It’s appropriately named since it is, well, a bit strange. Power’s novel prominently features voodoo, something that Disney opted to keep and force (not always successfully) into the world of Pirates of the Caribbean.

    Barbossa's spiffy new duds!

    I’m sure you know the basic plot, that everyone is searching for the legendary fountain of youth. It’s not really clear why everyone (especially Captain Jack Sparrow) is trying to find it. For Blackbeard (Ian McShane), it’s because he’s heard a prophecy about his death and he’s trying to escape his fate. Everyone else wants to find it for no apparent reason. We find out later why Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the Spanish are looking for it but for Jack, it seems to just be something to do.

    As for the fountain, for a secret supposedly taken to the grave by Ponce de Leon, a whole lot of people seem to know all about it. Not just it, but the rather complicated ritual you need to go through to drink from it. By the by, I’ve been to St. Augustine, Florida (PdL was supposedly the first European to set foot in Florida) so I know for a fact that Ponce died and is buried in Cuba and was not left to mummify in a ship perched up on a rock. But whatever, I’m willing to suspend belief a little.

    Fun fact: Ponce de Leon wasn’t looking for the fountain of youth to give him long life…nope, he was more concerned about it curing his impotence (how is one supposed to rape and brutalize the natives if he can’t get it up, right?)

    [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5AqJww06bw]

    The ritual requires a mermaid’s tear which requires capturing a mermaid which requires sacrificing a whole lot of minions since mermaids apparently cross-bred with vampires somewhere along the line. They’re hot and they sing but Ariel they most certainly are not. My mom was a little disappointed by the viciousness of the mermaids and I can see why. As the daughter of a sailor, I learned that mermaids are not unlike the sirens of Greek mythology. They hypnotize sailors with their beautiful singing and the entranced sailors would walk or dive off of the ship in order to get to them, unfortunately drowning in the process. Or the sailors are nabbed by mermaids who forget that humans can’t breathe underwater and accidentally drown them while trying to show them their sweet underwater digs. Personally, if the mermaids of my youth had been more like these gals, I would have pretended to be one more often. There was a certain degree of “girl power” to these half mermaid-half vampire ladies…at least until one actually got captured and needed to be rescued by a big strong man. Then the whole “girl power” message kind of went right out the window.

    How would you like it if your date went from this…
    …to this! yeesh…

    Ah well…at least I still had a strong woman in Penelope Cruz. She can fight! She can seduce! She can command a ship! The only thing I didn’t really care for was her borderline creepy obsession with her Dad. Speaking of which…Ian McShane was solid as Blackbeard thanks to his icy eyes. I couldn’t buy into him being a master of black magic but I got a kick out of seeing him in a non-western setting. Geoffrey Rush could read the phone book and make it interesting. His frenemy relationship with Jack was in full swing. Sadly, the person who felt most out of place was Jack and I think it’s because they tried to force the character into Jack Shandy’s role in the book. Despite Johnny Depp’s best efforts, the two characters just don’t really mesh. I missed most of the crew members from the Black Pearl, although my favorite of them, Gibbs (Kevin McNally) was there. I was uber excited to see Keith Richards again as Jack’s Daddy but was sorely disappointed by his wooden performance. This is the guy that Depp based Jack’s zaniness on after all.

    In the end, it was a fun and entertaining movie but not one that I necessarily need to see again.

    2.5 out of 5 sci-fives

  • 25 Take Aways: A Battlestar Galactica Wrap Up

    A while back I admitted to being a late bloomer to the greatness that is Battlestar Galactica…cause seriously, I’m waaaaaay too busy to watch every single TV show that comes out, nerdy or not.  Aside from developing an unhealthy addiction to speed in order to eek a few more hours out of my day, my solution was to wait until the entire series came out on DVD and then watch it all in an epic month long marathon.

    Personally, I think I made the right decision on this one.  I don’t know how people waited from week to week to find out what happened next.  Sounds like torture to me.

    I finished my marathon a few weeks ago so I thought it might be fun to do a little wrap up of all things BSG.  Some totally random parting thoughts…

    1. Anyone else think it’s funny that when Lee and Dee got married, their names rhymed?  Even funnier for me was the fact that her name became Dualla Adama.  I don’t know why, but that cracks me up.  Oh wait, Dualla is her last name?  What’s her first name?  Anastasia?  Where the frak did that come from?

    2. Oh Boomer.  Boomer, Boomer, Boomer.  There were times when I really had hope for you and then you would go and frak it all up.  I mean, really, you HAD to beat the shit out of Athena, then bang her husband right in front of her?  Beee-yatch!  I guess you sort of redeemed yourself at the end but I would have shot you in the face too.

    3. Why was Six the only Cylon who got to try out different hair do’s?  I’m sure Eight would have liked to have rocked something other than stringy bangs for once.

    4. I love how Kat went from flashing her naughty bits in D’Anna’s documentary to suddenly having to hide her past from everyone.  Damn girl, you need to get your shit straight.

    5. I’m not sure what this says about me, but I liked Saul way more AFTER he found out he was a Cylon.  Tory?  Never really liked her.

    6. Helo, you went from being a throwaway character to being one of the most important characters on the whole show.  Not really sure how you did that, but I’m very glad you did.  And dude, you’re huge.  What are you, like half giant or something?

    7. I miss Billy, he was such a sweet kid.

    8. So what the frak was Starbuck anyways?  An Angel?  I was obsessed with suns, moons and stars as a kid and used to paint them on EVERYTHING…does that mean I’ll end up like her?

    9. Dude, I don’t care if he’s a Cylon, a vegetable, a hybrid, whatever, when it comes to Anders I would totally hit that.  He was one sexy bitch.  And he waits for you on the other side, isn’t that adorable?

    10. Laura Roslin is my kinda woman, it’s too bad she spent so much time being cancer girl.  I watched someone near and dear to me waste away from that last year, it was hard to watch that again.

    11. The look Tyrol gave Tory when he saw that she had killed Cally was crazy.  When he snapped his head around like that, it was like watching a Borg or a Terminator.  It really brought home the fact that he was a machine.

    12. I love that Badger ends up being the President of the Colonies.

    13. Cally smelled like cabbage?  WTF is in that algae shit anyways?

    14. Hot Dog, I know you’re EJO’s kid and all, but this video is probably the best thing I could find of you from BSG.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/u2RuHAqvp6s]

    Oh, and you got knocked out by a girl.  An awesome girl.  But a girl nonetheless.

    15. Soooooo….are we all Human-Cylon hybrids descended from Hera?  Cause that was the past right?  Or is it the future?  Does this mean that we can blame the Japanese and their creepy humanoid robots for the near destruction of humanity?

    16. I, too, would like some resurrection technology.  Thanks Helen….uhhh…Mom.

    17. Holy frakking shit Dee.  I never saw that one coming.

    18. Really Helen, you modeled One after your dad and then you did the “swirl” with him?  That is disturbing on so many levels.

    19. TNG Number One = hot.  BSG Number One = not.

    20. Gaeta, you went from being one of my very favorite characters to my least favorite.  The way your storyline ended made me sad.  See? –> 🙁

    21. Tahmoh Penikett – what the hell kind of name is that?  You’re Canadian and your sisters are named Sarah and Stephanie.  I don’t get it.

    22. Baltar – you crazy.

    23. I kind of had a thing for you Lee Adama.  Then Anders came along and you were sort of old news.  Then you ditched the uniform, and while I’ll admit you look pretty spiffy in a suit, it doesn’t compare to the uniform.  Then I found out you tried to have sex with Starbuck while she was engaged to your brother.  Now I kind of think you’re a douche.  A cute douche.

    24. Admiral Adama, I would follow you to the end of the galaxy too.  I’ve learned this about myself.  But you kind of spit when you’re mad.  Or sad.  Or drunk.  It’s a little gross.  But I still heart you.

    25. Humans will never, ever change.  We see native peoples and just assume that they’ll want to procreate with us. Excuse me, Mr. Tribesman? Would you mind whipping it out for us?  We really need to breed.  kthx.

    Looking forward to 17th Precinct!!!

  • Battlestar Galacticawesome

    I’ll admit it.  I was a late bloomer to the Battlestar Galactica universe.  When it came out my time was otherwise occupied and by the time I had time it was so far in that I thought I would get lost if I started in the middle.

    Then I was given Season 1 on DVD by a friend a couple of years ago (shout out to Vetty Spaghetti) who thwacked me on the head, called me an idiot and practically threw the DVD set at me.

    She is a very wise woman.

    After getting scoffed at by a few more friends, some *gasp* not even nerds, I knew I was in trouble and rapidly losing my nerd cred.

    So I embarked on a mission to watch and absorb all things BSG.

    **Disclaimer: I wasn’t a total BSG virgin, I did see the introductory miniseries when it first came out in 2004.

    I watched 5 hours the first day and was addicted.  I watched 3 more hours the day after that.  And so on and so forth.  I threw money at Amazon.com in an attempt to get seasons 2-4 as fast as shippingly possible.

    I’m pretty sure that the moment I got hooked was when Starbuck shoved a slimy, half-biological, half-technological Cylon oxygen tube in her mouth without even flinching.  I thought, hot damn, now THAT’S a woman.  I’d like to think that I would do the same if I were stranded on a lifeless, alien moon.  I’m pretty bad ass.  I’m not sure I’m that bad ass but one never knows until they’re in that type of situation.

    Yes? No?

    And is it just me or does everyone think of Dr. Julian Bashir whenever Dr. Gaius Baltar walks onscreen??  They look like they were separated at birth.  Of course, as soon as Gaius opens his mouth (or looks over at the imaginary Cylon dry humping him) all similarities end abruptly.

    "My monogram is better than your monogram."

    As far as Dear Leaders go, ya’ll know I’m about as big a Trekkie as they come so I’m still partial to my Kirk’s, Picard’s and Sisko’s but EJO holds his own as Adama.  I could have done without the 80’s porn ‘stache he sported but other than that I have few complaints.  I do like that both he and his XO have some serious flaws.  I can hold my own in a drinking contest but drinking before work everyday?  It takes a man like Saul Tigh to pull that off.  My hat is off to you Sir!

    Back to the ladies, I may or may not have a slight girl crush on Cally.  Any girl who bites off a guy’s ear even though it means taking a bullet to the gut is a-ok in my book. Plus, she fixes things.  We have much in common.  Throw in some Dee and I might just change teams.

    I started out thinking that Lee was kind of a whiny little bitch BUUUT, he grew on me.  I definitely have no problem with him taking his shirt off.  No problem at all.  Ever.  Speaking of da boys, I have a soft spot for Chief Tyrol, having been raised by a Chief myself.  Plus, how funny and awesome is it that he got to boom boom with Boomer??

    I’m a big Mary McDonnell fan; she had alien attack cred already with Independence Day, a movie I love to this day (mock me if you must).  Her quiet strength while looking blitzed out of her mind both inspire me and crack me up.  She can pull off the bald look too.  That’s no easy feat for a chick my friends.

    And the Cylons…oh, the Cylons…I’m not going to address the end in case there are readers who haven’t seen it, but, in short, I can do without the guys but Tricia Helfer and Grace Park can feel free to stick around for as long as their little pseudo-Terminator hearts desire.  I’m pretty sure C6 is about as perfect a woman as God (or the gods) can create and if I was Dr. Baltar, I’d have constant fantasies about her too, day-glo spine and all.

    "Don't ask me where I found this, but be glad that I did."

    In short, yes, I was a dumbass for not watching the series while it was on TV but I don’t really regret it.  I got to sit back and watch them all without having to wait in anticipation for the next episode week after week.

    Winning!

  • Dear Walking Dead

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1v0uFms68U&fs=1&hl=en_US]

    Dear AMC’s “The Walking Dead”,

    We’ve been on a couple of dates now and, frankly, I’m a little concerned about the direction our relationship is heading in.  I knew going in that you weren’t my type but everyone said you were great so I figured I would give you a chance.  I’m just not convinced that we’re right for each other.  I was anxious during both dates and had nightmares about future dates.  Ten minutes after our last date my hands were still shaking, I just don’t think that’s a good sign of what is to come.

    I have to admit that your appearance is a big part of what bothers me.  I’m all for focusing on what’s inside, but your personal hygiene is a real turn off.  It doesn’t look like you’ve brushed your teeth or bathed for weeks.  You’re really starting to smell.  Ironically, you seem to be really attracted to the way I smell and when you start to stumble towards me like a drunken idiot, it makes me really uncomfortable.  It’s like you’re constantly trying to invade my personal bubble.  You also get this look like you want to eat me and there are certain things that even I won’t do in the bedroom.  Not that I would invite you into my bedroom anyway, so don’t get any ideas.

    I mean, you look like you USED to be hot….

    I also didn’t appreciate the way you treated that Sheriff on our last date. (spoiler alert, if you haven’t seen it) He seemed like a good guy even though he sounded kind of British a couple of times.  And trying to get into the house uninvited?  Really?  Who DOES that?  Ok, I’ll admit that the guy on the roof was really obnoxious.  Unlike you, I’m willing to compromise on some issues.

    All that being said, I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there who would love to be in a relationship with you.  Really, you’re a catch!  You’re smart and well-rounded.  I know it sounds cliche but, it’s not you, it’s me.  There, I said it.  I’m going to try not to let my friends pressure me into going out with you again, it’s not healthy for either of us in the long run.  And don’t you try to pressure me either with your talk of what’s to come, I don’t need any more surprises in my life, it’s complicated enough as it is. I wish you a long, happy life.

    Ok, maybe we can still be friends.  But no benefits!

    Sincerely,
    Hot Nerd Girl

    Still hot, right?

    P.S – credit for all zombified pictures of HNG goes to the amazingly talented Brett DeWall