After a weekend hiatus from writing movie reviews to visit Kirk’s birthplace (oh and go to my cousins wedding), I’m back on the horse with one of the summers most anticipated comic book movies The Green Lantern.
(Side note: if you were hoping I’d review Super 8 this past Monday, have no fear. I’m planning to see it at some crazy new theatre with D-Box seats on Wednesday night so, if I do, I’ll put something together for Thursday or Friday.)
I was stoked to see DC bring Ryan Reynolds’ abs to their comic universe. Wait….. no, I’ll stick with abs 🙂
Wrong movie, you say? Ask me how much I care.
As you know, I spend a good amount of my time grading comic book movies on how successful they are with staying true to the content of their origins. The problem this time is that I don’t really know a whole lot about Green Lantern aside from the fact that I live in Sector 2814 (*cue me hanging my head in nerdy shame*). So this review is going to get filled in with some good ol’ fashioned fun movie judging. Sit back, relax, and see why I thought The Green Lantern was kind of a middling movie.
I want to kick this off by saying that I love Ryan Reynolds’ abs… I mean acting. Damn. I’ll fix that I swear. He has boyish good looks, a wry smile and a charming charisma that even you boys can say you like without sounding too gay. IMHO he’s got a kind of Nathan Fillion-esque quality to him. Maybe it’s the water that they give those boys in Canada? Who knows. He pulls off the action sequences quite well, and even the more touching scenes between him and Blake Lively are pretty decent.
"See what they did with my hair in this scene? It means that while I'm sexy and girly, I can still fly a plane."
The main problem for me is that Ryan seems to lack a real dark side. Perhaps it’s just his innocence-exuding face but when he uttered the line “Because I’m afraid” I just didn’t buy it. No one else in the theater did either. That might just be him or the fact that I had no idea what he was afraid of. I might have missed it, but he’s a fighter pilot that has no problem launching his jet into the outer reaches of the atmosphere before tumbling back to earth but he’s afraid of… dying? That just seemed odd. And once he overcame his fear it felt very much like “Ok, well, that was nice, now I’m going to kick your ass.” It never had quite the gusto that Christian Bale had in Batman Begins. Uhh, sorry every comic book movie made after 2005, but you sort of have to live up to Christopher Nolan’s genius. Suck it, k? Cause you do.
Which, let’s be honest, is incredibly difficult to do with this content. These are characters that have a ton of back story that needs to be filled in, from the Lantern Corps, their home planet Oa, and the Guardians that created it, you’ve got a lot that you’re asking the average movie goer to swallow. Trying to include a giant backstory in a very short period of time can be done very successfully if you dumb it down enough (see: Star Trek 2009) or less successfully if it is hurried through at the beginning (see: Serenity). This one took the later approach and honestly, nerd to nerd, I was just mildly lost. I don’t really know any major Green Lantern fans so there was no one around to help smooth out the rough edges for me. It seemed to just cruise through certain relationships without developing them when I really wish it had.
Moving on to the special effects…I was fairly impressed with them. Oa was awesome, the Green Lantern suit was amazing (despite what anyone might say). I even enjoyed Blake Lively. I guess what I’m saying is that I wish a bit more time had been spent mainstreaming this movie for audiences. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I felt like a lot of stuff went over people’s heads. Everyone I went with walked out kind of saying “meh.” It did make me want to spend some time reading more of the Green Lantern comic books though, so it had that going for it. I have my hopes pinned on the next movie, if they do one. At the very least, I look forward to Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool if that one comes together.
Oh Lordy do I love me some X-Men. After Thor, it is probably my favorite comic book series. No offense to Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc. I adore you all but I had a particular hard on for X-Men growing up.
So I’ll admit it. When I first heard that there was going to be an X-Men prequel, my heart sank a little. I’m generally pretty wary of prequels. They scream “desperate attempt to make money off of a beloved franchise” to me. But thanks to the successful prequel-ness of the latest Star Trek incarnation, I was willing to give it a shot. That, and it couldn’t possibly be worse than Brett Ratner’s disjointed X-Men: The Last Stand.
I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. And despite the fact that it went completely against pretty much everything that’s been established by the comic books as far as character histories, I had so much fun watching it.
So I’m structuring my review much like I did for Thor. Because I can. Beware, I spoil the crap out of things….
[youtube:http://youtu.be/frcCCHb9LHc]
I pretty much fell in love with James McAvoy the instant he came on screen as Mr. Tumnus in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and my love for him only deepened when I heard him speak in his native Scottish accent. Drool. I don’t know what it is about Scottish accents but they sure do it for me. He also happens to be a brilliant actor. It’s the little things about him, the slight facial expressions, how he reacts to the other actors, those dreamy blue eyes *le sigh*
He's so dreamy…
Anyhooters…he was an excellent choice to play a young Charles Xavier.
Main deviation from the comic books:
In the movie, Charles comments about being glad that he still has his hair. In the comic books his hair is gone by the time he finishes high school. Too much mental power for it to stick around (be grateful Jean Grey and Emma Frost, that your mental powers didn’t do that to you). The idea of him growing up with Raven Darkholme was an interesting choice. He actually grew up with his step-brother Cain aka Juggernaut, and they most definitely did not get along. And Hank getting all of the credit for building Cerebro is ludicrous. Xavier built Cerebro, Hank later enhanced it. His first students did include Beast and Angel…but it was Warren Worthington III (later Archangel) not Angel Salvadore. Another of the first class? Scott Summers aka Cyclops, NOT his brother Alex Summers aka Havok. Iceman and Marvel Girl weren’t cool enough for this movie apparently so they just got ignored altogether. I’ve been asked more than once how Professor X became a paraplegic. Well thank you Matthew Vaughn, because now all of those people probably think I’m a jack ass. Contrary to what First Class would have you believe, Charles was NOT crippled by a bullet intended for Magneto. He was actually crippled by an alien named Lucifer who dropped a big ol’ boulder on his legs. MUCH more believable thankyouverymuch.
I vaguely remember Michael Fassbender from Inglourious Basterds but, to be honest, I never really paid much attention to him. Until now. Damn, that boy can act too. I liked that he looked a little older than everyone else after what he’d been through during the holocaust and the scene in the bar in Argentina was one of my fave moments in the film.
Hey, that dorky hat comes in handy
Main deviation from the comic books:
Erik Lehnsherr (who was actually born Max Eisenhardt by the by) was not experimented on during the holocaust (at least, not that I remember, correct me if I’m wrong). In a way, his experience was even worse. He was a Sonderkommando. For those who don’t read up on history as a hobby (yeesh, could I get any nerdier?) a Sonderkommando was a Jew whose job in the concentration camp was to dispose of the bodies of fellow Jews killed in the gas chambers.
Yup, that’s bound to fuck you up a bit.
He later met Charles while working at an Israeli mental hospital…around the time Charles knocked up a girl who had been in a coma. Uhhh yeah…we won’t go into that. Erik does get his hands on some Nazi gold that he uses to fund his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but that was only after he had teamed up with Charles to defeat Baron Wolfang von Strucker.
At least they got rid of that slightly slimy look
As for the other good guys…it’s so funny to me how, in the movies, they took the scales and ran with it for Mystique. I’m assuming it’s just an excuse to get away with seeing a hot naked chick while maintaining a PG-13 rating. Mystique did briefly have scales in the comic books when she was exposed to radiation while saving Toad. But the vast majority of the time, she’s just blue….and clothed…albeit scantily. Her flirtation with Hank in the movie was cute but her true love was a blind, alien-looking chick named Destiny. Jennifer Lawrence is a promising young actress though. I’m super looking forward to seeing her as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games next March. Hank McCoy and the whole serum thing was pretty right on. Although I remember Beast turning gray when he first sprouted hair. Nicholas Hoult (the kid from About a Boy) has grown into quite the handsome young dude! I liked the sheepish nerd vibe he brought to the character.
As for Lenny Kravitz’ little girl, Miss Zoe is still honing her acting chops but she did alright. I’m just glad they didn’t show Angel laying eggs or eating her dinner like a fly. Blech. Oh, and she was rescued by Wolverine and brought to Professor X…not found by Cerebro. I already brought up how Havok should not be in the picture yet but I’ll add one more bit. Much like Shaw, Alex has to store up energy in order to be able to send out blasts of plasma. It’s not infinite. So that whole bit about him being in jail because he can’t control himself was definitely manufactured for the film. Sean Cassidy was another puzzling addition for me. He had a whole life as a detective in Ireland and was involved in the whole IRA thing. Banshee was a codename assigned to him by Factor Three who forced him to commit crimes by strapping a headband full of explosives to him. Stylish, right? He was later rescued by Professor X but not before he pissed off his brother, Black Tom Cassidy and lost his daughter, Siryn…all of which happened before he joined the X-Men. I honestly don’t remember much about Darwin, other than him being a ghost for a while, but I’m pretty sure he never got killed off.
Aaaaaaand…where do I begin with Moira??? First off, she is a geneticist, not a CIA agent. Her last name should be Kinross at this point, not MacTaggert. She is Charles first love and helps him found the X-Men and all but in the end she ends up with Banshee. Seriously, my head was spinning with how off her character was. BUT I LOVE Rose Byrne and she did a fantastic job. And damn that girl looks good in a garter belt.
They chose Sebastian Shaw to be the main villain. It was a good choice. Aside from Magneto, he’s one of the most prevalent villains in the X-Men ‘verse. Kevin Bacon cracks me up. He’s so good at being a snarky little shit. He doesn’t disappoint here even though it’s a little bizarre seeing him as a Nazi.
Emma and Sebastian sittin' in a reactor K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Main deviation from the comic books?
They beefed up his power a bit and I don’t remember him using his power to keep his looks youthful but otherwise they pretty much nailed his billionaire playboy attitude. As far as I know he was never involved with the Nazi’s. He was, however, responsible for the mutant destroying Sentinels. His first battle with the X-Men was during the Dark Phoenix saga. At that point Sage was working for Shaw as a personal assistant while spying on him for Professor X.
Anyone know how Shaw is connected to Iron Man’s dad Howard Stark?
Sorry guys, I couldn't find a picture of Moira in the garter belt so you'll just have to settle for Emma. Tough, I know.
January Jones wouldn’t have been my first choice for Emma Frost but I think she did a pretty good job. I wasn’t hugely impressed with the effect of her in her diamond state, but as many a Twilight fan can attest…getting those damn diamond effects can be challenging. I remember Riptide releasing little projectile stakes while spinning really fast…not so much for creating tornados and crap. I’m not sure why they felt the need to change that, other than to bring down the stealth jet during the climax…which I guess is an ok reason. That devil-looking guy that looks an awful lot like Nightcrawler and uses the same teleportation effect? That would be Azazel. And he looks like Nightcrawler because he’s Nightcrawler’s daddy. Are you wondering why Nightcrawler is blue? That would be because Mystique is his mama…and threw him down a well after he was born. Azazel is biblical and should TECHNICALLY be trapped in an alternate dimension. Thanks to his teleportation skillz he’s able to come here every once in a while for just long enough to knock up a random woman. Which he does. Often.
It may sound like I’m being critical but these are all details schmetails. I really did LOVE this movie. The Cuban Missile Crisis scene is fantastic and the cameos by Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn were brilliant.
Now please excuse me while I go drool over James McAvoy some more.
There seems to be some confusion about what constitutes a nerd, a geek, or a dork. I weighed this very carefully when deciding what to name this blog (that I was convinced no one but my Mom would ever read). I very nearly called this whole venture “Hot Geek Girl” but after several discussions with friends (who are also nerdy/geeky/dorky) we came to the conclusion that “Nerd” was the most accurate description of my near obsession with all things sci-fi, fantasy and comic book related.
That being said, I call myself a “geek” and a “dork” all the time. As far as I’m concerned, all three terms are a compliment and I figure I fit into all categories in some way or another. So this post is NOT an attempt to start a definition war, it IS an exploration into terminology that many people have very strong opinions about.
After yet another round of discussions with friends and fellow nerds, here is the Dictionary’s definition and then our definition.
NERD
Dictionary:
–noun Slang .
1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.
2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.
HNG:
My feeling is that a Nerd is more pop-culture oriented. They like sci-fi, fantasy, comic books, etc. They can rattle off trivia with Wikipedia-esque relish and detail. They know how warp drives and flux capacitors work and might even try to build them for personal use. They have costumes, props and collectibles and have most likely reenacted at least one fictional futuristic battle. They go to conventions and convene in chat groups online to share knowledge and learn minute details about their favorite shows. They go to movies on opening day. I say sci-fi/fantasy, but really this is applies to any group. There are definitely a lot of sports nerds/geeks out there (and they are all on ESPN) but a lot of people that would qualify as a “nerd” are people that like the really out there stuff, like competitive table tennis. Which in the US might come off as incredibly nerdy, but in China, totally cool.
Celeb examples: Kevin Smith, Nicolas Cage
GEEK
Dictionary:
–noun Slang .
1. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
2. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, especially one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.
3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.
HNG:
I’ve always felt that geeks were more technology oriented. They focus more on computers, video games and gadgetry. If you geek out on things like wine, food or art, congratulations, you’re a hipster. Geeks usually own a ton of t-shirts with obscure gamer references that most people wouldn’t understand. They are first in line when the new iPhone comes out. There’s a good chance they play Mob Wars or Angry Birds. They can hack into their schools database and change everyone’s SAT scores. A lot of gamers might classify themselves as geeks but if they can’t code a game for you, they’re just a gamer in my book. And ain’t nuthin wrong with that. Typically they’re that person at the party that keeps talking because they have so much info they find so interesting and they want to share it with you very, very badly but who eventually ends up not talking to anyone and instead goes home and programs/builds something that turns into a billion dollars. This is how Facebook was born.
Celeb examples: Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison
DORK
Dictionary:
–noun Slang .
1. a stupid or ridiculous person; jerk; nerd.
2. Vulgar . penis.
HNG:
I think Dorks are just like they sound, dorky (that’s not a bad thing – it OFTEN describes me to a tee). They tend to have nerd and geek traits, although not neccesarily. They can even be a little socially awkward about it…like proclaiming to a room full of Ivy-leaguers that it’s not a matter of if, but when, the zombie apocalypse will happen and having them all stare at you like you just sprouted tentacles from your forehead (yes, I did that). But the greatest dorks of them all do embarrassing things sometimes but rarely get embarrassed. They accept themselves for who they are and make no apologies. Very similar to the coolest people you’ve ever met in your life except these guys like stuff further outside the norm, like most geeks/gamers the difference is they aren’t afraid to show it. And the best dorks eventually drag you into their silly antics without you knowing where they came from. Like Santarchy or BYOBW. Sometimes it’s to do anything that will make you laugh, other times it’s just cause they love whatever it is.
Celeb examples: Robin Williams, Daniel Tosh
One thing we can all probably agree on…that the Dictionary is a major asshole.
I know a lot of people who don’t really care for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise as a whole. They thought the first one was fun and the 2nd and 3rd ones were convoluted pieces of crap. Therefore, I had a hard time finding someone who would see #4 with me. Luckily I have an awesome Mom who just happened to be visiting this weekend. We both like the films for the most part (although I take issue with parts of At Worlds End). I guess I’m just a sucker for action adventure.
On Stranger Tides is based on a novel of the same name by Tim Powers. It’s appropriately named since it is, well, a bit strange. Power’s novel prominently features voodoo, something that Disney opted to keep and force (not always successfully) into the world of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Barbossa's spiffy new duds!
I’m sure you know the basic plot, that everyone is searching for the legendary fountain of youth. It’s not really clear why everyone (especially Captain Jack Sparrow) is trying to find it. For Blackbeard (Ian McShane), it’s because he’s heard a prophecy about his death and he’s trying to escape his fate. Everyone else wants to find it for no apparent reason. We find out later why Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the Spanish are looking for it but for Jack, it seems to just be something to do.
As for the fountain, for a secret supposedly taken to the grave by Ponce de Leon, a whole lot of people seem to know all about it. Not just it, but the rather complicated ritual you need to go through to drink from it. By the by, I’ve been to St. Augustine, Florida (PdL was supposedly the first European to set foot in Florida) so I know for a fact that Ponce died and is buried in Cuba and was not left to mummify in a ship perched up on a rock. But whatever, I’m willing to suspend belief a little.
Fun fact: Ponce de Leon wasn’t looking for the fountain of youth to give him long life…nope, he was more concerned about it curing his impotence (how is one supposed to rape and brutalize the natives if he can’t get it up, right?)
The ritual requires a mermaid’s tear which requires capturing a mermaid which requires sacrificing a whole lot of minions since mermaids apparently cross-bred with vampires somewhere along the line. They’re hot and they sing but Ariel they most certainly are not. My mom was a little disappointed by the viciousness of the mermaids and I can see why. As the daughter of a sailor, I learned that mermaids are not unlike the sirens of Greek mythology. They hypnotize sailors with their beautiful singing and the entranced sailors would walk or dive off of the ship in order to get to them, unfortunately drowning in the process. Or the sailors are nabbed by mermaids who forget that humans can’t breathe underwater and accidentally drown them while trying to show them their sweet underwater digs. Personally, if the mermaids of my youth had been more like these gals, I would have pretended to be one more often. There was a certain degree of “girl power” to these half mermaid-half vampire ladies…at least until one actually got captured and needed to be rescued by a big strong man. Then the whole “girl power” message kind of went right out the window.
How would you like it if your date went from this……to this! yeesh…
Ah well…at least I still had a strong woman in Penelope Cruz. She can fight! She can seduce! She can command a ship! The only thing I didn’t really care for was her borderline creepy obsession with her Dad. Speaking of which…Ian McShane was solid as Blackbeard thanks to his icy eyes. I couldn’t buy into him being a master of black magic but I got a kick out of seeing him in a non-western setting. Geoffrey Rush could read the phone book and make it interesting. His frenemy relationship with Jack was in full swing. Sadly, the person who felt most out of place was Jack and I think it’s because they tried to force the character into Jack Shandy’s role in the book. Despite Johnny Depp’s best efforts, the two characters just don’t really mesh. I missed most of the crew members from the Black Pearl, although my favorite of them, Gibbs (Kevin McNally) was there. I was uber excited to see Keith Richards again as Jack’s Daddy but was sorely disappointed by his wooden performance. This is the guy that Depp based Jack’s zaniness on after all.
In the end, it was a fun and entertaining movie but not one that I necessarily need to see again.
I wanted to do something special for my 50th blog post but I couldn’t think of what would be worthy. Then it came to me. The reason I’m here, literally and nerdally (I think I just coined a new word?) is because of my Mom. She’s the coolest, most awesome Mom ever. She’s my best friend and confidant. She has guided me through everything. She more than deserves to have a milestone post written about her.
She's really Team Edward but she took one for the team
A while back I asked my Mother via text message to give me a nerdy topic to write about. Here’s how the text convo went:
HNG: “Give me a nerdy topic”
Mom: “Computers”
HNG: “Something else”
Mom: “Driving”
HNG: “That’s not nerdy lol”
Mom: “I am”
Uhhhh…ok…?
She then proceeded to go to the Apple Store.
I don’t think she quite understood the question but it did get me thinking. I am the nerd I am today because of my Mother.
Since she introduced me to the original Star Trek as a newborn, I can’t deny that it’s true.
We fight hostile alien species together
This is the woman who will brave screaming tweens with me to attend a Twilight event even though she’s never had time to read the books (she likes the movies). She drove for an hour so that I could meet John de Lancie in High School. She took me to Vegas for the first time and bought me my first Starfleet uniform back when Star Trek: the Experience was brand new and still carried quality uniforms. She will always go to opening night of any nerdy movie with me. She let me paint my room dark blue and then didn’t flinch when I put up enough glow-in-the-dark stars and posters to cover up the new paint job. She’s a real trooper (though not of the starship variety).
Oh Q, my love for you is omnipotent
She is roughly the size of an Ewok (5 feet, 85 lbs) but didn’t hesitate to jump kick my brother (ninja style!) when he talked back to her once as a teenager. She was one of only a few women in the Idaho Forest Service and could chop down trees and fight forest fires alongside the big burly men.
In the face of tragedy she shows a strength that any superhero would be in awe of. My Mother is not only my best friend, she’s my hero and, much as I love Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker, they could never top her in my eyes.
If you think you have a cooler Mom than me, chances are you’re wrong.
If it's a staring contest you want Mr. Bettany, bring it on.
It wasn’t. Wow. What a great way to kick off a review. More detail you ask? Well here ya go…
To give you a little background, yes, Priest is most certainly a graphic novel adaption as so many sci-fi/fantasy films seem to be these days. It’s set in a world where apparently man and vampire have co-existed forever. And when I mean forever I mean (according to the cartoon that plays out the back story at the beginning) this has literally been going on since man was on horseback, right through up until we created flame throwers. And man somehow was just barely able to fend off vampires this entire time until the “church” was able to create “Priests” who received special training to fight vampires, thus winning the war for humanity.
[youtube:http://youtu.be/JghQgA2HMX8]
Don’t worry, I haven’t ruined the movie for you since they explain this in the first five minutes of film. Just know that this setup colored my view of the movie all the way through. And that may sound odd coming from someone who is admittedly on Team Edward, but the fact that guns and flame throwers were no match for vampires but one dude with tiny little crucifix-like throwing daggers could mess them up, was just too much for me.
Then again, this one guy is Paul Bettany. And I love me some Paul Bettany. He did the same growly/dark/brooding thing he did in Legion/Da Vinci Code, which is fine. I mean, who has a problem with watching Jeffrey Chaucer kick ass? Not me. But kick ass in 3D? That one was a bit of a stretch. A good 90% of the movie takes place in the dark. Without the multitude of colors that you usually see in a movie, the 3D in it just did not work. The added dimensions get lost in the varying shades of black.
Maggie Q did the usual animatronic acting/fighting. Cam Gigadent was actually pretty good as the young kid who chases after his love interest. And Karl Urban, you get a pass because you’re Karl Urban and I still need to watch Pathfinder.
Dental floss… not just for G-strings jokes anymore.
In all honestly guys, I wanted to like it. Dystopian future ruled by the church? What’s not to like? But the execution was just tiresome and the dialogue was like it was written by a fifth grader. Oh well. At least I had fun taking some of the photos for the poster 🙂
One of out Five Sci-Fives… (but only cause I love you Paul and Karl).
A while back I admitted to being a late bloomer to the greatness that is Battlestar Galactica…cause seriously, I’m waaaaaay too busy to watch every single TV show that comes out, nerdy or not. Aside from developing an unhealthy addiction to speed in order to eek a few more hours out of my day, my solution was to wait until the entire series came out on DVD and then watch it all in an epic month long marathon.
Personally, I think I made the right decision on this one. I don’t know how people waited from week to week to find out what happened next. Sounds like torture to me.
I finished my marathon a few weeks ago so I thought it might be fun to do a little wrap up of all things BSG. Some totally random parting thoughts…
1. Anyone else think it’s funny that when Lee and Dee got married, their names rhymed? Even funnier for me was the fact that her name became Dualla Adama. I don’t know why, but that cracks me up. Oh wait, Dualla is her last name? What’s her first name? Anastasia? Where the frak did that come from?
2. Oh Boomer. Boomer, Boomer, Boomer. There were times when I really had hope for you and then you would go and frak it all up. I mean, really, you HAD to beat the shit out of Athena, then bang her husband right in front of her? Beee-yatch! I guess you sort of redeemed yourself at the end but I would have shot you in the face too.
3. Why was Six the only Cylon who got to try out different hair do’s? I’m sure Eight would have liked to have rocked something other than stringy bangs for once.
4. I love how Kat went from flashing her naughty bits in D’Anna’s documentary to suddenly having to hide her past from everyone. Damn girl, you need to get your shit straight.
5. I’m not sure what this says about me, but I liked Saul way more AFTER he found out he was a Cylon. Tory? Never really liked her.
6. Helo, you went from being a throwaway character to being one of the most important characters on the whole show. Not really sure how you did that, but I’m very glad you did. And dude, you’re huge. What are you, like half giant or something?
7. I miss Billy, he was such a sweet kid.
8. So what the frak was Starbuck anyways? An Angel? I was obsessed with suns, moons and stars as a kid and used to paint them on EVERYTHING…does that mean I’ll end up like her?
9. Dude, I don’t care if he’s a Cylon, a vegetable, a hybrid, whatever, when it comes to Anders I would totally hit that. He was one sexy bitch. And he waits for you on the other side, isn’t that adorable?
10. Laura Roslin is my kinda woman, it’s too bad she spent so much time being cancer girl. I watched someone near and dear to me waste away from that last year, it was hard to watch that again.
11. The look Tyrol gave Tory when he saw that she had killed Cally was crazy. When he snapped his head around like that, it was like watching a Borg or a Terminator. It really brought home the fact that he was a machine.
12. I love that Badger ends up being the President of the Colonies.
13. Cally smelled like cabbage? WTF is in that algae shit anyways?
14. Hot Dog, I know you’re EJO’s kid and all, but this video is probably the best thing I could find of you from BSG.
[youtube:http://youtu.be/u2RuHAqvp6s]
Oh, and you got knocked out by a girl. An awesome girl. But a girl nonetheless.
15. Soooooo….are we all Human-Cylon hybrids descended from Hera? Cause that was the past right? Or is it the future? Does this mean that we can blame the Japanese and their creepy humanoid robots for the near destruction of humanity?
16. I, too, would like some resurrection technology. Thanks Helen….uhhh…Mom.
17. Holy frakking shit Dee. I never saw that one coming.
18. Really Helen, you modeled One after your dad and then you did the “swirl” with him? That is disturbing on so many levels.
19. TNG Number One = hot. BSG Number One = not.
20. Gaeta, you went from being one of my very favorite characters to my least favorite. The way your storyline ended made me sad. See? –> 🙁
21. Tahmoh Penikett – what the hell kind of name is that? You’re Canadian and your sisters are named Sarah and Stephanie. I don’t get it.
22. Baltar – you crazy.
23. I kind of had a thing for you Lee Adama. Then Anders came along and you were sort of old news. Then you ditched the uniform, and while I’ll admit you look pretty spiffy in a suit, it doesn’t compare to the uniform. Then I found out you tried to have sex with Starbuck while she was engaged to your brother. Now I kind of think you’re a douche. A cute douche.
24. Admiral Adama, I would follow you to the end of the galaxy too. I’ve learned this about myself. But you kind of spit when you’re mad. Or sad. Or drunk. It’s a little gross. But I still heart you.
25. Humans will never, ever change. We see native peoples and just assume that they’ll want to procreate with us. Excuse me, Mr. Tribesman? Would you mind whipping it out for us? We really need to breed. kthx.
Holy shit do I love me some Thor. So stop here if you don’t want to read any spoilers…. 😛
When you grow up with Norwegian heritage there are a few things you learn very early on. One is how to make lefse with every single female relative you’ve ever had. Two is that lutefisk MUST have been the inspiration for Klingon cuisine. Three is that the Gods of Asgard are a source of national pride and woe be unto the person who doesn’t show the proper respect.
So naturally Thor would be a favorite comic book character of mine.
Kind of like with Harry Potter I’m always simultaneously nervous and excited when a movie about a character I love makes its way to the big screen. Sometimes I’m ok when they change the story up and sometimes I’m not. It all depends on how they do it.
Thor the movie differs from Thor the comic in several key points but for some reason it didn’t really bother me. Maybe it’s because Kenneth Branagh was at the helm (hehehe) and the Shakespeare lover in me adores him. Plus I owe him for reminding me that Thursday is named after Thor (get it? Thor’s Day?)
Chris Hemsworth is charming and, um, impressive as the God of Thunder. Believable as both an arrogant warrior and an amused outsider, his performance was downright disarming at times. Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind hitting him with my car or with anything else a few times (cold shower anyone?) He managed to make wielding Mjolnir, a war hammer that could have looked ridiculous in comparison to more modern weapons, look cool and intimidating. Mjolnir, a character in its own right, produced a highly satisfying crunch every time it slammed into the face of a frost giant.
Yes please.
Thor’s major deviation from the comic book? His lack of amnesia. In the comics he doesn’t know that he’s Thor after Odin exiles him to Earth. After “being” Donald Blake for awhile, he gets a whisper in his ear from Odin and feels compelled to return to a cave in Norway aka the place of his birth (oh yeah, and sorry Rene Russo, but Frigga is not Thor’s mama, Gaea is) where he finds a wooden cane. Upon striking the cane on a rock, it transforms into Mjolnir and subsequently returns him to his Thor-ian form. He regains some of his memory but not all. It takes saving of humanity a few times before he gets all of that back. Oh yah, and they sort of skipped over the whole part where Thor and Sif are young lovers.
Natalie Portman is adorable and enchanting as Jane Foster, an astrophysicist studying spatial anomalies in New Mexico when she runs into Thor (literally). Arrogant as he is, it would be tough not to fall hard and fast for Thor and she is no exception. What makes her different from most Superhero girlfriends is her humorous way of saying exactly what’s on her mind, even when it’s awkward or poorly timed. Having been there, done that pretty much every day of my life, I totally understand where she’s coming from.
She needs to be rescued. Obvi.
Jane’s major deviation from the comic book? Wow. Talk about a promotion! She went from being a nurse to an astrophysicist! Much like Lois Lane and any number of comic book ingénues, Jane is involved in a bizarre love triangle with two people who are actually the same person. In the comics she’s in love with both Dr. Donald Blake and Thor, unaware that they are the same person. In the movie, the name Donald Blake comes from a supposed ex-boyfriend as opposed to a crippled medical student.
This was my first exposure to Tom Hiddleston, who plays the silver tongued sorcerer and adopted son of Odin, Loki. So far I like what I see. Even knowing ahead of time that everything that comes out of his mouth is part of a devious master plan, I still found myself believing him when he said “damn” after a frost giant provokes Thor into attacking.
Loki’s major deviation from the comic book? It’s been more than a few years since I read the comic books but from what I can remember they pretty much got Loki right. In the comic books it’s a while before Loki sends the Destroyer (the nearly indestructible suit of enchanted armor) after Thor and when he does Thor is able to possess the robot (for lack of a better term) and then turns around and wreaks havoc on Hela of the Underworld…but that’s a whole different story.
Which one of these is not like the others?
Sir Anthony Hopkins is regal and imposing as Odin, King of Asgard and guardian of the nine realms. His poorly timed Odinsleep allows Loki to take the reigns of the kingdom while Thor is exiled. Oops. There are few people who could have portrayed Odin and Sir Tony was a fantastic choice. I don’t remember Erik Selvig from the comics and I’m wondering if the character (played by the brilliant Stellan Skarsgard) is a way of bringing in Eric Masterson way before he’s supposed to be introduced to the story. Never you mind that Eric with a “c” is an architect whereas Erik with a “k” is an astrophysicist. I also don’t remember Darcy Lewis being a character in the comic books, but I really got a kick out of Kat Dennings (FYI, it’s pronounced MEE- YOLL-NER not MEW-MEW, but nice try Darcy). Darcy could have easily gotten lost amongst a cast of larger than life personalities but, to her credit, there was no way Dennings was going to let that happen. Clark Gregg continued his meddling as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Coulson, another character that would get lost in the crowd if it weren’t for his impeccable comedic timing. When Coulson questioned whether the Destroyer was one of Stark’s, I literally laughed out loud.
Sif, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg (Jaimie Alexander, Josh Dallas, Tadanobu Asano and Ray Stevenson respectively) are delightful as the lone warrior woman and the Warriors Three, loyal friends and battle comrades of Thor’s. I’ve always had a soft spot for Sif so I was pleased when Alexander did good by her. Part of me was hoping they’d show her as a kid with her golden hair. It would have been a great way to introduce Loki as a trickster when he chopped it off and, when forced to make it grow back, it came in black. Volstagg shouting “do not mistake my appetite for apathy” was another laugh out loud moment. The Warriors Three were created for the comic books and are not a part of the original Norse mythology. Volstagg in particular, was modeled after Shakespeare’s Falstaff, a man who is innately cowardly but boats of his glorious past. Fandral was inspired by Errol Flynn in his glory days of playing dashing young heroes like Robin Hood. Originally inspired by the cowboy roles of Charles Bronson, here Hogun is given more of a Samurai persona, though he stills rocks the mace.
So perty….
Idris Elba as Heimdall was one of my favorite characters. Maybe it’s because he reminded me of the oracles in the Neverending Story, maybe it’s because I really dug his eyes. I don’t know, but I really enjoyed watching him. It’s a little ironic that Heimdall is portrayed by Elba since in Norse mythology Heimdallr is “the whitest of the gods” but hey, I’m cool with switching it up a bit. His major deviation from the comic book? The fact that he’s actually Sif’s brother.
Colm Feore (really, the best reason to watch The Chronicles of Riddick) got the job of portraying King Laufey of the Frost Giants (Laufey, by the by, is actually a chick in Norse mythology, but whatever). I can’t figure out if Laufey was all CGI or was a combo of CGI and make up. A credit to the special effects peeps I suppose.
Seriously good CGI.
I really liked the interpretations of the costumes, especially Loki’s after he takes control of Asgard. It was virtually spot on. Although I was a little disappointed when Thor got his powers and armor back and his helmet didn’t showed up. But that’s just me being picky. Oh, and anyone else notice Hawkeye?
This movie seriously had the most gorgeous ending credits EVER but the real reason to stay was, of course, another Avenger cock tease featuring Nick Fury. This time it introduced a Cosmic Cube, which is basically a cube of pure power. It will be interesting to see how it fits into the Avenger storyline…hopefully differently than the AllSpark did in Transformers. Loki will obviously be making an appearance in The Avengers which makes me wonder if the plot will revolve around preventing Ragnarok.
Ok, that’s it. I’m calling it right here and now. Ragnarok in The Avengers. Because really, what would be a better challenge for the team then preventing the Apocalypse?
Joss, all I ask is that there is a least one scene where no shirts are allowed. Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?
Ok, what with all the sci-fi/fantasy movies coming out lately, I’ve been doing a lot of reviews. I don’t want this to turn into strictly a movie review blog, but it’s nice to throw them in on occasion. And as this summer looks to be a pretty big nerd/dork/geek fest for movies (Captain America, Thor, Priest, X-Men First Class, etc etc) I’m going to see if I can slide movie reviews over to Mondays so that Wednesday can be my usual musings on whatever nerdy thing comes to mind. Like mustaches. :{)
That being said, I’ll kick off my Monday Movie Madness with a review of colossal turd “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night“. [SPOILERS AHEAD]
This movie had a ton of issues with it. First off, you guys know me. I love a good bit of fantasy. I’m an avid closet Twilight fan which means that whenever there’s a vampire or a werewolf in something, I’m totally willing to give it a shot. But the vampires, werewolves, and zombies kind of looked like they were made by a high school student creating special effects. I will say that the giant Zombie with the mandibles that looked like the cracked out vampires from Blade 2 actually looked really good. But everything else was kind of cut-rate. Which is totally fine for a movie that looked like it had a very, very cheap budget. The whole thing was filmed in Louisiana, which gives huuuuge tax breaks for filming there. If you watched the trailer, you’ll hear him say, “No plan, just bigger guns.” That ‘bigger guns’ moment lasted about 15 seconds and consisted of Dylan (Brandon Routh) walking at the camera shooting different guns. As he walks out of the cameras periphery, you see bodies of all the vampires he’s killed with some kind of flares in their chest or something. Come on guys, you had to go THAT cheap on the special effects that we can’t even see people getting holes blown in their chests, a la Desperado?
That being said, I can look over bad make-up/special effects when the script is at least fun. I’ve never read any of the Dylan Dog books but the script for this one was just flat out weak. It was the trailer that gave me any measure of hope that it would be good, but it did the classic move of just grabbing any chunk of the movie that worked. And maybe it’s what we’ll call “The Whedon Effect” or perhaps “The Raimi Conundrum,” but when I see a trailer like the one for Dylan Dog I expect to see either more wit/sarcasm (Whedon) or tongue so firmly pressed into cheek you see blood (Raimi). This had neither. There were so many clinched lines that just didn’t work. It all started with Dylan having a gun pointed in his face and then having a discussion with the guy who was pointing the gun about the proper way to threaten people with a gun. Blah. It’s like they were pissing on the future graves of Whedon and Raimi. How dare you sir, how dare you. *slaps with white glove*
"Hi, I'm a zombie. No really. A zombie." – Sam Huntington (only redeeming thing in this movie)
But lets not lay all of the blame on the script. There were definitely moments that could have been funny. The problem is that Brandon Routh did nothing with them. Seriously. Nothing. I had high hopes that Mr. Routh could be the making of the next Nathan Fillion or Bruce Campbell. Unfortunately, he just came off as wooden and kind of stiff. When you’re so pretty you make a girl swoon (seriously, when he took his shirt off, I drooled a little) and you aren’t willing to have fun then you’re going to drag all of us kicking and screaming through the movie. Remember when Ash (Bruce) is showing off his BOOMSTICK?
See that face? He’s into it. That’s HIS boomstick. He’s sold. I never got that from Brandon. I don’t know, maybe I was just too lost in his eyes, those lipid pools of awesome cascading down from the glorious mountains that are his pectorals…… what was I writing about again?….