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  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 – the End of an Era

    The other Incredible Trio – HNG, Hayden and Melanie

    Yes, I cried.

    Quite a bit at one point.

    And while the scenes were touching and poignant and emotional and all that good stuff, a large part of it was a sense of mourning that this was it.  No more books and now, no more movies either.  The posters and billboards plastered everywhere are clear: “It All Ends.”  Truth in advertising for once.  And for once, I’m devastated that it’s actually true.  I went through this emotional rollercoaster after reading the final book as well and it’s certainly not a new thing for me.  When I truly commit myself to a franchise (especially books) I go through major withdrawals when it is finished.

    Here’s the thing about Harry Potter and the genius of JK Rowling…yes, you know that it is a global phenomenon and that you are far from unique in your passion for Harry and Hogwarts, but it feels as though it has been written just for you and you alone.  I can think of no greater praise for an author.

    Below are some thoughts that I’ve jotted down after seeing the final film.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mObK5XD8udk&feature=related]

    If you haven’t read the books or seen the last movie and plan to, you know what I’m about to say: spoilers, spoilers, spoilers!!

    1. Certain characters have really gotten ignored in the movies.  I’ve already lamented the underuse of Fleur and Bill in my review of Part 1 but this movie really brought home how little we’ve seen of Lupin and Tonks in the two-part finale.  In Part 1 they tried to tell Harry that they had gotten married but before Tonks could get a word out they were brushed aside for the “Seven Harry’s” scene.  A funny and awesome scene but those who haven’t read the books had no idea that they had made a huge commitment despite enormous adversity.  In Part 2 they cut out all of Lupin’s visits to Harry.  Both the one at Grimmauld Place where Lupin tells Harry they are expecting a baby and has his freak out AND the one at Shell Cottage when Lupin happily announces that they have a son and asks Harry to be the Godfather.  Without these scenes their deaths during the first battle of Hogwarts is lessened emotionally.  Not the end of the world but sad nonetheless.
    2. In that same vein…I’m not sure why they felt the need to replace the Creevey brothers with a new character named Nigel.  Nigel’s death took the place of Colin’s but it wasn’t nearly as gut-wrenching as in the book.
    3. I also would have liked to have seen Fred’s death as he fought alongside Percy, the brother who had turned his back on them for years.  A little bit of slow-motion and some sad music as the wall explodes and Fred collapses while Harry looks at the people dying all around him would have reduced me to sobbing mess.  It probably would have been a little cliché as well but I don’t care.
    4. It was an interesting choice to have the younger students running around during the battle instead of being escorted out before the fighting began.  I actually didn’t mind this choice.  I thought it added to the chaos and horror of the battle.
    5. Ciaran Hinds was a wonderful addition as Aberforth Dumbledore.  I especially loved when they showed him leading a charge in the fight.
    6. Certain locations become as beloved as characters – Hogsmead, the Burrow, Grimmauld Place.  So I was a little disappointed that Snape’s big moment took place at a boat dock instead of at the Shrieking Shack.
    7. Speaking of Snape.  He is so central to the story and yet we see so little of him.  Alan Rickman takes full advantage of every moment he is given which makes it all the more tragic that we don’t see more of the story from his perspective.  The same goes for Neville in many ways.  I would have liked for them to go in to how it could have just as easily been Neville who became The Chose One and how, ultimately, it was Voldemort who chose Harry over Neville.
    8. The Gringott’s dragon was brilliant!  Half blind and practically albino from decades upon decades of being trapped underground.  It was a heart wrenching to see the scars and open wounds from the chains and to see it cower at the threat of being punished.  I practically cheered out loud when the dragon was freed as part of the Big Three’s escape plan.  Maybe I’ve been desensitized by violence in the movies, but I find it more difficult to watch animals (even CGI ones) being hurt than people.  There’s probably something profoundly wrong with me for feeling that way, but meh.
    9. There was a ton of battling going on in this movie but I kind of wanted more.  I missed the part when Harry runs into Hagrid inside the castle and it leads him to figure out where the Diadem is.  The more Hagrid the merrier and it was a bummer to have to wait until Harry’s “death” to see some Robbie Coltrane.  I was also disappointed that they left out the centaurs and Grawp joining in on the battle.  Especially Grawp.  We barely saw poor Professor’s Sprout and Trelawny.  Thank GOD they left in Mrs. Weasley’s battle with Bellatrix and the “bitch” line!  I don’t know why but of everything else I was sooo worried they would take that out!  Thank you Mr. Yates for not letting me down!
    10. In the book, the moment when Mrs. Weasley kills Bellatrix leads us to the final duel between Harry and Voldemort…in the middle of the school surrounded by fellow wizard warriors NOT by themselves in an abandoned courtyard.  I did like the part where they flew around together and sort of apparated into one.  That was pretty cool.
    11. Call me sentimental but I love the part when Harry uses the Resurrection Stone to surround himself with loved ones as he’s about to die.
    12. I don’t think we could have asked for a better actor to play Voldemort than Ralph Fiennes.  Like Rickman, he doesn’t waste a single syllable when he speaks.  Every second is a bit of evil to be savored.  I’ve gotten a real kick out of watching him slither these past 6 years.
    13. In the book Dumbledore spends a good chunk of his time in King’s Cross with Harry explaining his past actions and what led him to change his ways, abandoning and eventually defeating his former BFF Grindelwald.  It humanizes Dumbledore and gives him a chance to defend himself against all of the horrible things that were said about him after his death.  I honestly don’t think that Dumbledore cares about what anyone thinks about him, with the exception of Harry.  He also clarifies what we’ve suspected since Hermione told us the story of the Deathly Hallows – that Harry’s invisibility cloak is THE cloak.  Readers of the book know all of this but non-readers have been left in the dark.  I could tell exactly who the non-readers were in our theatre by their reaction to the baby Voldemort under the King’s Cross bench.  I missed at least 3 lines of dialogue while they acted grossed out by it.
    14. I don’t remember Harry snapping the Elder Wand in two.  If I remember correctly, he puts it back in Dumbledore’s tomb.  That was a little weird and caused several members of our theatre audience to yell at the screen.
    15. The epilogue was done beautifully.  My only complaint here is the absence of Teddy and Victoire.

    As I mentioned on facebook, I saw this movie simultaneously in D-Box and 3D.  The 3D was a complete waste.  I dislike post-production 3D to begin with and this just goes to show you that, even when they take a long time to “do it right” it isn’t worth it.  The darkness of the movie only further hinders the 3D conversion and anytime there was white on the screen there was an obvious “screen door” effect where I could see the texture of the movie screen material.  Very distracting.  I’m looking forward to seeing the movie again without the 3D.  That, and our theatre was too cheap to get the awesome Harry Potter-shaped 3D glasses.  Lame.

    The D-Box is awesome.  I didn’t find it as effective as I did during Super 8 but I chalk that up to them vibrating our seats every time a wand was flicked.  Sometimes right before or after the wand action so it didn’t synch up quite right.  It was the most fun during the cart ride under Gringott’s and the part where Harry and Voldemort are flying around together.

    Again, I feel like I’m speaking more critically of it then I really mean to.  The truth is that I’m ecstatic that they ended the franchise with the best film yet.  The movies can’t have everything the books do and I know and accept this.  The fact that they’ve made a brilliant movie that lives up to the hype is a major accomplishment.  I’ve seen most of the films on opening night with Hayden and we both agreed that this was a seriously grand finale (although I think Hayden and Melanie would have liked to use the Resurrection Stone to bring back Richard Harris for all of the films).

    Bravo Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson for doing good by three beloved characters.  Bravo Alan Rickman and all of the veteran actors who have contributed the genius of their craft over the past decade.  Bravo Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuaron, Mike Newell and David Yates for directing 8 wonderful films.  And BRAVO JK Rowling for creating a brilliant and fleshed out magical world and allowing us to visit it.

    Take THAT Voldemort! You're welcome Harry.

    Five out of Five Sci-Fives! Yeah!

  • Costume Contest Winner and Dr. Horrible Live!

    Costume Contest (FINALLY)

    About 2 months ago (holy crap time flies!) I decided it was high time for another HNG photo shoot.  As a bit of a change up I focused on fantasy-related costumes and threw out these options.  Since then I’ve been insanely busy but I finally got around to tallying the votes and Xena was the overwhelming winner.  Sooo, just like with the Slave Leia costume, I’ll wear it and be photographed in it provided that enough donations come in to buy the $50 costume.

    That said, a lot of you wanted Xena but didn’t like the costume I found.  So if you know of a better one, let me know.  I’m open to suggestions.  And sorry, but I don’t have the time or talent to make and sew a leather costume.  I am gifted in many areas, sewing together strips of leather is not one of them.

    So donate today! 😀

    Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – Live!

    Nathan Turner, Jane Lui and Michael Minto

    I’m still amazed that anyone gives a hoot about what I think so imagine my surprise when I was invited to attend the premier of Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – Live in San Diego this weekend.  It sounded like fun (and I’m a huge theatre nerd) so I’m heading down (and braving Carmaggedon I might add) to check it out.  You should too.  If you go on Sunday the 17th I will be there geeking out.  You can find more information about it here and here.

    HNG is relocating!

    Live Long and Prosper Los Angeles!

    Speaking of sunny San Diego…I’m moving there at the end of July. Los Angeles certainly has its perks but I’m over it so I’m leaving.  The good news is that a relatively quick drive up the freeway will take me right back to Hollyweird so I can still take advantage of those perks without having to inhale smog and deal with hellacious traffic all day every day.  It’s a good thing.  I mention this because I’ll be packing, moving and unpacking over the course of the next few weeks and my posts may be a bit sporadic and all over the place.  I apologize for this ahead of time.  I may even have a couple of guest bloggers come in to pick up the slack a bit.  We’ll see how it goes.

  • Autobots! Roll out bitches!

    Help me, Optimus Prime. You're my only hope!

    I saw Transformers: Dark of the Moon a week ago today.  Normally you would have seen a review of it the very next day but this was not a normal week.  Laryngitis decided to rear its ugly head and, literally, by the end of the movie I went from having that sexy Kate Mulgrew voice you get when you’re sick, to barely being able to squeak when I tried to speak.

    Brilliant.

    Needless to say, I went to the doctor and was promptly quarantined for a week.   My voice is slooooooowly coming back (instead of nothing coming out, I can sort of croak…like a frog…) and my mental capacities are returning (No, thank YOU antibiotics).

    Anyhooters, back to Transformers.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H8bnKdf654]

    Ok, I’ll admit it, I kind of dig Michael Bay.  I always know what I’m going to get and really, we need a person like Michael Bay to make movies full of explosions and boobies (not always in that order).  That’s not to say I like everything he’s ever directed.  FAAAAAR from it.  But I’ve gotten a kick out of the Transformers trilogy (that might be a slight exaggeration when it comes to Revenge of the Fallen, but whatever).

    Just sayin'

    I’ll admit something else.  I’m not a big fan of the animated movie (which is set in 2005 by the way).  Don’t hate me.  Sure, it had Orson Welles (Unicron is not to be confused with Unicorn) and Robert Stack in it, but it also killed off Optimus Prime in the first five minutes and forced us to follow some dumb kid (Daniel Witwicky instead of Sam) and a new Autobot named Hot Rod (voiced by Judd Nelson no less) that looked more like Barbie’s dream car than a bad ass Transformer.

    But I digress.

    This time around MB decided to throw every celebrity he could at us.  I won’t even try to list them all.  Seriously, it was ridiculous.  Awesomely ridiculous.  McDreamy as a villain?  Hellz yeah! Homoerotica with Mr. Chow?  Yes pleaze!  Taking orders from Marge Gunderson?  Oh, yoo betcha!  Every scene had another one.  My favorite has got to be John Malkovich.  He was pretty much continuing his Marvin Boggs character from RED but holy shit did he make me LOL.  As for the oldies but goodies, it was totally retarded how they brought Lennox, Simmons, Epps, etc, etc  all back together but whatever.  It IS Michael Bay we’re talking about.

    On to more important things.  Like Victoria’s Secret models.  Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (hereafter RHW because fuck no am I going to keep typing out that long ass name) is a tall skinny pile of walking sex.  I’m going to admit to yet another tidbit.  I’ll take RHW over Megan Fox any day of the week. Her function may be to stand there and look pretty but at least she does it with class.  I cracked up every time they referred to the crazy bitch that dumped Sam sometime between this movie and the last one.  If you ask me, Sam got the better end of this deal.  I mean, RHW is so hot she has superpowers.  Somehow, she’s magically able to survive a collapsing skyscraper with perfect hair and nary a smudge on her perfect face or her white skinny jeans.  She also convinced Megatron that he’d end up, and I quote, Sentinel’s “bitch” if he didn’t beat his ass right now. “Oh no he di-ent!” Superpowers I tell you!  My one beef with good ol’ MB and his hot little ladies?  The fact that they’re always running around in high heels.  I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that I speak for all my fellow females out there when I say: FUCK THAT.

    She likes bunny wabbits

    I’m just admitting all kinds of crap tonight, but here’s another one.  Shia LaBeouf cracks me up.  No really, he does.  I’m pretty sure that Sam Witwicky and I were separated at birth.  We’re both klutzy and sarcastic and dorky as all get out.  I wouldn’t want to date him but I’m pretty sure he’d be the most awesome gay best friend ever.  Ok, that’s all I have to say about Shia.

    Now to the most important part…the Transformers.  Sadly underused as usual.  One of these days MB is going to make a movie where they have more than 5 minutes worth of dialogue.  Don’t get me wrong, the fight scenes are EPIC and I could sit there and watch them all day (especially in IMAX 3D like I did last week) but he doesn’t give us any opportunity to really get to know them.  Not even Bumblebee.  I watched the cartoon growing up so I can fill in the blanks but how do the laymen even tell the difference between some of these robots from outer space?  All I’m saying is that when you have a voice on tap like Peter Cullen’s…use the heck out of it.

    Uhhhh…this is a Deceptibot…right…?

    Going back to the animated movie…the one thing it had going for it was Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron (aka all the Decepticons mushed together by Unicron).  MB decided that Lennie should be rebooted as Sentinel Prime and that Sentinel Prime should be rebooted as a fucking BAD GUY.  What. The. Fuck. 

    To top it all off, MB gave him a face that was some kind of eerie hybrid between Spock and Captain Jack Sparrow.

    Parlay?

    Seriously.

    Bizarre.

    But nothing can make me stop loving Leonard Nimoy.  Especially when he does stuff like this just for shits and giggles:

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dULOjT9GYdQ]

    At least he had Lennie say the seminal line from Star Trek II: “The good of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” And that was only one of MANY Star Trek references (God Bless you Michael Bay). 

    All in all I thought it was a fun ride.  Lots of explosions and boobies.

    Does anything else in life really matter?

    I think not.

    3.5 out of 5 sci-fives!

  • The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

    Ugh.  I’m home sick today.  No bueno.

    I took the day off from work and was going to take the day off from blogging (especially since no nerdy movies came out this past weekend) but after catching up on Falling Skies and being asked my thoughts about it…well…it seems I just can’t quit you.  Not even for a day.

    So I’m not promising genius (I am pretty doped up on DayQuil, after all) but here are my thoughts after watching the first two episodes of Falling Skies.

    SPOILERS AHEAD!

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjroVVhe8G0]

    I’ll always think of Noah Wyle as Dr. Carter.  I’m sure he’d be THRILLED to hear that for the 100,000th time but, oh well, type casting’s a bitch.  That said, he’s surprisingly believable as Tom Mason, a history professor / Second in Command of the 2nd Massachusetts resistance fighters.  Especially once you get past the fact that the kid on the operating table is being poked and prodded by the womanizing pilot from Wings instead of him.

    I was totally convinced that Anne Glass aka the hot chick from Terminator: Salvation, was Native American.  Hell, her name is Moon Bloodgood after all.  Turns out she’s Korean, Irish and Dutch.  Oops, my bad.  She’s perty and she likes to use her hands a lot in a strange, overly graceful way.   Like she’s in a soap commercial or something.  It’s her way of showing tenderness and sexual tension during the scenes between her and Tom.  They totally want to bang, they just have to hold out until Tom rescues his middle child (why is it always the middle child that gets screwed??) and they’re on the offensive against the skitters.

    Tom’s oldest son, Hal Mason (Drew Roy) is fond of over-acting.  He REALLY wants you to know what emotion he’s playing at any given time.  It’s a little distracting.  He’s best when he’s pretending to be cocky, which he does even though he’s really a big ‘ol mushy teddy bear of an older brother.  Hal’s dating fellow scout Karen but some medic girl named Lourdes (Seychelle Gabriel) has a real hard on for him.  But, you know, an innocent hard on cause she’s Catholic and she wants to make sure you know that she prays.  A lot.

    Through my DayQuil haze I was having the hardest time figuring out where I’d seen Karen (Jessy Schram) before.  Then it hit me that I remember her playing the wife in Unstoppable.  It’s very probable that I remember this only because her husband was played by Chris Pine aka the new Captain Kirk.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  She sure is a cutie though.  Good choice for a “girl next door” turned “post apocalyptic freedom fighter chick.”  Her fate is unclear and considering the huge crush Lourdes has on Karen’s man, Hal Mason, I’m guessing that Lourdes is going to be mending Hal’s broken heart with her sweet lady kisses in an upcoming episode.

    Lourdes, Anne, Karen, Hal and Tom

    My favorite characters thus far are Captain Weaver, John Pope, and Margaret.  It’s probably because they are the hardest characters to like.  Typical HNG brain, typical.  Captain Weaver (Will Patton) is gruff and unrelenting.  Until he relents.  Which he does when someone is being unrelenting with him.  But I like him.  He’s doing the best he can with what he’s got.  And I like his ponytail.  John Pope (Colin Cunningham) is the closest thing to a human bad guy that we’ve got at this point. He’s a bad ass ex-con motorcycle gang leader until we find out that what he really likes to do is…..cook.  I don’t eat meat (ok, cue the jokes now) but I’m now aware that you must, MUST poach a chicken before you cook it.  Once you poach it you can cook it however you want.  Salmonella, I’m on to you, you little shit.  I like Margaret (Sarah Carter) cause she’s all mysterious and stuff.  I think I remember them calling her Maggie at some point.  I like the name Maggie better so I’m sticking with it.  Don’t try to have sex with her; she’ll pop a cap in your ass for it eventually.  And bringing her chocolate won’t help.  You have been warned.

    And lastly, the alien critters.  They call them Skitters…I guess because they are kind of lizard-like and lizards skitter around and can climb up walls and stuff.  These guys do that and are really hard to kill unless you shoot off two of their six legs.  Then they magically become weak and you can defeat them.  They also have robots called Mechs which are pretty much a rip-off of the toasters from BSG.  Everyone wants to know why the aliens invented robots that look vaguely humanoid instead of robots with six legs in their own image.  Apparently we humans are so self-involved that we only build robots that look like us and since the skitters did too, they must be trying to fuck with our minds.  We’re so self-involved that it’s always about us, all the time.

    Spitting image of my Uncle Lester

    Oh, and they slap alien harnesses onto our children and turn them all into slaves.

    Yaaaay!!!

    I’m into it.  I’ll keep letting my DVR record it for a while longer, see where it goes.  Now excuse me while I unfold my stiff legs from my desk chair, gag down some more DayQuil and watch The Last Starfighter.

    I don’t care what you say, Larry Santy, it’s one of the greatest movies EVER.

  • Super 8 + DBox = DBest movie experience ever

    Alien movies are pretty much universally awesome.  Even the bad ones have something going for them in the form of a grotesque, salivating creature bent on devouring some random buxom blond.  Most of the time though, alien movies are just kick ass.  When making an alien movie, you have two choices.  Make the alien friendly or make them fearsome.  Most of the time they go with fearsome.  JJ Abrams decided he wanted all of the above.

    I would expect nothing less from you JJ.

    Since Super 8 has been out for a couple of weeks now (sorry, went to Iowa, remember?) and I just got around to seeing it last night, this review is less of a review of the movie itself and more about the experience as a whole.

    What made this movie such an experience?

    Well, my nerdy friends, I have four letters for you.  D-Box.  Learn them, remember them, go out and find them at a movie theatre near you. Only for a completely new theatrical experience (and to hang out with Hayden, my friend, and frequent companion in all things nerdy) would I drive for an hour and a half in Los Angeles rush hour traffic.  Let me tell you, it was worth it.  I’m not revealing a whole lot of SPOILERS, but in typical HNG fashion, I always reveal something, so beware.

    You even get cool head flaps like on an airplane

    When the seat rumbles to life it definitely catches you off guard.  The first time it happened I thought I was sitting on my cell phone before I remembered that I was sitting in a specially designed chair programmed to move along with the action in the movie.  If it had been a different movie I may have been turned on by it (haha, j/k…sort of) but luckily aliens with six appendages don’t really do it for me.  At first it only moved when a car would roll by so it would surprise me every time.  But once the real action started I quickly became adapted and decided that I never want to watch a movie while sitting still ever again.  The train crash scene in particular was SPECTACULAR and I sat there with the biggest, goofiest grin plastered on my face while I got jerked around from side-to-side and up-and-down.  Afterwards, I had goose bumps.  Hayden and I kept looking at each other with those “no fucking way!” expressions you get when experiencing something totally epic.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/iBbEaEUqtnY]

    Strangely, the theatre only had three rows of D-Box seats in it so I’m not sure how the people in the regular seats behind us managed to sit through the movie without being distracted by our rows moving around in front of them.  Maybe it’s less obvious if you’re not sitting in them?  All I know is that the seats are so huge that my feet didn’t touch the floor and you can’t turn and bury your head in your friends shoulder.  That’s right, I was on my own with only my sweater to cover my eyes when Elle Fanning did her super creepy zombie impression (GAH!!!)

    The tickets are more expensive, so heads up about that.  We may or may not have pretended to be Senior citizens when ordering them online…

    I guess I should stop talking about the vibrating chairs and discuss the movie already (even though I know a lot of you have already seen it and chided me for being late to the party 😉 ).  This is one of those movies that has it all.  Humor and horror are somehow woven seamlessly together in ways that don’t feel cheesy or forced in the slightest.  The kids are hysterical.  Charles and Cary in particular.  I’m not gonna lie, it was a little bizarre watching Nan Flanagan play a Susie Homemaker but that was the only time I was pulled out of the story.  Kyle Chandler had some nice moments when he got to play action hero but otherwise I didn’t take much notice of him.  My main focus was always on the kids.  Kids who showed off some extremely impressive acting skillz if I do say so myself.

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/tCRQQCKS7go]

    Is this the ET for the next generation?  No.  ET touched a collective, world-wide nerve that I don’t think can be replicated.  Super 8 has come closest though and really, it’s because of the kids.  The alien is large and scary but that doesn’t keep Joe from making a connection with him (I’m assuming it’s a him?) and helping him get home, sacrificing his most precious possession to do so.

    As Charles would say, “That was mint!”

    Hayden had a strangely alien-filled week and wanted to put in his 2 cents:

    “Due to my (hopefully) healthy obsession with anything extra-terrestrial or UFO related, I’m always up for a great alien invasion flick.  While I honestly didn’t plan on it, I ended up taking in Evolution, Skyline, Battle: Los Angeles, Falling Skies and Super 8 in such an abbreviated time period, it would have given Ellen Ripley nightmares.  Needless to say, after sitting through everything from an atrocity of a so-called movie called Skyline to the superb Super 8 in interactive motion D-Box seats, I feel like I’ve been personally probed in my hind quarters by a group of blind Predators.  While “Alien Week” was fun and educational, I’m ready to change course for awhile so please excuse me while I grab a hemorrhoid pillow and a bag of ice as I throw in a copy of Disney’s Tangled into my Blu-Ray player for the next 27 days.”

    I give the experience as a whole 4.5 out 5 sci-fives!

  • I saw The Green Lantern on the brightest screen, in the blackest theatre

    After a weekend hiatus from writing movie reviews to visit Kirk’s birthplace (oh and go to my cousins wedding), I’m back on the horse with one of the summers most anticipated comic book movies The Green Lantern.

    (Side note: if you were hoping I’d review Super 8 this past Monday, have no fear.  I’m planning to see it at some crazy new theatre with D-Box seats on Wednesday night so, if I do, I’ll put something together for Thursday or Friday.)

    I was stoked to see DC bring Ryan Reynolds’ abs to their comic universe. Wait….. no, I’ll stick with abs 🙂

    Wrong movie, you say? Ask me how much I care.

    As you know, I spend a good amount of my time grading comic book movies on how successful they are with staying true to the content of their origins. The problem this time is that I don’t really know a whole lot about Green Lantern aside from the fact that I live in Sector 2814 (*cue me hanging my head in nerdy shame*).  So this review is going to get filled in with some good ol’ fashioned fun movie judging. Sit back, relax, and see why I thought The Green Lantern was kind of a middling movie.

    SPOILERS AHEAD

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oazFv302DIM&w=560&h=349]

    I want to kick this off by saying that I love Ryan Reynolds’ abs… I mean acting. Damn. I’ll fix that I swear. He has boyish good looks, a wry smile and a charming charisma that even you boys can say you like without sounding too gay. IMHO he’s got a kind of Nathan Fillion-esque quality to him. Maybe it’s the water that they give those boys in Canada? Who knows. He pulls off the action sequences quite well, and even the more touching scenes between him and Blake Lively are pretty decent.

    "See what they did with my hair in this scene? It means that while I'm sexy and girly, I can still fly a plane."

    The main problem for me is that Ryan seems to lack a real dark side. Perhaps it’s just his innocence-exuding face but when he uttered the line “Because I’m afraid” I just didn’t buy it. No one else in the theater did either. That might just be him or the fact that I had no idea what he was afraid of. I might have missed it, but he’s a fighter pilot that has no problem launching his jet into the outer reaches of the atmosphere before tumbling back to earth but he’s afraid of… dying? That just seemed odd. And once he overcame his fear it felt very much like “Ok, well, that was nice, now I’m going to kick your ass.” It never had quite the gusto that Christian Bale had in Batman Begins. Uhh, sorry every comic book movie made after 2005, but you sort of have to live up to Christopher Nolan’s genius. Suck it, k? Cause you do.

    Which, let’s be honest, is incredibly difficult to do with this content. These are characters that have a ton of back story that needs to be filled in, from the Lantern Corps, their home planet Oa, and the Guardians that created it, you’ve got a lot that you’re asking the average movie goer to swallow.  Trying to include a giant backstory in a very short period of time can be done very successfully if you dumb it down enough (see: Star Trek 2009) or less successfully if it is hurried through at the beginning (see: Serenity). This one took the later approach and honestly, nerd to nerd, I was just mildly lost. I don’t really know any major Green Lantern fans so there was no one around to help smooth out the rough edges for me. It seemed to just cruise through certain relationships without developing them when I really wish it had.

    Moving on to the special effects…I was fairly impressed with them. Oa was awesome, the Green Lantern suit was amazing (despite what anyone might say). I even enjoyed Blake Lively. I guess what I’m saying is that I wish a bit more time had been spent mainstreaming this movie for audiences. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I felt like a lot of stuff went over people’s heads. Everyone I went with walked out kind of saying “meh.”  It did make me want to spend some time reading more of the Green Lantern comic books though, so it had that going for it.  I have my hopes pinned on the next movie, if they do one. At the very least, I look forward to Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool if that one comes together.

    It’ll have abs in it…right?

  • I went to the future birthplace of James Tiberius Kirk

    USS Riverside (NCC-1818)

    I mentioned on the facebook page last week that I would be MIA for a few days while I attended my cousin’s wedding in Iowa.  I hadn’t planned on doing anything non-wedding related but when my Mom and I found ourselves with a perfectly good Monday and nothing to fill it with there was really only one place we wanted to go.

    That’s right kids.  Riverside, Iowa.  Future birthplace of the one and only James T. Kirk.

    So we hopped in the car with my Aunt Lori and drove 2 hours East to a dinky little town with a population of 924.  It’s the home of the annual Trek Fest which we missed by 2 weeks (it’s June 24-25).  Bummer.  Oh well.  We got to see all the major landmarks which are all within about 5 blocks of each other (pretty sure the town is only 10 blocks long).

    So allow me to give you a tour of the town where the greatest Captain of all time was born and bred.  Enjoy.

    =/\=  <–that’s supposed to be a Star Trek insignia

    This is Murphy’s Bar & Grill, the place where Jimmy was conceived. That’s my Mom and Aunt Lori getting excited to see what’s inside.

    A hotbed of romance this place

     See that little bump on the floor underneath the pool table?

    The pool table of loooove

    That would be the plaque indicating that this is the very spot where Jimmy’s parents got it on.

    See? I told ya!

    I helpfully pointed out the parts needed for this conception.

    You're welcome for the biology lesson.

    We then moved on to where Jimmy was born behind the local barber shop.  When you see the flag on the lightpole you’ll know that you’re in the right place.

    Tada!

    Once behind the barber shop, you are presented with a monument that is eerily gravestone-like.

    Nothing creepy about that…

    We then proceeded to introduce ourselves to the local print shop owner.  He looked Amish but was super awesome.  I got into a tribble throwing battle with his grandson.  Because that’s what one does when in Riverside, Iowa.

    I do have a thing for men in suspenders…

    I bought some potholders crocheted by his wife.

    Best. Souvenir. Ever.

    We then headed to the local ice cream parlor where the walls are signed by TOS cast members.  What flavor did we get, you ask?  Some delicious concoction called “Oops.”

    Wrong hole, but nice try.

    After our frosty treat we made our way down to The Voyage Home, the local Star Trek/history museum and gift shop.  Outside is parked the infamous USS Riverside and Van Allen shuttle.

    Inside the museum is a display donated by the local movie theatre.

    Don't be fooled by the empty shelves, they're just rearranging for Trek Fest

    And a wooden carving of Jimmy that looks remarkably similar to Han Solo.  I felt the need to hold it’s hand.  I don’t know why.

    Hey good lookin'

    I can now die happy a happy Trekkie.

  • Hungry for some Hunger Games

    I read a lot.  I mean, A LOT.  As in, I’m pretty much exhausted every day because I’ll stay up until 1am (or 5am) reading when I should be sleeping because I don’t have any time during the day to satisfy my craving for the written word.

    I also read VERY quickly, a gene I picked up from my Dad.

    Therefore, I’m constantly on the lookout for new books of all types to read.  I mostly read sci-fi and fantasy but I’ll crack open pretty much anything.  I don’t mind YA novels, they CAN be pretty good.  Usually there’s not enough sex, but whatever, I can deal with that if there’s enough violence or something else to get me interested.  A friend recently recommended that I read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  I consulted with other friends via facebook and discovered that many people whose opinion I respect were equally as enthusiastic about the sci-fi series.  Kick. Ass.  Amazon, here I come.

    The trilogy arrived and I devoured them in 3 days.  Yes, 3 days.

    Here’s why (without giving too much away):

    I love fictional (not real, mind you) gratuitous violence.

    Yep, like that.

    I don’t know why but it makes me soooo happy.  Maybe it’s a generational thing and I grew up with too many violent movies and video games but the more blood and gore, the better.  I had a thing for horror movies as a kid and would gleefully watch as some dumb teenager got hacked apart.  Haha…I swear I’m not disturbed!  Anyhooters, The Hunger Games trilogy is full of violence.  Kids killing other kids for sport, traps designed to incite more violence, a civil war in which giant mutant human-lizard hybrids are dispatched to tear people limb from limb.  And the author isn’t afraid to kill off main characters.  It’s pretty awesome.

    I love strong women.

    Uhhh…not like that.

    The protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, would certainly be the most obvious example of this.  She risks her life daily by hunting illegally, doesn’t take shit from anyone, and runs into battle when she’s told to go and hide.  She rocks with a bow and arrow.  She also freaks out and shuts down on occasion, but wouldn’t you if you were 16 and forced to kill other kids?  She’s not the only example either; the series is full of bad ass ladies.

    I love love triangles.

    Is bigamy really so bad?

    They’re so juicy!  I’ve never watched a soap opera in my life but I can certainly appreciate a good love triangle.  I strive to live a drama-free life (cause I don’t need any of that bullshit) so it’s always fun to live vicariously via manufactured drama.  I’ve sort of been in the middle of love triangles myself and they sucked major monkey balls but when it’s all fake, it’s all good.  It’s agonizingly awesome when you want both guys to get the girl.  And I REALLY wanted both of these guys to get the girl.

    I love when advanced technology meets post war/apocalyptic/rudimentary conditions.

    I think yer gonna need some bigger torches

    Like in Terminator, District 9 or Cowboys & Aliens, there’s just something kind of awesome about conflicting genres joining together to create a whole new brand of bad ass.  In The Hunger Games, the Capitol utilizes cloaking hover crafts and high-tech showers (Uhmm, hello?  Can we please invent these already??) while forcing the Districts to live in poverty and squalor.

    I love when books make me cry.

    Not to sound like a pussy or anything, but I cried twice in the first 50 pages.  Yeah, I’m pretty embarrassed to admit that, but what the fuck, I admit all kinds of shit on this blog, right?  I kind of dig it when books make me cry, it means that they are that good and they touched a nerve.  There were parts of this series that devastated me.  For real.  I see a lot of myself in Katniss….uh…except for the whole killing people part…

    At any rate, I haven’t really done any book reviews, but even though I’ve read two books since finishing this series about a week ago, I’m still pretty obsessed with it so I figured I’d get it out of my system.  At least until the movie comes out in March, which I’m uber excited about.  My boss’s kid is friends with a girl who plays one of the Tributes and I’m being told good things about the film.

    “Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!”

  • X-Men: First Class – you got it wrong but I heart you anyways

    Hot Nerd Girl could be a superhero name…right?

    Oh Lordy do I love me some X-Men.  After Thor, it is probably my favorite comic book series.  No offense to Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc.  I adore you all but I had a particular hard on for X-Men growing up.

    So I’ll admit it.  When I first heard that there was going to be an X-Men prequel, my heart sank a little.  I’m generally pretty wary of prequels.  They scream “desperate attempt to make money off of a beloved franchise” to me.  But thanks to the successful prequel-ness of the latest Star Trek incarnation, I was willing to give it a shot.  That, and it couldn’t possibly be worse than Brett Ratner’s disjointed X-Men: The Last Stand.

    I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did.  And despite the fact that it went completely against pretty much everything that’s been established by the comic books as far as character histories, I had so much fun watching it.

    So I’m structuring my review much like I did for Thor.  Because I can. Beware, I spoil the crap out of things….

    [youtube:http://youtu.be/frcCCHb9LHc]

    I pretty much fell in love with James McAvoy the instant he came on screen as Mr. Tumnus in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and my love for him only deepened when I heard him speak in his native Scottish accent.  Drool.  I don’t know what it is about Scottish accents but they sure do it for me.  He also happens to be a brilliant actor.  It’s the little things about him, the slight facial expressions, how he reacts to the other actors, those dreamy blue eyes *le sigh*

    He's so dreamy…

    Anyhooters…he was an excellent choice to play a young Charles Xavier.

    Main deviation from the comic books:

    In the movie, Charles comments about being glad that he still has his hair.  In the comic books his hair is gone by the time he finishes high school.  Too much mental power for it to stick around (be grateful Jean Grey and Emma Frost, that your mental powers didn’t do that to you). The idea of him growing up with Raven Darkholme was an interesting choice.  He actually grew up with his step-brother Cain aka Juggernaut, and they most definitely did not get along.  And Hank getting all of the credit for building Cerebro is ludicrous.  Xavier built Cerebro, Hank later enhanced it.  His first students did include Beast and Angel…but it was Warren Worthington III (later Archangel) not Angel Salvadore.  Another of the first class?  Scott Summers aka Cyclops, NOT his brother Alex Summers aka Havok.  Iceman and Marvel Girl weren’t cool enough for this movie apparently so they just got ignored altogether.  I’ve been asked more than once how Professor X became a paraplegic.  Well thank you Matthew Vaughn, because now all of those people probably think I’m a jack ass. Contrary to what First Class would have you believe, Charles was NOT crippled by a bullet intended for Magneto.  He was actually crippled by an alien named Lucifer who dropped a big ol’ boulder on his legs.  MUCH more believable thankyouverymuch.

    I vaguely remember Michael Fassbender from Inglourious Basterds but, to be honest, I never really paid much attention to him.  Until now.  Damn, that boy can act too.  I liked that he looked a little older than everyone else after what he’d been through during the holocaust and the scene in the bar in Argentina was one of my fave moments in the film.

    Hey, that dorky hat comes in handy

    Main deviation from the comic books:

    Erik Lehnsherr (who was actually born Max Eisenhardt by the by) was not experimented on during the holocaust (at least, not that I remember, correct me if I’m wrong).  In a way, his experience was even worse.  He was a Sonderkommando.  For those who don’t read up on history as a hobby (yeesh, could I get any nerdier?) a Sonderkommando was a Jew whose job in the concentration camp was to dispose of the bodies of fellow Jews killed in the gas chambers.

    Yup, that’s bound to fuck you up a bit.

    He later met Charles while working at an Israeli mental hospital…around the time Charles knocked up a girl who had been in a coma.  Uhhh yeah…we won’t go into that.  Erik does get his hands on some Nazi gold that he uses to fund his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but that was only after he had teamed up with Charles to defeat Baron Wolfang von Strucker.

    At least they got rid of that slightly slimy look

    As for the other good guys…it’s so funny to me how, in the movies, they took the scales and ran with it for Mystique.  I’m assuming it’s just an excuse to get away with seeing a hot naked chick while maintaining a PG-13 rating.  Mystique did briefly have scales in the comic books when she was exposed to radiation while saving Toad.  But the vast majority of the time, she’s just blue….and clothed…albeit scantily.  Her flirtation with Hank in the movie was cute but her true love was a blind, alien-looking chick named Destiny.  Jennifer Lawrence is a promising young actress though.  I’m super looking forward to seeing her as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games next March.  Hank McCoy and the whole serum thing was pretty right on.  Although I remember Beast turning gray when he first sprouted hair. Nicholas Hoult (the kid from About a Boy) has grown into quite the handsome young dude!  I liked the sheepish nerd vibe he brought to the character.

    As for Lenny Kravitz’ little girl, Miss Zoe is still honing her acting chops but she did alright.  I’m just glad they didn’t show Angel laying eggs or eating her dinner like a fly.  Blech.  Oh, and she was rescued by Wolverine and brought to Professor X…not found by Cerebro. I already brought up how Havok should not be in the picture yet but I’ll add one more bit.  Much like Shaw, Alex has to store up energy in order to be able to send out blasts of plasma.  It’s not infinite.  So that whole bit about him being in jail because he can’t control himself was definitely manufactured for the film.  Sean Cassidy was another puzzling addition for me.  He had a whole life as a detective in Ireland and was involved in the whole IRA thing.  Banshee was a codename assigned to him by Factor Three who forced him to commit crimes by strapping a headband full of explosives to him.  Stylish, right?  He was later rescued by Professor X but not before he pissed off his brother, Black Tom Cassidy and lost his daughter, Siryn…all of which happened before he joined the X-Men.  I honestly don’t remember much about Darwin, other than him being a ghost for a while, but I’m pretty sure he never got killed off.

    Aaaaaaand…where do I begin with Moira???  First off, she is a geneticist, not a CIA agent.  Her last name should be Kinross at this point, not MacTaggert.  She is Charles first love and helps him found the X-Men and all but in the end she ends up with Banshee.  Seriously, my head was spinning with how off her character was.  BUT I LOVE Rose Byrne and she did a fantastic job.  And damn that girl looks good in a garter belt.

    They chose Sebastian Shaw to be the main villain.  It was a good choice.  Aside from Magneto, he’s one of the most prevalent villains in the X-Men ‘verse.  Kevin Bacon cracks me up.  He’s so good at being a snarky little shit.  He doesn’t disappoint here even though it’s a little bizarre seeing him as a Nazi.

    Emma and Sebastian sittin' in a reactor K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    Main deviation from the comic books?

    They beefed up his power a bit and I don’t remember him using his power to keep his looks youthful but otherwise they pretty much nailed his billionaire playboy attitude.  As far as I know he was never involved with the Nazi’s. He was, however, responsible for the mutant destroying Sentinels.  His first battle with the X-Men was during the Dark Phoenix saga.  At that point Sage was working for Shaw as a personal assistant while spying on him for Professor X.

    Anyone know how Shaw is connected to Iron Man’s dad Howard Stark?

    Sorry guys, I couldn't find a picture of Moira in the garter belt so you'll just have to settle for Emma. Tough, I know.

    January Jones wouldn’t have been my first choice for Emma Frost but I think she did a pretty good job.  I wasn’t hugely impressed with the effect of her in her diamond state, but as many a Twilight fan can attest…getting those damn diamond effects can be challenging.  I remember Riptide releasing little projectile stakes while spinning really fast…not so much for creating tornados and crap.  I’m not sure why they felt the need to change that, other than to bring down the stealth jet during the climax…which I guess is an ok reason.  That devil-looking guy that looks an awful lot like Nightcrawler and uses the same teleportation effect?  That would be Azazel.  And he looks like Nightcrawler because he’s Nightcrawler’s daddy.  Are you wondering why Nightcrawler is blue? That would be because Mystique is his mama…and threw him down a well after he was born.  Azazel is biblical and should TECHNICALLY be trapped in an alternate dimension.  Thanks to his teleportation skillz he’s able to come here every once in a while for just long enough to knock up a random woman.  Which he does.  Often.

    It may sound like I’m being critical but these are all details schmetails.  I really did LOVE this movie.  The Cuban Missile Crisis scene is fantastic and the cameos by Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn were brilliant.

    Now please excuse me while I go drool over James McAvoy some more.

    Yup, still dreamy…

    4.5 out of 5 sci-fives

  • Nerd vs. Geek vs. Dork

    There seems to be some confusion about what constitutes a nerd, a geek, or a dork.  I weighed this very carefully when deciding what to name this blog (that I was convinced no one but my Mom would ever read).  I very nearly called this whole venture “Hot Geek Girl” but after several discussions with friends (who are also nerdy/geeky/dorky) we came to the conclusion that “Nerd” was the most accurate description of my near obsession with all things sci-fi, fantasy and comic book related.

    That being said, I call myself a “geek” and a “dork” all the time.  As far as I’m concerned, all three terms are a compliment and I figure I fit into all categories in some way or another.  So this post is NOT an attempt to start a definition war, it IS an exploration into terminology that many people have very strong opinions about.

    After yet another round of discussions with friends and fellow nerds, here is the Dictionary’s definition and then our definition.

    NERD

    Dictionary:

    –noun Slang .

    1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.

    2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.

    HNG:

    My feeling is that a Nerd is more pop-culture oriented. They like sci-fi, fantasy, comic books, etc. They can rattle off trivia with Wikipedia-esque relish and detail. They know how warp drives and flux capacitors work and might even try to build them for personal use. They have costumes, props and collectibles and have most likely reenacted at least one fictional futuristic battle. They go to conventions and convene in chat groups online to share knowledge and learn minute details about their favorite shows. They go to movies on opening day. I say sci-fi/fantasy, but really this is applies to any group. There are definitely a lot of sports nerds/geeks out there (and they are all on ESPN) but a lot of people that would qualify as a “nerd” are people that like the really out there stuff, like competitive table tennis. Which in the US might come off as incredibly nerdy, but in China, totally cool.

    Celeb examples: Kevin Smith, Nicolas Cage

    GEEK

    Dictionary:

    –noun Slang .

    1. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)

    2. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, especially one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.

    3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.

    HNG:

    I’ve always felt that geeks were more technology oriented.  They focus more on computers, video games and gadgetry. If you geek out on things like wine, food or art, congratulations, you’re a hipster. Geeks usually own a ton of t-shirts with obscure gamer references that most people wouldn’t understand.  They are first in line when the new iPhone comes out.  There’s a good chance they play Mob Wars or Angry Birds.  They can hack into their schools database and change everyone’s SAT scores.  A lot of gamers might classify themselves as geeks but if they can’t code a game for you, they’re just a gamer in my book. And ain’t nuthin wrong with that. Typically they’re that person at the party that keeps talking because they have so much info they find so interesting and they want to share it with you very, very badly but who eventually ends up not talking to anyone and instead goes home and programs/builds something that turns into a billion dollars. This is how Facebook was born.

    Celeb examples: Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison

    DORK

    Dictionary:

    –noun Slang .

    1. a stupid or ridiculous person; jerk; nerd.

    2. Vulgar . penis.

    HNG:

    I think Dorks are just like they sound, dorky (that’s not a bad thing – it OFTEN describes me to a tee).  They tend to have nerd and geek traits, although not neccesarily.  They can even be a little socially awkward about it…like proclaiming to a room full of Ivy-leaguers that it’s not a matter of if, but when, the zombie apocalypse will happen and having them all stare at you like you just sprouted tentacles from your forehead (yes, I did that). But the greatest dorks of them all do embarrassing things sometimes but rarely get embarrassed.  They accept themselves for who they are and make no apologies.  Very similar to the coolest people you’ve ever met in your life except these guys like stuff further outside the norm, like most geeks/gamers the difference is they aren’t afraid to show it. And the best dorks eventually drag you into their silly antics without you knowing where they came from. Like Santarchy or BYOBW. Sometimes it’s to do anything that will make you laugh, other times it’s just cause they love whatever it is.

    Celeb examples: Robin Williams, Daniel Tosh

    One thing we can all probably agree on…that the Dictionary is a major asshole.